Akatsukitties
by Valkyrie0Magma
Summary: What if the bijuu extraction with Gaara was stopped before it finished? and what if the result sent the akatsuki here...as cats? DeidaraxOc, ItachixOc, SasorixOc, Tobi/MadaraxOc, slight HidaKonaPain. AU. Rated T for language among other things.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: I know, I know: This plot is used WAAY too much. BUT I'VE WANTED TO TRY IT SO BADLY! Ever since I read "Kitty Kurse" by AbbyLovesDeidara, I've wanted to try it!**

**All: Get on with it!**

**Me: Hmph…you're all so mean! Also, this chapter is kind of ooc, since it's during the extraction with Gaara, only: all Akatsuki are in person, and Tobi's there. But that's why it's called FANFICTION! And yes, there will be pairings later on…now…LET'S GO! Zek, the disclaimer~!**

_**~Dun own Naruto or anyother anime mentioned. BTW, for those new young 'uns. To clear up something. I, Zek, own this account. The author, Jordan, does the stories since her parents won't allow her to get an account. I may do some fanfics but that'll be when I become less lazy d: ~**_

Third Person POV

"It's almost ready." Pain said in his low, somewhat cold voice as he gazed down at the extraction process going on down below. The extraction of the One-Tailed Shukaku. His pale gray-violet eyes scanned across the cave, taking in the details of every member. That's right, they were all there in person. He had decided to try it like this, to see if it took less time. So far, no such luck.

"We're entering the final stage." He added, chuckling darkly. Konan, as usual, said nothing. Deidara smirked.

"About time. This is getting tiring, hm."

"Quiet, Deidara. Hold your tongues until we're finished." Growled a low, gravelly voice. Said voice came from Sasori, within his puppet Hiruko.

Kisame glanced at Sasori. "Now, now, Sasori-san, don't be such a spoilsport. We're almost finished, so why not relax a bit?"

"It would be foolish to let down our guard, Kisame-san." A monotone voice echoed. Itachi Uchiha, of course. "After all, I'm beginning to think we delayed the enemy not nearly enough."

That's why I told you all, I should go! It would have been SO much easier to delay those friggin' Leaf bastards if I'd been there rather than YOU!" I think you can all guess who said THAT.

"Hidan, shut UP." Another deep voice commanded. Hidan smirked.

"Make me, Kakuzu-baka!" His response was a punch in the side that cracked a couple ribs. "Gah! Son of a bitch! That hurt, you bastard!"

"Hidan-san, Tobi thinks you shouldn't swear!" Piped up a light-hearted voice from across the cave in a disapproving tone.

"Shut up, Tobi, no one cares, hm." Deidara muttered irritably. Tobi pouted…well, he might have, it was hard to tell with the mask.

"But Senpai!"

"SHUT UP!

"Now, now, Deidara-san, you know you shouldn't talk so rudely. Besides, it's impossible to make Tobi be **quiet.**" That was, obviously, Zetsu. The plant man was slightly anxious, despite his teasing comment. He was beginning to detect some familiar chakra patterns outside.

Pain noticed it too, and his infamous Rinnegan eyes widened. "What? But…they shouldn't be here for much longer…" Itachi frowned.

"As I thought. We did not delay them long enough," He murmured, but it was still heard.

To everyone's surprise, Konan spoke up. "We may have a problem then. If they were skilled enough to defeat Kisame and Itachi, even if it was only clones, and there are eight of them…" she didn't finish, all too aware that everyone's eyes were on her. Hidan's eyes and Pain's eyes were the most focused, though.

Deidara sighed. "Wow. They really are annoying, aren't they, un? Although it could be fun to start a fight…albeit, it will be quite bothersome, what with me lacking an arm and all, hm." Sasori flicked his scorpion tail straight up, moving it slightly.

"Agreed."

Tobi was excited. "There's going to be a fight? Tobi's going to get to fight? Right, Senpai?"

"Whatever. I hope you die during the fight, yeah." He muttered so that Tobi couldn't hear.

As if on cue, the large boulder blocking the door was smashed. Hidan swore loudly, seeing as he had been hit by some flying debris. "DAMNED #$&%*!" Everyone turned to look at their intruders. Only four out of the eight ninja, probably since the other four would be fighting the trap triggered by the Five Seal Barrier.

Kakashi Hatake, Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, and Lady Chiyo of the Sand village were standing there. Sasori gave a low, growling sort of sigh when he saw his grandmother. "As if things weren't difficult enough with the sealing going on…It was considerate not to keep us waiting, though.

"Still as impatient as ever, I see, Sasori." Chiyo remarked. Pain growled.

"Enough! We'll get this over with quickly."

Konan looked in him. "But…Pain-sama, the sealing-"

"We'll keep enough of our chakra focused on it as well. Now…end this!"

Madness broke out the moment he finished speaking. Their four opponents were surprisingly skilled in combat against the ten Akatsuki members. However, they didn't notice that they were technically only fighting three of the ninjas…

Suddenly, one voice rang above above the fighting. "Giant Rasengan!" Every piece of the battle stopped as they all turned to see the orange-wearing ninja sprint forward and drive the large Rasengan against the chakra encasing Gaara.

The force was enough to break through the chakra encasing the Kazekage. A deafening explosion, and a blinding white light…and dead silence. When the Leaf ninja and the Sand elder regained their senses, the Akatsuki had disappeared without a trace.

~fear the line~ fear the line~ fear the line~ fear the line~ fear the line~ fear the line~

Normal POV

"NOO! WHY, WHY, WHY DID I WATCH THIS EPISODE AGAIN?" I bawled as I clicked off my laptop. "I seriously need to remember not to watch that episode anymore…Episode Seven of Fullmetal Alchemist…NINA!" I wailed.

It took my five minutes to calm down from my hysteria. Yeah, in case you haven't guessed, I am COMPLETELY obsessed with anime of ANY kind. Fullmetal Alchemist, Wolf's Rain, Ouran High School Host Club, Soul Eater, InuYasha, Fruits Basket…the list goes on and on. But my absolute FAVORITE would be the anime and manga of Naruto: Shippuden.

More specifically, the Akatsuki are my favorites. I won't tell you my number one, that's a secret. Only my friends know it.

I flopped out on the couch with a bored sigh. "Let's see, what should I do today…Mom and dad are going to be gone for the next four months…school doesn't start until Monday…I guess I could call up Shizuka, Haruka, and Kagami, but then we'd need something to DO…

Oh, yeah, I guess I should give you a basic idea of who I am. My name is Yume Hoshi. I'm seventeen years old. I'm about 5'3", about average weight, and I look like an anime girl, same as all of my friends. We're actually the only girls originally from Japan in this lovely neighborhood we live in, somewhere in Los Angeles. There's probably other Japanese girls somewhere in the city, but we don't know them. Whoops, off-track!

Anyway, I have purple hair that's down to my mid-back, and tied back into a pair of twin braids. My eyes don't match-one's light green, the other's light blue. I have a unique way of dressing-a turquoise top with fishnet sleeves that cuts off beneath my ribcage, and turquoise sweats. Teal gloves and sandals to go with. Yeah, I like turquoise a LOT.

So, I look like a weirdo, I'm from Japan along with my three best friends, I'm a junior in high-school, and I'm obsessed with anime and manga. That about covers it.

Suddenly, I had a thought. A beautiful, incredible thought: Kittens! I'm a little bit obsessed with cats, and my parents said I could get a pet while they were gone…why not a large bunch of kittens?

I jumped up, grabbed my favorite jacket-turquoise colored, of course-and headed out the door to the anime shelter. Little did I know just how complicated my life was going to get…

**Me: Wow…I'll admit, that was pretty bad.**

**Yume: Ya THINK?**

**Me: Yume is the oc version of me, so it's a bit easier to write her character in first-person…Also! I'd like to make a quick request to all of my readers:**

**PLEASE! When you review, I'd REALLY appreciate it if you volunteer names for the Akatsuki when they're cats, since I have almost ZERO. I have a couple ideas, but not many…also, ideas for later in the plotline are welcome! But I'm not taking oc requests…sorry! Maybe later if I need random guests, though.**

**Anyways, on that note: Review! I promise it will get better later on!**

_**~and remember kids, Trolls/flamers/amongotherethings are the scum of the internet and the real world. Try and knock some sense into those idiots~~ the hard way~~ or not~**_


	2. Everyone wants to be a cat

**Me: Why am I updating two days in a row? Simple: This fanfic seems to be PRETTY popular. Three reviews in one day, the same day it's posted? WHOOT!**

**Hidan: Get on with it, *censored*!**

**Me: Don't be mean, Hidan-san!**

**Deidara: You still haven't officially decided on names yet, un?**

**Me: I have some ideas, that along with the volunteered names in reviews…I am DEFINITELY using some of those! Also, when the "Akatsukitties" talk, it's only each other that can understand…and other cats.**

**Sasori: Dear lord, help us…Zek, the disclaimer.**

_**~Disowneth Naruto and any anime mentioned here~**_

Third Person POV

Needless to say, the Akatsuki were not pleased with their current situation at ALL. After all, you wouldn't necessarily be happy if you'd been suddenly transported to YOUR world into another world as a KITTEN, would you? Because that's exactly what had happened to each Akatsuki member. They were all teleported to another world, and were now kittens.

WHY THE HELL ARE WE ALL CATS?" Hidan yowled in anger.

Kakuzu winced, flattening his ears. "Hidan, shut up, you're not making things better." Konan and Pain were conversing softly in a corner of the cage. Deidara was somehow arguing with Sasori over art while shoving poor Tobi's face against the cage floor with his paws.

Zetsu had discovered a…problem. He could no longer talk to himself easily, since he was now two people in one ordinary cat body…only, even more than when he was "human". He now appeared to be meowing to himself. Itachi seemed to be deep in thought. Kisame was…grooming…himself. (J/N Don't even ask, it was from a roleplay using this thought. XD Oh, how my roleplay buddies taint my mind…)

Itachi looked at his partner in disgust. "Kisame, is that truly necessary?"

"Well, Itachi, we are CATS after all. May as well act the part, ne?"

Itachi sighed. "I suppose I can't argue with that twisted, slightly disturbing logic…

Kisame resumed…you know what, let's just ignore Kisame for a little while, okay? Deidara looked at Konan and Pain, still injuring Tobi but dropping his argument with Sasori. "Hey, Leader-sama, Konan-chan, you got any ideas on how we can get back to normal, un?"

"Nothing yet, Deidara. Be patient, you've been hanging around Sasori too much." Sasori only grunted in response to Konan's words

Suddenly, the ten S-ranked criminals heard a bell chime as the door opened and two teenage girls entered the room…

Normal POV, a few minutes earlier

I walked into the animal shelter, looking around for the only employee here that I actually knew. "Where is she, where IS she…ah, there she is! Hey, Mira, what's up?

Mira glanced up at me, caught off guard, and then grinned. She was an eighteen year old senior at my high school, and didn't look how you'd expect a "California Girl" to look like at all.

She was pretty enough to be a supermodel, in my opinion, with long black hair and smoke colored eyes. Her skin was always pale, no longer how long she stood in the sunlight, and some kids thought she was either sick, or a vampire. She's not actually either of those…but she IS kind of a "bad girl".

Wearing her blood-red tank to, tight black jeans, and unzipped black leather jacket, that was pretty easy to see. She walked over to me, a lot more perky than you'd expect a girl with her reputation to be. Let's just say she'd gotten in trouble with the cops more than once, but that was "for fun". She's actually a really nice person.

"Hey, Yume, what's up?"

"Just coming by to look around. And also wondering…are there any kittens up for adoption?"

"Funny you should ask about that…some of the workers brought in ten kittens today. Really unusual, so I don't know if-"

"Mira, I'M unusual. If the kittens are weird, I'll fit right in!"

Mira laughed, but said, "Well, then, come on."

She dragged me to the part of the shelter for cats, in the back room. The moment I saw the kittens, my jaw dropped and my eyes widened. Boy, Mira hadn't been kidding…they did appear to be very weird kittens, but they were so cute!

Two of them were crouched off in a corner, and seemed to be…talking to one another in kitten-ese? That's what it looked like. One of them was bright orange, with pale violet eyes and black spots on its face and ears. The kitten it was speaking with was a pale blue-violet with amber eyes and a white patch beside one ear.

Not far off from them, there were three other kittens. One of them was a pale gold color and very fluffy, with what looked almost like bangs covering one blue eye. It was shoving a black kitten with a bright orange face against the floor of the cage, while a dark red kitten with brown eyes watched, looking almost bored. It had a strange little circle shape on its chest, with what looked almost like a kanji, but it was too small for me to read.

One kitten was VERY weird, and almost familiar. It was white on one half, and black on the other. Its eyes were an almost creepy yellow color. It looked like it was meowing to…itself? Great, one of the kitties is talking to itself…lovely.

Two other kittens seemed to be arguing. One of them was pure silver, with purple eyes and an angry sort of look on its face. It was hissing at a tan colored kitten with black stripes that looked almost like stitches. That kitten's eyes kind of freaked me out, to tell the truth…red sclera and bright green irises. Creepy, yet familiar…and cool.

The last two kittens were kind of cute. One of them was entirely black, with eyes that were black…no, wait, red…no, black…and back to red. Whatever, we'll say it had red eyes. I've been reading too many books if I'm paranoid about black cats! The last one was a big kitten, almost the size of a full grown cat, and pale blue with lines beneath its eyes that looked like gills, and very, very sharp teeth.

Most people would instantly say 'Eww, no way, what else you got?' when they saw those kittens. But I'm not most people. So do you know what I said? I said this, in an almost girlish way: "AWWW! They're all so CUTE!" I added a little squeal on the end that probably deafened the poor kitties…and Mira, who winced and covered her ears.

"Well, I can see you like them…oof…let's see, um…they were all found abandoned by themselves just earlier today in a cardboard box at the side of the road. We gave them all their shots, of course, but we don't know what breed they are. The purple-blue one is the only girl." She sighed as she finished speaking.

"But the shelter is so crowded and all…if these cute little kittens aren't adopted soon, they might have to go to Kitty Heaven." I felt my breath catch at that. I really hate it when people have to put animals down. I bawled for almost two days straight after watching "Marley and Me", which may have been a bit excessive, but that just shows how much I love animals. (J/N THAT MOVIE IS SO SAAAD!)

I swallowed hard. "So you're saying that if nobody adopts them…"

"I'm afraid so." There was a long silence that passed between us. Finally, I said the thing she was probably expecting:

"How much?"

"For one of them?"

"For ALL of them.

Mira seemed surprised, she probably hadn't seen it coming I would want ALL of these cute little guys…and girl. "Well, let's see…they don't have papers, so there's no work you need to sign…you know what? My boss is gone for the day, how about I give them to you for, say…five bucks a kitty?"

"DONE!"

I somehow, miraculously, managed to pull fifty dollars from the pocket of my sweats. Was it just me, or did that stitched-up looking kitten seem to be eyeing the cash? I'll have to keep in mind to keep that one away from my allowance…

Mira turned and left to go and get the large cat carrier…that, I'm guessing, was a large dog crate. You might be wondering: How am I going to get that home? Simple….Mira said I could borrow the "carrying wagon" to put the crate in. and yes, that wagon is HUGE. I just need to remember to bring the wagon and crate back.

While Mira was gone, I decided to get acquainted with the kittens. "Alright, kitties, listen here. My name is Yume Hoshi, and I will be your new owner. In other words, all of YOU belong to ME." Whoa, talk about "that's what she said". "And not in that way! Bad kitties for thinking bad thoughts!" Well, I must seem insane. The cats were looking at me like I was…

"Okay, so when we get home, I'm going to be giving you all names, got it? You might not like them, but I WILL be naming you AS I SEE FIT!" Was it just me, or did they seem scared now? I must seem like a freak…oh, wait, I am one! AND PROUD OF IT!

Mira came back in with the wagon and crate. "Okay, Yume, got the stuff. Do you have cat supplies at home, like food and a litter box and whatnot?"

"No, but I can come back and get that stuff in a little bit. I want to get these cute little kitties home first."

"Alright then. Here, I'll help you out…

Third Person POV, A short timeskip later 

So Yume put all the kitties together in a large crate. This was even less satisfying than the original cage, due to the fact that they were all cramped together. "Worst. Friggin. Day. Ever." Growled Hidan, pelt bristling.

"And you know what, Deidara? I blame YOU!"

"What…why me, un?"

"Because if YOU hadn't brought back that damned jinchuruki, we wouldn't be having to put up with all this shit right now!" Pain had to stop them before a fight broke out.

He glanced over at Itachi. "Itachi-san, you're rather quiet…more so than usual, I mean. Why is that?"

"Have you noticed that, other than our own, there is virtually no chakra here? The girl who 'adopted' us, that girl she was with at the shelter…no chakra."

"Hm, that is true…I didn't think of that…

Sasori glanced up, seeming a little bit edgy about that subject. "You mean to say that nobody in this…dimension or whatever…has chakra?"

"That is correct. Meaning that they cannot hurt us and are undoubtedly not a threat…but this world is strange. That fact alone could mean a good bit of danger for us."

Before anyone could answer, they were caught off guard by the purple-haired girl Yume singing…very loudly. _"Be my bad boy, be my man, be my weekend lover, but don't be my friend. You can be my bad boy, but understand, that I don't need you in my life again." _

The Akatsuki started to wonder about this girl's sanity. But soon, they would find out: What sanity?

Finally, they arrived at Yume's house. She herded the kitties out of the huge crate, and managed to shoo them into her room. The cats were surprised by what they saw.

Her room itself was nice, with a creamy white carpet and pale aqua colored walls. Her bed was a bunk bed, with white wood, along with pale green and blue sheets and a turquoise comforter on each bunk. There was a white bookshelf over in one corner.

Pretty simple room. But the eye-catching things were the posters and such. There was one that showed a short blonde kid with a metal arm standing beside some guy in armor and a bunch of other people. It was labeled "Fullmetal Alchemist".

There was another one that showed a silver-haired kid with dog ears standing beside a girl with a bow and arrow and a chibi kid with a fox tail. This one had the words "InuYasha" written across the top.

But there were a good few other posters as well…of the Akatsuki. A good few of them involved "sexy poses" of the Akatsuki. Sasori with puppet strings coming from his fingers, Deidara with his arms crossed palms-out sticking out all his tongues, A close up on Itachi's face where he had the Sharingan….the list went on and on. One of them had all the Akatsuki together, and even had a picture of Orochimaru in the picture.

Pain looked at Itachi. "I thought you said this was another world…?"

"I did. This is very puzzling." Yume turned to all the kitties.

"Checking out my posters? Don't you all go gay on me!" The boys all stared at her in horror.

"Alright now…LET THE GREAT NAMING COMMENCE!

**Me: Whee! This chapter was fun to write. Mira is actually one of my characters, but I edited her a bit since she was originally a vampire…wow, this is the longest thing I've ever wrote for a fanfic…2,070 words! EPIC!**

**Yume: you fail at life…when do the other oc's you're using come in?**

**Me: Soon, my friend, soon…also, please, I need ideas for things to happen to the Akatsuki occasionally! I'll still take ideas for names, since I'll wait a while before updating it this time, and remember to vote on the poll: Should Konan end up with Hidan or Pain? People are probably gonna vote mostly for Pain, that pairing's more popular, but oh well…Anyways, review…THE KITTIES COMMAND IT!**

**_~and remember kids, K.K. Slider is awesome. Admit it! ADMIT IT! and if you don't know who/what K.K. Slider is then...well, I guess you never heard of Animal Crossing~_**


	3. The Name Game

**Me: Alright then…so, Pain is ahead in the poll by one vote…**

**Pain: YESSSS!**

**Me: OOC alert! And…um…oh, yeah! The kitties get named this chapter, hehe. In case you're curious about names: Zek helped with some, my friend Kagami helped with some, I came up with a couple, and ILoveReadingAndWriting also contributed some.**

**Other than that, not much happens…and in case you're curious, I'm going with the classic water thing for the kitties to Akatsuki thing, for lack of ideas, and because I have some interesting moments involving that…Zek, the disclaimer~**

_**~Disclameth ye olde anime mentione in thine fanfiction~ (please excuse my bad 'Ye Olde Butchered English')**_

Third Person POV

Yume clapped her hands and gazed down at the Akatsuki. "Alright now, who wants to get named first?" She looked over the odd kittens, noticing how unsure and slightly scared they all seemed.

No volunteers? Alright then…um…I CHOOSE YOU AT RANDOM!" she grabbed the kitten nearest to her which, unfortunately for the S-ranked villain, was Deidara. "Aww! You're so cute and fluffy! And your fur is such a pretty color! And your eyes!" she squealed, holding him up to eye-level.

Deidara wriggled around, desperately trying to send a telepathic "HELP!" message to the other members. And failing.

"Well, now, let's see…what to name you…I'm not good at this, so you'll probably hate your name…um…

She thought for a moment. The cats waited, listening intently. You could practically hear the "Jeopardy" theme playing. Finally, she snapped her fingers with one hand, holding Deidara with the other. "Got it! I dub thee…MUFFIN! Don't like it? TOO BAD!" (J/N Anyone who has read "The Red Pyramid" will get this inside joke. XD)

She set Deidara now, and the bomber was bristling in shock and horror. "Muffin? MUFFIN? WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS MUFFIN?" Sasori gave Deidara a cat-smirk.

"Apparently, it is now YOUR name…Muffin." Deidara went off to sulk while Hidan snickered.

"I am going to get SO much leverage out of this!"

Yume frowned when she noticed her cats seemed to be laughing. "Hey, hey, hey now! Be nice to Muffin, your names might be worse! He got off easy…" The cats stopped giving their little meowing laughs, oddly enough. "Whoa, scary…well now…I CHOOSE YOU!" This time she grabbed Itachi.

Itachi wondered if it would be possible to Mangekyo her while he was in cat form and make a daring escape…apparently not. "Now, let's see…I could name you Shadow, but that's too obvious with your black fur…but those red eyes…got it! Your name is now Scarlet!" Itachi twitched in horror, realizing he had just been given a GIRL'S name. (J/N Just now thought of it, but isn't Itachi's ring kanji "Scarlet"? o_O)

She set the Uchiha back down, and he instantly sulked in the corner. Deidara had stopped sulking and was now laughing at Itachi's misfortune. Hidan was gasping for breath now on the carpet…until Yume grabbed him next, that is. "You seem to like laughing, so you're next! Be nice to the others, your name is worse!

Hidan widened his purple eyes. What could she possibly name him that could be worse than Muffin or Scarlet? "And, in honor of my friend Sabrina's old cat…I dub thee…FUZZBUTT!" (J/N I really do have a friend with a cat named Fuzzbutt…I changed her name to preserve identity, though, and her cat's not dead. XD)

Now it was Hidan's turn to twitch as he was placed back among the other cats. "Fuzzbutt? FUZZBUTT? WHAT KIND OF FRIGGIN NAME IS FUZZBUTT? EVEN IF I AM A CAT! I AM SACRIFICING THAT BITCH TO JASHIN AND SNEDING HER STRAIGHT TO HELL FIRST CHANCE I GET! STOP LAUGHING!" But the Akatsuki were too busy dying of laughter to notice Hidan's rage.

Poor, poor Zetsu was snatched up by the spazzy girl with the purple hair next. "And your name shall be Cow for black and white coloring! Hehe…cat named Cow…" she put him back, and he instantly went to the emo-corner…No, seriously, there was one. Yume had put a sign over one corner that said "Emo-corner: sulk here."

"NEXT!" Every cat winced as she yelled, grabbing Konan. "Aw, you're the only girl kitty! And such a pretty color too! Makes me think of either blueberries or cotton candy…so I shall name you the latter! Cotton Candy…that's a mouthful though…haha, pun! I'll call you Candy for short.

Konan didn't sulk like the others, since she had gotten off better than most. Pain was bristling that the girl had snatched his dear, sweet Konan so roughly like that. Hidan seemed a little bit tensed, but not QUITE as ticked off. (J/N It's gonna stay a triangle for a while…)

Yume snatched the first unfortunate kitty to wander her way. That happened to be poor, poor Kisame. "Wow, you're a strange kitty, with your blue fur and…gills? Dunno. Really sharp teeth, though. You make me think of a fish, or a shark…I dub thee…SUSHI!" she replaced Kisame. He instantly moved to the Konan with Zetsu.

"Your turn!" Sasori was held up to eye-level. "Huh…that kanji on your chest looks similar to SOMETHING…oh, well! I'll name you woody, since I just saw toy Story 3 and you remind me of Sasori the puppet boy from the Akatsuki! You know, the people on my posters?"

Sasori didn't react as badly, since he had no idea what Toy Story was…he DID wonder, though, how the girl new his name even if he WAS on a poster…Pain seemed concerned now, he didn't like how much this girl seemed to know.

"M'kay, only three left to name…your next, green eyes!" she picked up Kakuzu, who hissed angrily. "Whoa, vicious little fellow, aren't you? Hmmm…attitude makes me think of Lilo and stitch…and the stitches too…I'll name you Stitch! DEAL WITH IT!" The emo-corner had a new member…

"And now I'll name…you!" Tobi's turn. He mewed excitedly at being paid attention to…especially since it was attention that DIDN'T involve him getting beaten up. "Well, you certainly seem more friendly than the other kitties! And you look like you're naming a mask…orange and black…like Tobi's mask…and his mask makes me think of a…LOLLIPOP!

So, the newly dubbed "Lollipop" was set back among the kitties, the only one seeming happy. "Tobi likes his name, Senpai!"

"Shut up, Tobi, yeah…"

Yume clapped her hands. "And one little cat left!" She grabbed Pain, to the leader's displeasure. "Your orange fur makes me think of Kyo from Fruits Basket…I can't call you Kyo, though, you seem calmer, and those black spots on your face don't work either…but Kyo's name means…Apricot? Apricot! I'll name you Apricot!"

She seemed satisfied as she set down the twitching leader. "So we have…Apricot, Cotton Candy, Muffin, Woody, Lollipop Scarlet, Sushi, Fuzzbutt, Stitch, and Cow!" she ignored the angry looks the cats were giving her.

Well, you guys just stay here while I go pick up some equipment form the shelter! BYE!" She took off, leaving the Akatsuki members on their own…probably not a smart idea. But she closed the door to her bedroom, which WAS a smart idea.

Pain instantly called the organization to attention. "Well, it seems to me as though the girl has given us some…interesting names." 'INTERESTING? THE BITCH CALLED ME FUZZBUTT!"

"Deal with it, Hidan." Growled Kakuzu, AKA Stitch.

Pain sighed. "Not the point. Anyways, what bothers me is how much she seems to know about our organization. She mentioned several of our members by name, as well as the group itself. We need to find out four main things while we're here: How she knows about us, how much she knows, how to become human again, and how to get back to our world.

"The last two will be our primary objectives at this point in time. Any questions?" Kisame raised his hand…er, paw. "Yes, Kisame, what is it?"

"What exactly will we do with the girl-Yume, I believe she said her name was-when we regain our true form? Despite her chosen name for me, I don't really feel inclined to kill her." Of course, that might have something to do with her being the only girl to ever "hold" Kisame. (J/N Yeah, I support the "Kisame has a sick mind" notion. He's awesome, but it makes stuff funnier XD)

"Interesting thought, Kisame. Normally, you're the first to suggest killing-after Hidan, of course-but you have a point. We have no reason to kill the girl."

Konan glanced at Pain. "Pain-sama, if I may."

"What is it, Konan?"

"Perhaps we should just trust her. She may know things about not only us, but about the jinchuruki as well. And I don't believe she'll harm us…" Konan trailed off, but her meaning was clear.

Pain nodded, but then again, he almost always agreed with his partner-in-crime's words. "I believe that is a very good point, Konan. We'll let the girl live, provided she keeps our secret and aids us when she must. Any more questions?"

Nobody spoke up, or raised a paw. "Very well then. Meeting dismissed." What the Akatsuki DIDN'T know was just how…interesting…things would get when Yume found out their little secret…

**Me: This chapter was fun to write! I had to pause and laugh when I wrote Hidan's naming. XD**

**Konan: why are you updating this story so frequently?**

**Me:…I have writer's block on my other stories, and kitties are fun to write about. Plus, I have very high hopes for this story!**

**All: =.=**

**Me: Review, and please remember to vote on the poll~**

**_~And remember kids, if a Starman comes up to you, you must always get a bat then use PSI Rocken Omega 2 times or use PSI Freeze Omega...don't make friends with them~_**


	4. Freaky Dances and Friends

**Yume: Why do I have to do this?**

**Konan: Because the author is trying to escape being killed by the other Akatsuki members due to the last chapter…**

**Yume: O_O; Okay then…um…yeah, some random things: Jordan still has writer's block on her other stories, and likes writing this story, so she's writing another chapter for this one…expect some wait between updates because of school and such…she's trying to make a video walkthrough…um…not much to say…Zek, the disclaimer!**

_**~Disclamettthhhhh teh olde Naruto and any anime mentioned hereth~**_

Normal POV

When I got back from the shelter, I proceeded to set up all their stuff…set out some blankets and pillows for their "bed", get the litter box prepared-not my favorite part-and set out some cat dishes in the kitchen, put the cat food in the pantry, so on and so forth.

I stood in front of my cats, who were glaring up at me. They seemed to dislike their names, oh well. Fuzzbutt especially seemed ticked off. Ah, well. "Alright, cats! Blankets and pillows are your bed-type thing, litter box is where you go to the bathroom, blah, blah, blah, you get the picture!"

They stared at me blankly. I felt an anime sweatdrop on the back of my head. "I'm pretty sure you can figure it out…um…" Dang, what does a girl DO when she has a bunch of cats that need entertaining? Hmmm…got it!

"Alright then, I'm going to treat you all to my epic singing and fail dancing!" I do have a decent singing voice, but when it comes to dancing…I turned on my iPod, which was connected to my iHome (J/N admit it…those things PWN!) and set my playlist to Cascada. "Let's do this!"

Deidara's POV

Well, as if things weren't bad enough. First, the girl Yume decides to name me Muffin. Of all the names in the world, MUFFIN! I didn't like her much as of now, obviously. Then, she decides that she is our "master", which I am NOT thrilled with. So what was I supposed to think when she suddenly started to sing and dance?

"_Turn up the music, let's get out on the floor. I like to move it, come and give me some more. Watch me getting physical, out of control. There's people watching me, I never miss a beat. Steal the night, kill the lights, feel it under your skin. Time is right, keep it tight, cuz it's pulling you in! Wrap it up, can't stop, because it feels like an overdose!"_

True, her voice itself wasn't bad, but the dance could scar anyone for life. It was…kind of disturbing how she tried to make her moves seem "sexy", and apparently, it was working on Kisame and Hidan, who were staring intently…

"_Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor! Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound! Oh, oh, stop this beat is killing_ _me! Hey Mr. DJ let the music take me underground. Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor! Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound! Oh, oh, stop this beat is killing me! Hey Mr. DJ come burn this place right down to the ground!"_

The two members mentioned above would be having nosebleeds by now if they weren't kittens…she did better on the chorus. "Are you kidding me, un?" I snapped, but they were too focused the other members were watching to now.

Hidan stared with wide eyes. "Damn! I take back everything I said earlier about sacrificing the bitch to Jashin if she dances like THIS all the time!" Kisame just nodded dumbly. Konan swiped at both of them, hissing and calling them both perverts.

_"My body's aching, system overload. Temperature's rising, I'm about to explode." _That line interested me slightly. _"Watch me; I'm intoxicating, taking the show. It's got me hypnotized, everybody step aside. Steal the night, kill the lights, feel it under your skin. Time is right, keep it tight, cuz it's pulling you in! Wrap it up, can't stop, because it feels like an overdose!_

"_Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor! Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound! Oh, oh, stop this beat is killing me! Hey Mr. DJ let the music take me underground. Oh, oh, evacuate the dance floor! Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound! Oh, oh, stop this beat is killing me! Hey Mr. DJ come burn this place right down to the ground!"_

She repeated the chorus then, after that. At this point, the song seemed to change…I have to admit, it was kind of catchy, pieced together like an interesting work of art. Yume didn't sing to this part, since it was a male voice, she just danced.

_Come on and evacuate, feel the club is heating up. Move on and accelerate, push it to the top. Come on and evacuate, feel the club is heating up. Move on and accelerate, you don't have to be afraid._

_"Now guess who's back with a brand new track that got everybody in the club going mad. So everybody in the back, get your back up on the wall and just shake that thing. Go crazy, yo baby, yo lady, lemme see you work that thing! Now drop it down low, low, lemme see you take it to the dance floor, yo!"_

Now she just repeated the chorus twice, and the song ended. At this, she turned back to all of us, grinning, and said "So, what do you think? Not bad, eh?"

Normal POV

"So, what do you think? Not bad, eh?" I asked, wiping some sweat from my forehead. Sushi and Fuzzbutt looked like they were in shock. The other kitties looked unsure what to think. I pouted my lips at them. "You guys are no fun!"

Of course, they didn't respond, they're CATS. A very little known piece of common knowledge is that cats only talk in cartoons and occasionally movies or books. Oh, yeah, and in anime and manga. DUH.

So, yeah, I have nothing more to say about the rest of the day. I continued working on my Akatsukitties fanfiction (J/N AHAHAHA! OH THE IRONY!) and used my cats' names for the Akatsuki kittens in my fic.

Anyways, that night-my last night of summer vacation before tomorrow starting school, might I add-I began to get undressed to change into my pajamas. And the cats were…STARING at me. Well, the boys, anyways. Cotton Candy hissed at them and bared her teeth, and they quickly looked away.

"You perverted kitties!" I said in mock melodrama as I pulled off my shirt and proceeded to change into my PJs. They're fairly unique…dark blue with the words "Fullmetal Alchemist" written across the chest and a little pattern of transmutation symbols scattered around as a design. (J/N I WANT PAJAMAS LIKE THAT! TT^TT)

I crawled into the lower bunk of my bed-Shizuka always takes the top when she comes over…THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!(ZekNote: *shoots you*)-and pulled up the covers. I looked over a my cats, and saw they had all reluctantly gotten into their "bed" and were curled up. I smiled sleepily as I drifted off into nothingness…

~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~line~

I'll skip the events of my first morning with the kitties since…well…kind of boring. I'll put it this way: Sushi climbed into my bed during the night and got clawed by Scarlet for that. Breakfast for the cats ended up with Fuzzbutt and Stitch turning it into a battlefield, Apricot and Candy kept everyone in line. Muffin kept beating up Lollipop and cat-arguing with Woody.

Yeah, kind of crazy…did I pick some bad cats or something? Oh, well…so, I climbed onto the school bus and took my usual seat: Seventh back on the left, with two of my friends, June (J/N random side-character!), which is short for something else, and Haruka, one of my anime-obsessed Japanese friends

"Hey, Haruka-chan, June-chan!" June blinked.

"I don't know what that means, Yume."

"Well, if you watch anime with us-"

"No thanks!"

"You're mean!" Haruka whined childishly. I'll give you her description right now:

She's kind of pale, with waist-length black hair and purple eyes. She always wears dark colors, being a bit of a "lolly goth" as we called her. She's pretty small for her age, and even though she's only a few months younger than me at sixteen, she looks like about twelve. Currently she was in her favorite outfit: A black dress that hung a little past her knees with a purple belt.

Yeah, Haruka is obsessed with black and purple…but trust me, she doesn't act emo or however else you might expect a girl that wears almost only black to act: She's like a female Tobi. And a Fangirl of him. See, Haruka-out of Kagami, Shizuka, and my little group-is the newest to anime and manga. She's only at the middle of the Three-tails arc, and doesn't know about Madara, even though we've updated her on all the deaths of Akatsuki so far.

Mainly through the bus ride, we just laughed and acted weird…but about halfway to school, June decided she wanted to sit by the window rather than in the middle. But she didn't wait for the bus to stop and switch out THEN, no…she actually tried to CLIMB OVER HARUKA. I almost fell out of the seat from laughing at how WRONG it looked. All of us were giggling like crazy afterward.

Another ten minutes later, she wanted to switch back. Haruka said, "No way, I had enough pain the first time!" Which earned her a "That's what she said!" from June and I.

June pouted her lips and widened her hazel eyes innocently. "Please, Haruka? Pretty, pretty, pleeeaaase?"

"…fine."

Repeat what happened two paragraphs ago. Needless to say, I was almost glad to arrive at school…we met up with Shizuka and Kagami in less than a minute after getting off the bus. "Hey, Kagami, Shizuka!" both girls looked up.

Kagami, like me, is seventeen, but a month older. She has blonde hair that hangs to her mid-back and blue eyes. We always say she looks like Deidara's little sister. She was currently wearing a black hoodie and blue jeans. You could say she's like the leader of our group…a protector. She's usually getting us into trouble, though, but she also gets us out.

Shizuka is the youngest in our group, a month younger than Haruka, and also sixteen. She definitely stands out in a crowd, with her shoulder-length green hair and amber eyes. She was wearing an outfit that makes her look like a kunoichi: A form-fitting black tank top and blue kapris. She's kind of hard to read at times, but usually is laughing or grinning and acting hyper like us.

"Guess what I did yesterday?" I asked in a singsong voice. Kagami grinned.

"What DID you do?"

"I GOTZ KITTIES! YAY!"

"OHMYGOD KITTIES? You gotta let us come over after school, and-oh, dang…we have homework after school…and Shizuka has gymnastics…"

We finally agreed that we would meet up on Saturday at noon. Little did we know that THAT would be when things got interesting…

**Me: Okay, I escaped the Akatsuki! Anyways…I REALLY don't like this chapter. All it does is have a random song and introduce some new characters…**

**Oh, and the bus thing really did happen with two of my friends and I on the bus the other day. XD**

**Also, I want you people to: GUESS THE PAIRINGS! We all know about HidaKonaPain and I know what the pairings ARE going to be, but guessing games are fun ;D The pairings to guess from are: DeiOc, ItaOc, SasoOc, and Tobi/MadaraOc. You just have to guess which member gets paired with which oc, who you can pick from: Yume, Shizuka, Haruka, and Kagami.**

**Also, to clear it up: All four of those OCs are Japanese by heritage, but they grew up in the U.S.A. Got it? Good! Just thought I'd explain that.**

**Anyways: Review! I promise, the Akatsuki will turn human again next chapter after a week-long Timeskip!**

_**~And remember kids...I dun know what to say now...*shot*~**_


	5. The 'Plot' Begins! For the Most Part

**Me: Yeah…why do I update this story so often? Oh, yeah. One, it has the most reviews/readers/favorites/alerts/etc. Two, it's fun to write. Three…I have writer's block on my other story X_X**

**All: STILL?**

**Me: yeah…anyways, just to clear some quick things up: Kagami's not actually my OC, she belongs to one of my roleplay buddies who also helps with some ideas for the story via roleplay 8D Also, this chapter…THE EPIC AKATSUKI BOYS RETURN! *drool***

**All: -_-;**

**Me: also, be sure to check out my friend Bridge7112 stories, if you like Soul Eater and such. She's currently writing a Naruto/Soul Eater crossover that is EPIC. I GUEST STAR, WHOOT! Anyways…Disclaimer, Zek~~**

_**~Disclaimeth Naruto, Fruits Basket, any song mentioned here, and the Akatsuki nekked~**_

The week went by surprisingly fast, actually. Before I knew it, Saturday had arrived, and my peeps were coming over to play with the kitties! WHOOTNESS!

Speaking of which, I'm starting to wonder about those cats. Every time I call them by name, the only ones who don't sulk are Cotton Candy and Lollipop…ironically, the only two named after candy. Hmmmm…

So, while I waited for my best buddies ever to show up, I was sprawled out on the couch, upside down, reading a Fruits Basket manga while listening to "Daughter of Evil." I couldn't help but notice the cats listening intently, and Fuzzbutt seemed to cat-smirk at the line "with an array of bloody doom." Great, I have a sadistic kitten…

"Would they hurry up and GET here?" I complained, dropping the manga. I'd read it before, anyways. I glared at my iPod, which had started playing "Blah Blah Blah" by Ke$ha." "And you aren't helping…wait, did I just talk to my iPod? Meh."

I started to sing along. "Mu-mu-mu-music's up, listen hot stuff, I'm in love, with this song! So just hush, baby shut up, heard enough. Stop tal-tal-talking that blah, blah, blah…"

Was it just me, or had my kittens started twitching just now? "Oh, come on, it's not THAT bad! Well, the song has a weird meaning, but my singing is okay…right?" Blank kitten stares. "AAARRRGGGHHH!"

"Hey, Yume-chan, what are you screaming about?" I fell off the couch when Haruka peered over me, having snuck in the door while I was arguing with my cats.

"The cats hate my singing, Haruka…and don't sneak up like that…ouch…" Kagami and Shizuka entered, also laughing. "It's not funny!"

Kagami was still giggling. "Yes it is! And…oh, hey, are those your kittens?" She looked at Haruka and Shizuka, and I just had time to cover my ears before…

"!"

"THEY'RE SO KAWAII!" "SQUEEE!" And other such Fangirl sound effects.

_'Eh…ow..my head…migraine…'_I thought to myself. Kagami instantly grabbed Scarlet and glomped the poor creature against her.

"AWWW! I just love black kitties!" I think Scarlet may have just had a heart attack.

"What're their names?" Asked Shizuka as she picked up Woody.

I took a deep breath, and recited: "Apricot, Cotton Candy-or Candy for short-Muffin, Woody, Lollipop, Scarlet, Sushi, Fuzzbutt, Stitch, and Cow." I'd said that all in one breath, motioning to each kitten I named, and then paused to breathe. "Whew!"

"Wow…lots of names. Why'd you name this black one Scarlet?"

"He looks like he has red eyes."

"No, they're black."

"They change colors."

"That's not possib-OH WOW THEY JUST DID CHANGE COLORS!

I grinned. "See, what'd I tell you?" Haruka glanced up at me from where she'd been petting Lollipop, who was by far the friendliest of my new cats.

"Hey, Yume, do your parents know you bought ten cats on Sunday?"

A huge "…" seemed to float over my head. "Uh…no…I never told them…oops?" Insert a faceground from each of my friends, that ended up with Scarlet managing to escape from Kagami, and Woody's face getting shoved into Shizuka's chest…poor, poor, Woody. "DON'T KILL MY CAT, SHIZUKA!

Shizuka and Kagami both jumped up. Haruka hadn't been holding Lollipop at the time, so he'd gotten away unscathed. I think that Woody has just been traumatized, though. I have NO clue where Scarlet-oh, there he is…how'd he get onto the couch so fast? Dang cat reflexes…

Shizuka had a little emo cloud above her head. "Whoops…sorry…hey, have you given them baths yet?"

"Huh? No, you're not supposed to bathe cats…are you?"

"Well, I think you are supposed to, sometimes, but not very often. And you got them from the shelter, right?"

"Well, yeah…a week ago. Why?"

"Well, maybe we should give them a bath right now."

"By 'we' you mean me and whoever doesn't yell out 'not it' soon enough, right?

Shizuka gave a cheesy grin. "Oh, you know me so well, Yume! Yep, that's what I mean…one, two, three, NOT IT!"

"Not it!"

"NOT IT! Dang, too late…" Kagami had shouted it out last. Shizuka shrugged her shoulders. "Too bad for you two. Have fun washing the kitties!"

"And what will you and Haruka be doing?"

"What else? DDR FEST!

And so, two of my best friends in the world set up the PlayStation while me and my other best friend gathered up the kitties. Don't ask how, but we managed to each pick up five…I guess we're just awesome that way, huh?

Third Person POV

So, there you have it. The Akatsuki, an organization of all-powerful, totally epic S-class ninja, were being forced to take a bath by two teenage girls. Oh yeah, and Sasori HAD, in fact, been traumatized.

Kisame snickered as the puppet master twitched. "Honestly, Sasori-san, I personally would have enjoyed the experience."

"That's you, Kisame, not me."

"Hmph. Suit yourself." Hidan, on the other hand, was attempting to claw the girl carrying him, A.K.A. Yume.

"Put me down, bitch before I sacrifice your ass to Jashin and send you straight to hell!"

"Hidan, shut UP." Growled Kakuzu in his usual irritable way, flicking his tail. Yume lightly tapped Hidan on the nose.

"Bad Fuzzbutt, bad!"

Deidara snickered. "You heard the girl…Fuzzbutt."

"SCREW YOU, DEIDARA!

Finally, the girls arrived at the kitten torture chamber-I mean, the bathroom. Kagami started looking through some of the cupboards. "Um…let's see…what kind of soap to use…does lavender sound good?"

"Sure, fine by me, Kagami-chan.

Deidara twitched in horror. "LAVENDER? That's the girliest scent ever, yeah!"

"Well Tobi thinks that lavender is a lovely scent, Deidara-senpai!" Sasori sent Tobi a bored glance.

"Tobi, are you sure you're not a girl under that mask?"

"Yes, Sasori-san! Tobi's sure!"

"Hmmm…" was the redhead's only response.

Kagami started filling the tub with water and pretty scented soap bubbles. Then the girls grinned at one another, and picked up the first two kitties, A.K.A. Tobi and Deidara. "Alright now, Lollipop, Muffin! Time to make you smell all pretty!"

They then set the two S-ranked ninjas into the bathtub…and had no clue how to react when the second thing happened.

Normal POV

Time to make you smell all pretty!" I announced as I placed the two kittens into the bathtub. I turned to grab the next two, and then…there was a sudden "poof" like what you hear in Fruits Basket when they change, so I whirled around…

Two naked men stood in the bathtub. One of them had long blonde hair down almost to his waist and a thing on his chest that looked like a tattoo. The other had an orange mask and spiky black hair…did I mention neither of them had clothes? Oh wait, yeah I did.

The masked man pointed…uh…there. "See, Senpai! Tobi told you he was a boy!"

"YES, I SEE THAT, UN! NOW STOP SHOWING IT OFF TO THE WORLD!"

That's when it fully sank in, and I screamed like any girl would do. "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, DANG IT!" Of course, naturally, it took a minute for me to realize where I'd seen them before…I chucked a towel at both. "COVER UP!"

Deidara, the blonde, wrapped himself up easy. Tobi, on the other hand, puzzled over the towel, wrapping it around his head until Deidara whacked him and told him how.

Kagami had been standing open-mouth in shock. Now, she proceeded to grab the other kittens and place them in the tub while I threw towels. She stopped when she got to Cotton Candy. "I'll turn you back separate." She said, covering the kitten's eyes. "C'mon, Yume, let's let these guys cover up!"

So we left the room. And the sexy villains inside of it…who would've thought my life would turn out like THIS?

Itachi's POV

As Yume and Kagami took Konan out of the room to change her back, we all put on the towels and puzzled over this event. Naturally, Hidan was thrilled, excited for the chance to kill the girls…however, he and Pain both looked slightly disappointed about something…maybe the fact they don't get to see Konan without clothes? Disgusting. I will never understand those two, they're like Kisame when it comes to such things.

Deidara and I searched through some of the drawers until we found what we were looking for: Ponytails.

Don't laugh; you know you saw it coming. We tied our hair back in our trademark styles…mine loose and low, his tied up with his bangs over his eye. Hidan snickered. "Well, guess this proves that Deidara is a boy after all, eh?

Insert a death glare and punch from Deidara. "OW! WHAT THE HELL! YOU'LL REGRET THAT, BLONDIE!

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. This was insane…I heard the girls coming back, along with Konan, who they must have turned human. So, I decided to listen in…apparently, the others decided they would as well.

Yume. "So, um…Konan…I hope my clothes fit you okay?"

Then Konan. "Yes, they fit fine…but I didn't tell you my name."

And Kagami… "We'll explain later."

Back to Yume. "So…how did you guys all end up here anyways?" and with that, Konan explained how we had had an "incident" with the extraction.

"Wow…okay then. So, um…hey, Kagami, know where we could get some clothes for the boys?"

"We could always go shopping, obviously, and I think Shizuka's brother has some that would fit most of them…we'd better hurry up and get some for them, it'll be WAAY too awkward to glomp my Itachi-sama while he's wearing just a towel." An evil little giggle.

I felt my face pale. What kind of a strange world had we ended up in?

**Me: well, this chapter more or less revealed the pairings…XD**

**Konan: *scarred for life***

**Sasori: *traumatized***

**Itachi: *twitching***

**Hidan and Pain: *sulking***

**Me: Er, right…hehe, ignore that…remember to review! Reviews keep me ALLLIIIIIVVVEE!**

_**~And remember kids, make sure you sneak into your parents room if you hear 'something'~**_

_**~And a lil' extra. Also kids, isn't the juxtaposition of 's colors so awesome? Blue and white...maybe not...anyway...I just wanted to say juxtaposition~**_


	6. Sanity Has No Place Here

**Me: HELLO FAITHFUL READERS/REVIEWERS! And time for another chapter of AKATSUKITTIES!**

**So, anyways, just in case some of you were wondering: THIS FANFIC WILL HAVE A SEQUEL!...okay, we're only on chapter 6, so you probably weren't wondering, but oh well!**

**Shizuka: Let's just get on with it before they get bored…Zek, disclaimer!**

_**~...Disclaimeth...Nauto...Akatsuki...etc...~**_

Shizuka's POV

Haruka and I had just finished our third round of DDR. I had won, of course, because, I AM THE DANCE MASTER! No, wait…I am…SHIZUKA OF THE FUNK! (Um cha um cha um cha um cha SHIZUKA OF THE FUNK!)

But that was when we noticed-or, more specifically, Haruka noticed-that Yume and Kagami had been upstairs for a while now. How long does it take to watch a bunch of KITTENS? Ah, well…oh, wait, skip back to our conversation on that.

"Hey, Shizuka-chan, Yume and Kagami have been up there for a while, and…did you hear screaming a minute ago?"

"I think I did, but I don't really know…"

"Should we go check it out?"

"I guess so.

As you can see, I am fairly lazy and quite apathetic when I'm bored. Which, since we're done with our dance-fest, I am. We headed upstairs, and I heard voices talking. Yume, Kagami and…someone else? Another girl? What the heck?

Haruka ran ahead to see what was going on. When I caught up, she was talking with a confused look on her face to Yume, Kagami, and…

"A Konan cosplayer? How did a Konan cosplayer get here?" Kagami jumped, quickly turning and began to explain.

"Oh, uh, hey, Shizuka! Um…we hired some cosplayers to surprise you and Haruka for no apparent reason?"

"I'm not buying it."

"…she's a foreigner and got lost on her way to the mall?"

"Just who else is in the bathroom?

Yume jumped in front of the bathroom door, flailing her arms. "Nobody, nobody, no one is in the bathroom, Ahahaha! What would give you that idea?"

"Yume, move it before I have to show you EXACTLY what I've learned at my Tae Kwan Do classes." Yume's face paled and she stepped back quickly.

Now would be an interesting time to tell her I'm not quite a yellow belt, but that will be saved for another day. I stepped into the bathroom. Less than a second later, my jaw dropped open and I began to get a nosebleed. "The Akatsuki? The actual real-life Akatsuki are in the bathroom? And they're…not wearing…clothes…"

My eyes strayed over the room almost absently, and then they widened when I saw a certain well-known red haired puppetmaster, looking as bored as ever. I gasped softly, and tried to hide my blush. My friends didn't understand why I had a Fangirl thing for a boy who Yume called Pinocchio's evil twin, but…there was just something about him…

Maybe it was because we both lost someone close to us at a young age. Guess I'll never really know. Because despite how the fanfictions and various other things made him seem, the fact remains: He doesn't have emotions. And he'd probably just find me useless and annoying. Kind of like Sakura…did I just compare myself to her? Great, I must be losing what little sanity I have left…

Normal POV

We dragged the S-ranked criminals downstairs, which was surprisingly easy…although Hidan's towel almost slipped. Thank GOD that he caught it in time…that would have been horrifying to see…

Kagami kept on batting her eyelashes at Itachi, who was starting to look a little bit creeped out. "What are you doing?" HE questioned calmly. So, then I explained "The Fangirl Principal" to the Akatsuki when we got to the living room.

Most of them didn't seem very thrilled with the idea of rabid girls obsessing over them and longing to have their kids or whatever it is the more psychotic fangirls do-we don't fit under that category…well, not yet, at least-but some of them seemed okay with it. Namely Kisame.

He stood up, smirking, and folded his arms across his blue chest. "So, which one of you girls is my Fangirl?" We just stared at him blankly. "Aw, c'mon, I don't have all day." I pretended not to notice his eyes admiring our curves…that pervert!

Thankfully, Shizuka and Kagami came to the rescue. While Kagami laughed so hard she fell off the couch, Shizuka just rolled her eyes and sighed. "Are you kidding me? Seriously? I'm pretty sure that not even a RABID Fangirl would go near you when you're STARING AT OUR BOOBS AND OUR ass LIKE YOU'RE GONNA TRY AND RAPE US!"

Everyone stared at Shizuka in shock. Kisame seemed at lost for words and just sat back down on the couch. She seemed satisfied with herself, and I caught her glancing at Sasori form the corner of her eye, but the twin of Chucky just ignored her.

Pain looked at us calmly, and I noticed Konan trying not to stare at him wearing a towel while Hidan tried not to stare at her in my clothes…my love triangle senses are tingling! This will be an interesting time. I jumped when the Akatsuki leader spoke.

"So, you may as well explain to how you know about us, how much you know about us, and give us at least one good reason not to kill you." I heard a whimper from next to me and saw that Shizuka had gone very pale and still. Did I mention she has necrophobia? As in, a fear of dying? Yeah. Just threatening her with death is enough to freak her out.

"Okay, the reason we know about you is because you're all part of an anime and manga called Naruto: Shippuden."

"Why would they name a-whatever-after the Kyuubi brat, un?"

"He's the main character, but more on that later. So, anyways, you guys are part of a fictional world and aren't supposed to exist here."

Naturally, they weren't thrilled with that. "Oi, oi, oi, bitch, I'm pretty sure I know when I freakin exist and when I don't!"

"Shut up, Hidan." Kakuzu growled at his partner.

"Tch, I'd like to see you friggin try and make me, Bakazu

I had to laugh at that. "Bakazu? Oh wow, that's a new one!" I found myself now eye-to-eye with the ragdoll man, as his hand had shot out and grabbed my braids, yanking me in front of him.

"I'm sorry, is that funny to you?" He asked in a low, dangerous voice. "Because we'll see how hard you're laughing with your frigging throat torn out.

Well that had been a very stupid move on my part. Pain turned his Rinnegan eyes on his money-loving comrade. "Kakuzu, release her this instant. We need them for more information." Kakuzu opened his mouth to protest, but at a dark glare, he let me go, muttering under his breath as I scrambled back over by my friends.

Shizuka had turned even paler when Kakuzu was threatening me, but the color drained back to her face now. Konan spoke next. "And how much do you know about us?" She questioned, a lot calmer and quieter.

"Um…" Let's see, go off on a wild rant and explain that we know everything and anything there is to know, or lie? "Give us a minute to pool our knowledge." More like group huddle and decide what to do. I pulled them all out into the hallway, out of hearing range.

"How much do we tell them? Everything or as little as possible?" I hissed. Haruka looked at me with her innocent purple eyes.

"Did they say how they got here?"

"Yeah, Konan said an instant with the Gaara extraction...that's it! We'll just say we know they were trying to extract the Shukaku and that we know the basics of their powers! It's true, right? Not a total lie."

Shizuka and Kagami both grinned and nodded. "Okay, so a little half-lie." We agreed, and headed back to the living room.

"And what exactly did your 'pooling of knowledge' add up to?"

"Not much. We only started watching-and reading-the series recently, so we only know the basics of you guys' powers and that you were finishing up the One-tails extraction, and some other non important stuff."

Yeah. Because their deaths are REALLY not important. But we can explain that to them later on, if we have to.

Oh, god, I hope we don't have to. How will I be able to talk about his death without going hysterical? There's no way… "Oh, and by the way, girls…" Sasori said calmly, his face emotionless.

"Yes?" Shizuka said eagerly, her eyes lighting up. Sasori regarded her coolly.

"How much sanity do you girls even have? You seem fairly unstable to me?"

While Shizuka deadpanned with disappointment that he wasn't madly in love with her or something, Haruka and I burst out laughing. Kagami smirked. "Sanity? What, are you crazy? Sanity has no place here! For this is madness-"

"THIS IS SPARTA!" I burst out, still laughing. The criminals looked unimpressed.

However, a new sound made us all go still. It was the sound of the front door opening, and two boys hollering out "Oh, Shizuka!

The second boy wasn't necessarily someone I got along with. He was seventeen, my age, with brown hair that hung in his brown eyes, and freckles. He seemed a little more calmer, but still grinned lazily. He was Wyatt, Shizuka's boyfriend.

Why do I not like him? Simple. He's just always seemed a bit…weird to me. Way too calm, way too friendly. He has this habit of trying to tease people, but ends up hurting them instead. As in, he gets way too mean and out of hand sometimes. Plus, he's our arch-enemy Courtney's cousin.

Off-track, back to the story. Anyways, both boys stared for a long moment at the Akatsuki members. The Akatsuki members stared back.

Well, this cannot end well.

**Me: WHEW! That was fun to write…I wrote it in about thirty minutes…XD So, anyways, some other stuff:**

**Courtney will have a part later on. Wyatt will also serve a purpose, but don't worry, he doesn't stick with Shizuka much longer. Masaru will be a side-character, kind of there for humor and such. And, before I forget…everybody? Ready? And:**

**All: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

**Me: I WOULD say "Merry Christmas", but Hidan doesn't celebrate it, and I don't know if nay of my readers are other religions…so…Happy Holidays, hope you enjoy them, and remember to review!**

_**~...and remember kids, even games have REALLY hard decitions such as breaking a gal's heart or not or becoming like a player...and then there's the nessasary such as rescuing a reverse trap...~**_


	7. I'll Take a Potato Chip

**Me: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! I have good reasons, though!**

**Reason number one: I'm obsessed with playing Rune Factory 3 on my DSi. I FINALLY beat the final boss!**

**Reason number two: I had some slight writer's block.**

**Reason number three: I have one word…PROCRASTINATION.**

**Sasori: In other words, she's lazy.**

**Me: Shut up, Pinocchio! Anyways…cue the disclaimer!**

_**~yeah...no own...Naruto nor Akatsuki...I'm gonna hurl...~**_

Okay, so where we left off, I had mentioned that things would not turn out well. However, I also noticed that I had forgotten to mention the first boy, and focused only on that jerk Wyatt. So, I'll describe the first guy to you.

I actually DO get along with him…kinda. He's Shizuka's older brother, Masaru Tamashii. He doesn't look much like Shizuka at all…well, not since she dyed her hair, but we'll get to that later. He has slightly messy strawberry-blonde hair that's cut off a little beneath his ears, and his hazel eyes have more gold than green in them. He's also around twenty-two, and is the only adult I know that acts like he's younger than us.

So, where did we leave off again? Oh, right. Stare-down between the boys and our favorite anime villains. Got it. Pretty much, Masaru and Wyatt were staring with looks of shock, and the Akatsuki boys just looked angry.

Wyatt was the first to speak. "What are you girls doing in a house full of men, and why do none of them have clothes?"

"Um…they're hobos that wanted to take showers, but have no other clothes?"

"Right. Because ALL hobos look like puppets, sharks, and plants. And they're OBVIOUSLY covered in stitches, piercings, and need I go on?"

Shizuka sweatdropped. "Okay, Wyatt, you got me." Haruka and Kagami both facepalmed at our hopeless friend.

I sighed and, keeping myself looking as deadpan as possible, said, "Why do YOU think they're here?"

…that probably wasn't the best thing to say. Masaru nearly fainted. Wyatt's eyes widened and his jaw fell open. "You don't mean that they're male whores and you're hiring them?" (Z/N: *drool* ...Dei dei... *blinks* o.o'' ahem...carry on...)

Well THAT went well with the Akatsuki members. Deidara jumped to his feet, Itachi's eyes glowed red, Hidan started cursing, and Sasori looked ready to make an addition to his collection, and so on. It took Pain and Konan a full five minutes to restore order…well, mostly Konan since she hadn't been insulted, but you get the point.

"NO THEY ARE NOT!" All four of us teenage girls yelled when the pandemonium had ceased.

"Oh, then who are they?" Wyatt looked pissed off to the extreme.

"Well, you know that anime and manga we're always obsessing over?" Kagami said casually, folding her arms over her chest. Like me, she dislikes Wyatt greatly.

"Yes…what about it?" Masaru asked, raising one an eyebrow.

"Well…these are the guys we're usually obsessing over. See, Yume got some kittens that turned out that when you put them in warm water they turned into men from that very anime-slash-manga but they don't have clothes on which is why they're here now wearing towels!" Shizuka had spoken quickly before Kagami could, and was now attempting to recover her breath.

Wyatt and Masaru looked like she had just told them she was Charlie the Unicorn. In other words, they did not believe her at ALL. AND YET THE PROOF WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM! Well, boys will be boys…(J/N No offense to the male gender, just my thoughts. I stereotype from the boys in my grade.)

Masaru shrugged his shoulders. "Well, okay, I guess. Just don't do anything 'bad' with them, okay?"

"You should talk. I've seen you and your girlfriend, Masaru. Walked in on you two, in fact." Masaru's face turned bright red. We all burst out laughing.

"No, but seriously, I mean it. I'm a doctor; I personally know five different ways to remove the one thing that keeps these guys of the male gender." Well THAT made the boys go very quiet and very still.

Wyatt was glaring at these young men, his brown eyes flickering occasionally, in an overprotective sort of way, towards Shizuka. He must have noticed her trying to keep from staring at Sasori. I guess his protective attitude COULD be considered "sweet", but it just seemed creepy and possessive to me. Like Orochimaru about Sasuke…ugh. I just made the worst comparison EVER.

I decided to bring up the most important matters at hand. "Hey, you guys think you could help us with some shopping?"

"Huh? For what?"

"Clothes for the boys, Masaru-baka." I said, twitching slightly. Masaru frowned, but nodded.

"Okay, sure thing. How about…three of us stay behind, and the other three go 'shopping?'" Yeah, he hates shopping. Like most boys.

Sounds good to me. Um…how about Shizuka, Wyatt and I go while you, Haruka and Kagami stay and keep an eye on things?"

"Yeah, sure thing. Oh, hey, think you could get me some Pringles while you're out there?"

"Uh, sure, I'll fuel your addiction of potato chips in cans." Masaru gave a cheesy Might Guy grin, complete with the sparkle.

"Thanks!"

"Don't ever smile like that again." Shizuka warned her brother, twitching.

Masaru smirked. "What, you mean…like THIS?" Cue the Might Guy smile.

"YES THAT IS WHAT I MEANT!"

"Okay, okay, fine…you girls go have fun shopping for clothes, okay?" Wyatt frowned.

"Masaru, I'm a boy."

"As I said, you GIRLS-"

"HEY!" A had to snicker at that. Did I mention how much I dislike Wyatt? Oh, right, I have.

Wyatt glared at me, but gave a sigh and nodded. "Fine…c'mon, let's go." He put his arm around an uncomfortable looking Shizuka's shoulder and steered her out the door after me. I rolled my eyes and mimed gagging motions as he passed me. I kind of feared what type of mayhem we'd return to…

~~~~A Timeskip later because I'm so lazy~~~

I looked at Shizuka from where I sat in the backseat of Masaru's car. It was the one he and Wyatt had driven here, so we borrowed it. "I still can't believe you ran around the store with a sweatshirt around your shoulders humming the Batman theme."

"Well, I was bored. And wasn't it on that '101 Things to Do at Wal-Mart' thing, right? I've always wanted to try that," Shizuka said, shrugging.

"I have no comment at ALL on you girls." Wyatt laughed. "Course, that's what I like about you, Shizuka." I pretended to throw up. "Well you're very mature, Yume."

"Well excuse me for getting ill from your over-common mushiness to her!" I sulked. Shizuka snickered.

However, as we pulled into the drive and walked inside, carrying the bags of clothes…we saw an interesting sight. The sight we saw was…unique? Interesting, maybe…nah, it was just scary. How was I so sure about it being scary? Because 90% of the Akatsuki, along with Masaru and Haruka, were huddled across the room, wide-eyed.

The one missing Akatsuki member was in the center of the room, with a very ticked off Kagami striking him over the head repeatedly with a dictionary, blue eyes gleaming dangerously. "WHAT did you call me? Wanna say it again? I'll kick your ass into next week!"

"Ow, ow, ow! Stupid bitch, that hurts!"

I looked over at Zetsu, the one closest to the door. "Um, Zetsu? Why is Kagami attempting to murder an immortal idiot with a dictionary?" The plant man glanced at me calmly.

"Well, Hidan insulted Kagami, so she grabbed the book and attacked him. **He deserved it too, from the looks of it.**"

I nodded. That made sense. Out of all of us, Kagami would be the most prone to violence. Kind of ironic, seeing as her favorite is the pacifist of the Akatsuki. "Kagami, stop trying to kill an immortal, it's a lost cause. And we got the clothes for them, and HIDAN YOUR TOWEL IS SLIPPING!"

Everyone covered their eyes and shrieked…well, the girls shrieked, the guys just yelled at him to pull his towel back up. Hidan cursed and quickly rewrapped the covering he had around his waist.

"IS HE COVERED?"

"YES, I HAVE MY TOWEL BACK ON!"

"GOOD!"

"TOBI WANTS TO KNOW WHY WE'RE YELLING!"

"Everyone shut up, un!" Well, Deidara managed to snap us back to reality. Let's hear it for blonde terrorists, folks!

"You guys all go get dressed, okay? And Masaru, here's your Pringles." I tossed the cans of salty chips at him, and he caught them skillfully, popping the top off and biting one of them. I watched him, and then had an idea.

"Hey, Masaru, mind handing me one?"

"Course not, here.

I took the offered Pringle, and made my expression as blank as possible, breathing very deeply and slowly. The S-ranked shinobi had left by now to go change…well, except Konan, who was still wearing my clothes, but you get the point. Kagami saw what was coming, but Haruka and Shizuka just looked confused. Wyatt frowned, and Masaru raised an eyebrow. Konan seemed curious.

And with that, I began to say one of the most infamous quotes all over the internet. I spoke in a low, eerie voice as I raised the salty fried piece of potato to my mouth.

"I'll take a potato chip…and EAT IT!" Kagami, Shizuka, and Haruka nearly choked on their laughter as they collapsed on the ground. Although that might be because of how I tried to turn my head epically to the side and make it sparkle, and ended up failing.

"THAT WAS SO AWESOME!" Shizuka gasped out as she rolled on the floor. Masaru sweatdropped.

"Am I really related to you?" Wyatt just rolled his eyes. Konan seemed puzzled.

"Um…can I ask what's so funny about potato chips?"

"It's a long story, Konan. A long story indeed."

**Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I had to add the meme in, I just HAD to! I actually did that once while eating Pringles. XD God I'm weird.**

**So, anyways, quick question: how do you think Shizuka should ditch Wyatt, and why? I was thinking at first he'd be abusive, but then I thought he could be with another girl behind her back-which, I decided, would just be ripping off Kitty Kurse, which I don't wanna do-and then I had nothing. So, any ideas?**

**Also, I've decided…Konan will be paired with Pain! I had a feeling that'd come, but it will remain a triangle. IT WILL REMAIN A TRIANGLE FOR A WHILE YET! So, yeah. Guess the poll is done. So…review! I will give you…um…*grabs Itachi and throws him to the reviewers* TAKE ITACHI, YOU CRAZY RABID FANGIRLS! BUT REMEMBER TO REVIEW FOR HIM!**

**~And remember kids...if you happen to meet a huge seahorse-looking dragon named Aquaticus that holds innocent girls prisoner to break their hearts...kill him.~**

**_~In addition kids...FINAL BOSS IS FINAL! PERSONA 4 FTW! and also...hardcore doujin is moar than hardcore...*shiver* I NEED MEH FLUFF BLANKET! FLUFFF! ZEK SIGNING OFF~_**


	8. My Life Equals A Fanfiction?

Chapter eight: Life = Cliche fanfic?

**Me: Again, sorry for the wait in chapters…but again, I have reasons!...okay, not really. Procrastination and my new RPG maker program are my ONLY excuses.**

**Hidan: You're as lazy as Shikamaru! Maybe even more!**

**Me: Of course YOU'D know, YOU got killed by him!**

**Hidan: SHUT UP.**

**Me: Jerk! Okay, anyway…Zek, disclaimer!**

_**~Disclaimeth, says I~**_

Well, this is kind of awkward to admit, but…in clothes from our world, these guys looked even more hot than they already looked! Er, I'll give you an overview of their outfits…

Itachi was in a black Linkin Park t-shirt. OH THE IRONY! Deidara had found a pale blue button-up that he kept un-tucked. Hidan…well, he was in a pair of jeans, but no shirt. OBVIOUSLY. Kisame was twitching in a long-sleeved shirt that had a picture of 'Jaws' on it.

Pain was in a short-sleeved shirt that said "Don't tick me off. Many have tried, none have lived." Truer words never spoken! Konan-who is still wearing my clothes-almost got a nosebleed. Zetsu was wearing normal jeans beneath an oversized coat we'd found. Gimme a break, it's kind of hard to find clothes for a plant-man! He didn't seem to mind, though.

Kakuzu's shirt was dark green with a dollar sign on the front. Yeah, no big surprise there. Sasori was in a long-sleeved shirt of the band 'Scorpion.' He didn't find that amusing, although I sure did! Tobi had found a light gray shirt with a puppy on the front. Something that Madara wouldn't wear…well, I guess he technically IS wearing it, but you get my point.

Kagami was the first to react. "OH EM GEE! Itachi-sama, you look awesome! Much better than those normal Akatsuki outfits!" I could literally FEEL the tension in her body as she tried to avoid glomping him…wait…feel the tension in her body…OH GOD NOT LIKE THAT! (J/N don't shoot me, Zek! D: ) (Z/N: *Matrix style clothes* *cocks gun*)

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "'Itachi-sama?' A simple '-san' would suffice." Kagami blushed.

"Er, well, um…sorry!" She protested. Tobi had gone over to Haruka now.

"Hi girl-chan! What's your name? I'm Tobi!" Haruka turned pink. Did I mention that Tobi is her favorite and she knows nothing about who Madara is? Ignorance and innocence, both are bliss.

"Um…m-my name is…Haruka Shiroyuri." (J/N Translation: Distant Black Lily) She mumbled, still blushing. Tobi tilted his head to the side.

"Okay, then Haruka-chan! By the way, Tobi heard you girls each have favorites…who's yours?" I never knew a shade of pink that bright existed! But Haruka had proven it true with her blush.

Seeing as she was at loss for words, Shizuka chimed in, "Her favorite is T-O-B-I!" Tobi looked confused…well, as confused as he could with a mask on.

"What does THAT spell?" He sounded genuinely puzzled. Deidara groaned.

"It spells 'Tobi', baka."

Tobi perked up. "OHHHH! That makes sense! After all, Tobi is a good boy." He said that last line sweetly. I mentally gagged. Haruka may find it sweet how he seems to like her straight off, but I can already see through his little plan. TOBI may like her, but she's just another tool for Madara.

My theory on that is simple. Even if the rest of the Akatsuki somewhat believe what we said about knowing so little…Madara wasn't buying it. So what he's probably trying to do is gain the trust of one of us girls and make said girl feel "secure" and "safe", then try and get as much info as he can by sweet-talking. And he's just found his target.

…Tobi is a good boy, but Madara is a bad boy. And his "victim" is the "Good Girl" Haruka. I call her that because, as I said, she's like a female Tobi. But without the evil side.

That poor little Gothic Lolly girl…(J/N In case you're curious, yes, that is how Haruka and Madara's relationship will start. :3 He's using her-THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!-at first, but then….:3 no spoilers) (Z/N: *finally shoots*)

While Tobi chattered aimlessly with Haruka, who was blushing still, I looked around the room at the other Akatsuki members. They all kind of milled around awkwardly. I looked at Kagami. Kagami was talking to Itachi, who looked uncomfortable. Poor, poor Weasel-san…

Shizuka, on the other hand, was trying hard not to stare at Sasori. Luckily, the puppet didn't notice. Wyatt, on the other hand, DID. And he was pretty angry, too, by the looks of it. He had his arm around her protectively, the look on his face plainly saying: Back off, she's mine. Lay a hand on her and that hand gets broken…ugh. Creep.

Masaru seemed to be okay. He'd started up a casual kind of chat with Pain. I guess since Pain's the leader of Akatsuki and Masaru considers himself to be the leader of us because he's the oldest in our 'group'-don't ask why he thinks he's in our group-that they would be okay with one another.

I really don't want to know what they're talking about… "Ah, excuse me, Yume-chan?" I jumped about a foot when Konan's voice was suddenly behind me. "AH NINJA!" Was along the lines of my reaction. Kagami and Shizuka cracked up. Haruka would've, but she was still distracted by Tobi.

"Um…yeah? What is it?"

"…I'm guessing I know the answer to this, but…you don't mind us staying here at your house until we can figure out how to get home…right?" What was your first clue? Only one problem…

"Well, of course I don't mind, I'm cool with it…but the thing is, I don't have enough rooms or beds for anyone...maybe six of you, but-"

Thankfully, Kagami came to the rescue…wait, should I REALLY be thankful? "Oh, no problem, I can cover it! I'll just take four of them over to my house…let's see…I'll take Itachi-sama, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu."

Well, Itachi was a given. I guess she's taking Kisame because he's Itachi's partner. And Hidan and Kakuzu…I'll sum it up: Out of all four of us, Kagami is the one who's obsessed with yaoi the most.

Me, I prefer SasoDei. Shizuka has mixed taste with those pairings. She likes SasoDei and KakuHida as well as others, but a bit mixed up: She likes KakuHida fluff ONLY, nothing over T-rated, but her SasoDei tastes are…more mature. Haruka doesn't like the stuff at all. Like I said, she's the innocent one.

Hidan spoke up on that first. "Whoa, whoa, WHOA. How come the emo prick gets the honorific '-sama', but I don't even get a '-san?'" Emo? Nah, you're mixing him up with Sasuke…wait, he called Itachi a prick…

Rule number one, Hidan: Don't insult Itachi when Kagami is in the room. Wait until she's outside! Okay, kidding, kidding…mostly.

While Itachi didn't seem to care, you could practically SEE Kagami get an evil glow in her blue eyes. I acted on instinct. "EVERYBODY WHO VALUES THEIR EXISTENCE ON EARTH HIDE NOW!"

Apparently, everyone-even Tobi-is smarter than Hidan, because they all moved to the side of the room. Masaru and Wyatt sprinted out of the room hollering, "Well, gotta go, see ya later!" over their shoulders as they went.

Tobi had picked up Haruka and scrambled to the side of the room with her along with the rest of us. Haruka looked close to passing out. Kagami had a dark aura emanating from her body, crackling with untamed, dark fury that had all of us trembling…well, I was, and so were Shizuka and Haruka.

Kagami had, somehow, gotten a hold of a skillet. Not the band, that would be weird, even though their music is awesome. No, she had the frying-pan type of skillet. A large one. She was tapping it threateningly against her palm, eyes boring into Hidan's SOUL.

"Never…EVER…insult Itachi-sama...EVER!" She growled through gritted teeth before lunging forward, skillet a-swinging.

Now, as to what happened exactly, I will not say, strictly because it would change this story's rating due to excessive violence…I'll just try to sum it up for you, okay? Okay, good, you understand.

There was a lot of cursing- "YOU BITCH, PUT THE FRIGGIN' FRYING PAN DOWN!"

"IT'S A SKILLET, YOU FREAKIN DUMBASS, AND I WILL NOT!"-like that. There was some blood-she could hit HARD-and in the end, Hidan was unconscious, covered in bruises, and Kagami was smiling triumphantly.

Shizuka and I simultaneously hummed the Final Fantasy victory theme as Kagami put the skillet back…wherever she'd found it. Everyone stared blankly at Hidan. Kakuzu finally spoke grudgingly. "Well, anyone that can knock out Hidan like that has MY respect." Deidara nodded.

"Kami-sama have mercy on who ever ticks off that girl, hm."

I gave an awkward laugh. "That about sums it up. Kagami is the…how to put this…most dangerous and sadistic one in the group." Wow, she can't go one hour without beating up on Hidan…if he wasn't immortal, he would die in the night at her house.

Come to think of it, she has both him AND Kisame at her house tonight and however long it takes for the Akatsuki to get home…oh, geez, what if they try to rape her in the night? They're both sick-minded, possibly desperate, perverts so do you think maybe…?

Oh, god, push those thoughts out of my mind. Besides, Kagami is dangerous. She has the skillet. And Kakuzu and Itachi can probably hold those two off. Besides, I think Hidan has his eyes on Konan. He'd been staring at her a LOT… (Z/N: ...maybe Kagi-chan will 'attack' Itachi, if you get my drift. When Its Girl On Guy Its Funny...NOT)

Love triangle senses are TINGLING! Hmmm…I wonder if maybe that's not the ONLY love going to happen in this time?

…my life has become such a fanfiction. (J/N XD Literally) guess I have to deal with it though, if I want to survive this at all…not saying it wouldn't be nice, but it probably wouldn't happen…he's too cool for me…

…and if you have no idea who I'm talking about, it's a process of elimination. Have fun figuring it out.

**Me: sorry this chapter wasn't as good, but my brain is kind of multitasking…also, I have some videos on *tube of the you*! You can find them under "YumeHoshiChan"…they're pretty good, IMO. But that's just m-OH GOD ITACHI? IS THAT YOU?**

**Itachi: *shirt is missing, covered in lip prints, hair is out of its ponytail, pants are torn below the knees* *eyes are Sharingan* YOU THREW ME. TO THE. FANGIRLS.**

**Me: O_O; OH GOD I'M S- no, no no…don't use the Mangekyo..NO!**

***We are having technical difficulties. We will be back in 3...2…1…***

**Me: *twitching* that was horrible…either way…remember to review! I'll give Itachi a break and give you…uh…HIDAN! *throws him to the fangirls* Knock yourselves out. So, later, and remember…R & R!**

_**~Ah, Valentines day...I hate you soooooooooooooo much, Love, I REALLY do *smiling Russia/Ivan look*~**_

_**~And remember kids, when a kid comes into your room with the same voice as you and starts speaking in CRIPTIC METAPHORS you know you've gone insane *try and get that reference...you get a cookie if you do*~**_


	9. Movies With a Side of Fluff

**Me: You know the drill. Sorry for the wait, etc., etc. Until school's out for summer, I'll probably update once or twice a month. Depends on if I got my skillz in mind.**

**Hidan: *managed to escape from the fangirls, almost worse off than Itachi* Or when she stops being lazy. *glaring at me***

**Me: AW SNAP HE'S BACK! *heads for the hills, Hidan chasing***

**Yume: -_- Zek, I believe that's your cue…**

_**~DisCLAIIIM!~**_

We had just decided to be lazy like Shikamaru and order pizzas for dinner. I was trying hard not to laugh as the boys stared at Kagami as she ate her pizza.

Deidara finally spoke up. "Kagami…you've had FIVE PIECES. I had THREE. I'm older than you."

"And your point is…?"

"At this rate, you're going to get-" Being the nice girl I am, I covered his mouth to keep him from getting killed.

Two kinds of people you should never call fat: People who actually ARE slightly overweight, like Choji, or girls. And currently, the latter is the more dangerous part for these guys. Kagami just ignored him, thankfully for his health.

He gave me a weird look when I pulled my hand away. "What the heck, yeah?"

"You'll thank me later," I told him.

"I'll take your word for it.

So when, with no incidents, we finished dinner, Haruka brought up what was on all of our minds: "What should we do now?" And, being the incredible person I am, I said in a perfectly sensible voice: "I have honestly NO idea.

Shizuka thought for a moment. "I'm guessing these guys have never seen a movie-"

"Wait, don't they have movies in the Naruto world?" I remembered Kakashi spazzing about his favorite book becoming a movie in one of the omakes.

"Right. Because the Akatsuki could TOTALLY just walk into a theatre and say 'Ten tickets please' and NOT get the ANBU set on their asses." Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, she has a point…so what were you getting at?

"Simple. We'll do the obvious and watch a movie." I grinned.

"Sounds like a plan! How about Avatar?"

"The Last Airbender, or the one with the ten-foot-gazillion tall blue kitty people where the girls wear virtually no shirts?"

"The second one, baka.

Kisame and Hidan perked up at the second part. "Really? No shirts?" Fish-face looked too interested for my liking.

Hidan grinned. "Hell yeah, we're watching a movie like that!

WHACK! WHACK! THUD! That would be the sound of Itachi and Kakuzu simultaneously whacking their partners in the back of the head and knocking them to the floor. Kagami burst out laughing. "Nice job, Itachi-sama!" And the Uchiha gave the most friendly, witty response in the book: "Hn."

Note the sarcasm.

So, movie got set up, you get it by now. Everyone found a place around the room where they were comfortable…well, almost everyone.

Haruka, for example, may or may not have been comfy. Tobi had claimed her as his for the movie, and was holding her prisoner in his lap. I wasn't aware ANYBODY could blush that shade of red...poor, poor Haruka, falling for a 100-year old evil psychopath…

Most were just on the floor. I wasn't, though. No, I was squished with about five other people on a couch made for THREE. Those people were actually Konan, sitting between Hidan and Pain, Deidara, and Kisame. I was between the latter two.

Not only was Hidan smirking at being close-range with Konan while Pain twitched on her other side, but Kisame got a sick-minded gleam in his eye when I sat between him and the blonde terrorist. "You know, if it's too tight, you could sit in my lap, you know…" He said slyly. Better keep your hands to yourself, Jaws!

"Yeah, good luck with that, fish-face. I'll just let myself be squished, thank ya very much!" And yes, I just spoke like Captain Silver form Treasure Planet. Kisame's shark grin grew a little wider.

"And is that a challenge?"

Great, sandwiched between a peverted shark and a sexy blonde pyromaniac…this'll be a GREAT movie…Deidara rolled his eyes. "Kisame, leave the girl alone, hm." Thank you, Deidei!

Shizuka was lying on the floor next to Sasori. Not so close he'd stab her or find it creepy, but enough so that she could feel satisfied. She respects personal space. Unlike Kagami, who made a point of cuddling up next to Itachi.

The Uchiha shot her a confused look before trying to push her away. She smiled at him in a very sweet, non-Kagami like way. "If you let me sit here I'll try not to glomp you, Itachi-sama." Fingers crossed behind her back, unbeknownst to him.

He hesitated, then nodded grudgingly. "Fine…" Aw, ain't that sweet, folks? Let's give Kagami a round of applause for succeeding! Zetsu and Kakuzu just kind of sulked off in their own places, Kakuzu leaning against the wall, Zetsu IN the wall…well that's not creepy at all. Again, note my sarcasm.

When the movie started, Kisame and Hidan both started muttering something like "where are the girls?" Kagami smirked evilly and coughed something into her hand that sounded like "Skillet." Both of them shut up.

Surprisingly, these guys all liked the movies. Mostly because of the violence, but they all had their own favorite parts. Zetsu found the alien plants to be fairly intriguing. Sasori seemed to be making mental notes about the bows-and-arrows for his puppets. Deidara got a smirk on his face at the explosions. And Hidan and Kisame…you can guess.

I really pity Kagami right about now, sleeping in the same house as those two.

By the time the movie ended, it looked something like this: Haruka and Tobi had both fallen asleep, with Tobi's chin resting on Haruka's head, and her head against his chest. I fought the urge to laugh.

Kagami had more or less gotten way too close for Itachi's comfort, and had wound up hugging him. He now tried to pry her off of him with little success. She is a very clingy girl. Shizuka was still awake, although she'd inched a LITTLE closer to Sasori. He either didn't notice or just ignored her…

I had managed to do okay. Almost put my head on Deidara's shoulder, but had quickly restrained myself. Thankfully for both of us, no embarrassment happened. Konan had fallen asleep as well, partially curled up. Her head in Hidan's lap, her feet in Pain's. Naturally, both were thrilled, although Pain didn't show it.

When Haruka and Konan woke up, their faces were PRICELESS. Haruka turned deep crimson and almost passed out, and Konan just blushed pink and sat very still, not making eye contact.

And did I mention that Shizuka, being the sadistic bitch she is, had gotten photos of them before they woke up on her cell phone? BLACKMAIL!

Huh. There is DEFINITLEY some love interest action going on here…what was that line Brad Paisley sang? Oh, right: "If love was a plane, nobody'd get on."

Personally, I think he should've said "if love was a plane, everything would crash and burn because the pilot is an idiot and the copilot is even more so." But that's just me, personally. I respect his opinion.

By this time it was getting kind of late, so Kagami took her group to head over to her house. Haruka, Shizuka and I went to change…and apparently, Deidara being nineteen and all, he has JUST the right amount of interest in girls that Sasori had to grab him to keep him from following us.

"And where do you think YOU'RE going, brat?"

"Obviously nowhere, hm…" I blushed slightly. Right, like he'd get much fan service from ME…granted, I'm seventeen and mostly 'matured', but I'm still no supermodel.

Shizuka had changed into a navy blue t-shirt with the word 'Eternity' written on it in silvery-white letters, in the font that Evanescence has on their albums. The t-shirt hung to her knees, so she only wore a pair of gym shorts underneath. Haruka was in a pair of purple P.J.'s with black hearts on them. I was in a light green tank-top and pale blue sweats, and my hair was out of its usual braids.

"Okay, you guys can come in now!" I hollered out. Sasori and Deidara walked in as Shizuka climbed onto the top bunk. Haruka was in one of the guest rooms. Tobi got the blow-up mattress, Zetsu took the other guest room, and Konan and Pain had my parents' room.

I really don't want to know what is happening in there… (J/N And no, I will not tell you. =w=)

Kagami's POV (J/N I'll do my best, but she's a friend's OC, so I might fail…^^

"Okay, so there's my parents' room, a guest room, and the basement. And my room, of course." I smiled sweetly at Itachi on the last part. He didn't even blink.

Hidan grinned. "Huh, so your room is an option, huh, bitch?"

"I still have the skillet, Hidan, don't forget. And that goes for you too, fish-face." I added when the shark man looked thoughtful.

"My house, my rules. Fish-face, you can take the guest room. Kakuzu, I guess you get my parents' room. Hidan, you get the cot in the basement."

"Why the hell do I get the worst sleeping arrangements?"

"Because I don't like you much

Itachi looked at me. "And where do I sleep, Kagami-san?"

"Just Kagami is fine. And you'll sleep…in my room," I stated smugly. He raised an eyebrow.

"Hn."

"Well, c'mon Itachi-sama~" I dragged him into my bedroom as the others went off to find their rooms. Granted, there was ONE other guest room, but I wasn't telling him THAT…

"You look that way while I change, m'kay?"

"Of course." I changed into just a loose black t-shirt and sweats. Itachi, though, like most guys, just pulled off his shirt…oh lord I think I just died of happiness…after all, this is ITACHI, I mean, talk about six-pack abs!

He must've noticed me staring because he looked amused for the briefest of instances-cue Fangirl fainting mentally-before turning away. "Do you want the bed, or should I?"

"Oh…you can, Itachi-sama! I'm fine on the floor."

"You sure?"

"Yes!" To prove my point I pulled a blanket and pillow form the closet and made myself comfortable. The Uchiha shrugged and climbed into bed.

This was going to be the best time of my life.

**Me: BACK! I shoved Hidan in my closet so he wouldn't kill me, it took AGES though…**

**Yume: so, what poor, unfortunate soul are you throwing to the fangirls THIS time?**

**Me: Kisame! *shoves him to fangirls* HAVE FUN LADIES! And remember to review~**

**Konan: Smart, throwing the one person who won't protest to having hundereds of screaming girls glomping him…**

**Me: :3 As I said, review!**

_**~And remember kids, THERE'S THIS AWESOME MOVIE CALLED INCEPTION. WATCH IT. I'VE WATCHED IT 3 TIMES~**_


	10. School Time Insanity

**Me: I know we left off on Saturday night, but…I decided to skip ahead to the main week. Why? Simple. I couldn't think of anything to do on Sunday, and…well…if I don't skip ahead every so often, this story will be at LEAST 100 chapters. I'll try to keep it below 50 if possible…**

**Sasori: "IF Possible?**

**Me: You never know…anyway, I kinda like how this chapter turned out. XD I think it's the longest yet! Also, check the bottom author's note for some other stuff I wanna mention. Zek, that's your cue!**

_**~DISCLAIM! Though...I'd like to claim Deidei~~**_

Yume's POV

"Look, it's simple," I said with a sigh as I paced back and forth between the ten S-ranked villains in front of me. "You guys have to stay in your cat forms while we're at school, and we can turn you back this afternoon!"

We had a slight problem. Over the weekend, these guys had grown used to their human forms again and were unwilling to turn back into their kitten forms.

"Hell no you crazy bitch! I'd like to see you TRY to turn us back into that damned kitten form!" Did I say unwilling? I meant downright REFUSING.

"Hidan, shut up before I make Kagami get her skillet."

Kagami perked up, but Hidan paled and closed his mouth. Kakuzu looked slightly irritated, probably since HE couldn't control his partner but a blonde girl with a FRYING PAN could. Shizuka spoke up next, shrugging like it was no big deal.

"Alright then, fine. Can you at least come out into the backyard? There's something I want to show you." I had noticed her whispering to Haruka a little earlier, what were they planning?

…We got our answer shortly after. When everyone was out there, Shizuka stood, clasping her hands together and smiling sweetly. Zetsu looked at her quizzically. "**Alright, we're out here. **What did you want to show us?"

"Oh, nothing much-GO, HARUKA, GO!

Shizuka's brilliant plan? Get the Akatsuki out into the yard…and have Haruka turn on the sprinkler system. Unfortunately, it wasn't JUST the Akatsuki that got soaked by the onslaught from the sprinklers around the yard. Kagami, Shizuka, and I got sprayed too-albeit, we didn't turn into cats.

Although it WAS quite amusing to see Hidan yell "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE-" And be cut off by yowling from the water taking effect. Kitten cursing, maybe? (J/N The Kitty Kurse, durr hurr-*shot*)

"Okay, you guys, help me get them all inside," Shizuka said once the sprinklers had turned off.

Haruka came back, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry, Kagami, Yume, but there wasn't time to unnoticeably warn you to get out of the yard!"

I frowned at her from behind the water dripping from my bangs. "We'll discuss this later." I joked as we started collecting the kitties to take inside. Kagami, naturally, had snatched up Itachi and was cuddling him. Poor guy couldn't get a break…Oh, she also grabbed Kisame, but was holding him a little further away from her, probably not trusting him near her chest. Smart girl.

I picked up Deidara and Hidan, also keeping Hidan away from me...although Deidara may have been a good idea too, seeing as Deidara ALSO seems to have a slightly sick mind…well, you know what they say: Hindsight's a bitch!

Shizuka had picked up Sasori and Kakuzu, able to hold them without fear, although not cuddling them. Probably too awkward with Sasori, and Kakuzu would kill her later. Yeah, necrophobia at its finest.

Haruka had picked up Tobi and Zetsu, and was cuddling the former cheerfully. He was purring and rubbing his head against her chin. Tobi must enjoy it for obvious reasons, but Madara's just being a sicko! Who KNOWS what goes through the guy's head…

Scratch that. Who WANTS to know?

Konan and Pain just followed us inside, not seeming bothered by it. Probably since they're the more "mature" Akatsuki members and the leader/vice-leader. (J/N Yes, I called Konan the "vice-leader" XD)

Okay, guys, we'll be back around 4:00!" I hollered out to the S-ranked kitties (J/N ANOTHER FANFICTION REFERENCE!) as we headed out the door.

Of course, we didn't notice until we got to school that we had left only NINE kittens behind. More specifically, we didn't noticed the meowing from Kagami's backpack until then.

"Kagami?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have Itachi in your backpack?"

"…No…maybe…fine, yes."

"…why?"

"Well he's so cute in kitten form, I couldn't just LEAVE him!"

This was followed by facegrounds from all of us. "We'll have to get you back for this later." I groaned, rubbing my forehead. If you haven't guessed by now, Kagami's sanity is probably the lowest…

So she's the one that everybody fears.

Third Person POV (With Akatsuki) 

"I am NOT, repeat NOT, staying as a DAMNED cat ALL FREAKIN' day! I don't have to put up with this shit!" Hidan growled as he pawed the warm water tap on the sink. "So that bitch can FORGET having me stay like this!

Kisame glanced around, looking slightly puzzled. "Um, where's Itachi?"

Konan glanced at him. "I think I saw Kagami put him in her backpack."

"Figures…that girl's got an obvious thing for him, ne? I don't see why he's bothered by it. She's not too bad-looking, not to mention feisty." Kisame gave a grin and licked his lips.

"And yet if she heard you talking that way, Kisame my man, you'd be dead in a minute, hm." Deidara chuckled, Kisame shooting him a glare and got down as though to attack-

"OI! I GOT IT TO WORK-" Poof. Everyone quickly covered their eyes as Hidan turned back into his human form…without clothing. Oh, YIKES, mental trauma! I feel so sorry for those guys…whoops, broke the fourth wall. (J/N I'll get Sasuke-baka to fix it later.) (Zek Note: Make sure Sasuke is riding JB during the labor)

Of course, while Hidan would have liked to just leave the others as kittens, he quickly wavered beneath their fierce…kitty…glares. Wow, this just PROVES Hidan ain't as tough as he looks, doesn't it?

Konan refused to get beneath the water until a set of clothes was in the room for her and the boys had left, as they quickly discovered from her vicious death glare.

So, now the Akatsuki members were all clothed and such, Kisame decided that it would be fun to watch the "television" the girls had shown them. Like every boy in the 'real' world would. (J/N Again, I stereotype form boys I know. -_-)

Konan, on the other hand, went down the hall to take a shower. Granted, she'd just turned back to normal from her kitten form, but it wasn't like that used shampoo or conditioner or anything like that. So, yes, she was going to take a REAL shower.

While she was taking the shower, the Akatsuki couldn't decide what show to watch…

When she was done, after a nice hot fifteen-minute shower, she realized she'd forgotten a fresh change of clothes.

Hidan and Kakuzu got into a huge fight over the TV remote that soon turned to fists. Sasori moved to splash them with cold water and make them stop, but Kakuzu dodged in time. Hidan and Pain were both splashed and turned back into kittens. Deidara laughed, and Tobi went to get warm water to turn them back.

Konan wrapped herself in a tower to find her clothes, but couldn't remember where she'd put them. As such, she walked into the living room wrapped in only a towel…just in time for Tobi to turn Pain and Hidan back to normal.

So shocked by the sudden appearance of two naked men in front of her, Konan panicked and…dropped the towel.

Every boy's jaw dropped open with surprise. Pain seemed to be close to BLUSHING. Hidan's eyes widened and his nose started bleeding. Konan's face turned bright red as she grabbed the towel and scrambled out of the room, trying to cover herself.

If you don't get what's going on, I'll put it this way: Hidan saw Konan with no clothes. Pain saw Konan with no clothes. And Konan saw BOTH OF THEM. Without. Any. Freakin'. CLOTHES.

Yume's POV, Timeskip after school

"Let's just hope the house is still standing," I said as we walked up the front walk. "And Kagami? I think you might be suffocating the Itachi kitten."

Kagami pouted childishly, still cuddling the black kitty against her. "But he's so cute and fluffy in his kitten form!"

"Maybe YOU should tell him he's fluffy and see his reaction!"

"He already knows I think he's-"

"While he's in human form.

Kagami's eyes widened and her face turned pink. "I can't do that!" She yelped in panic. "He'd HATE me!"

"Well, he kinda heard us talking about it right now as you suffocate him…"

…awkward silenced. Haruka shrugged and opened the door…what we DIDN'T expect to see was this:

"HARUKA-CHAN TOBI MISSED YOU!"

"AAAAAAHHH!" Haruka shrieked in surprise as the masked man came out of nowhere, glomping her against him.

"Where was pretty Girl-chan and her friends all day?" He asked innocently. Haruka was bright red and stammering like Hinata. (Z/N: Oh Madara, you lady killer!)

Shizuka was practically rolling on the ground, and I had to help Kagami pull her back inside. The Akatsuki were all sprawled out watching TV…dang, maybe we shouldn't have showed them it.

I also noticed that Konan, Pain, and Hidan were all refusing to make eye-contact with or sit with one another. Actually, Konan was avoiding ALL the guys, but especially those two. "Hey, why are Konan, Pain, and Hidan staring pointedly away from one another?"

Sasori glanced up at my words. "They all saw one another naked." He explained how Pain and Hidan had been splashed with cold water, and then when they got turned back, Konan had walked in wrapped in a towel because she'd gotten lost looking for her clothes after taking a shower. By the end of it, all of us were sprawled out laughing.

…until Shizuka asked why they were in human forms when we left them in kitten forms. There was a long awkward silence…

And thus, Kagami's Skillet returned for round two with the Akatsuki.

**Me: OH NOES IT'S THE FRYING PAN/SKILLET! XD So wrong I laughed when writing the HidaKonaPain part? Bwahaha.**

**Konan, Hidan, Pain: *looking away from each other, blushing***

**Me: O.O Okaaay then…anyway, my request: FAN ART. It's not a competition or anything; I just think it would be cool if some of my fans made fan art for Akatsukitties. Like, just of the girls, or the pairings, or even just some random scene with the Akatsuki! Or with them as kittens! I'm not picky!**

**Deidara: Translation? She's desperate.**

**Me: Oh, be quiet, Deidei…so anyway, if you DO make fan art and post it, just tell how to find it in a review. And on that note: Review, I'll give you…this guy. *throws Sasori* R&R! Jordan out.**

_**~And remember kids, baseball can be entertaining in anime form...FUNIMATION BETTER DUB SEASON TWO! Grr...~**_

_**~Also, if I get off my lazy ass, I'll try and draw some fanart...That is, IF I get off my lazy ass. Redundant statement is redundant~**_


	11. Dryer Fluff

**Me: Hey, people, I'm back! Wow, I notice that the only response I got for the "Fanart challenge" was from Zek in her author's note...eh, oh well.**

**This chapter is a little longer than the others, and this is where the FLUFF starts! Officially, that is. The pairings will kind of become 'official' in an order: MadaraxHaruka, DeidaraxYume, ItachixKagami, and SasorixShizuka.**

**If you think they come a little fast, I'll put it this way: If they didn't, this story would be Over 9,000 chapters. -_- Take away the disclaimer, Zek!**

_**~HERP DERP, DISCLAIM ~**_

Yume's POV

Saturday morning of our current week, my first thought was: why is it difficult to breathe? My second thought was: why do I feel like someone is holding me? My third thought was: WHY THE HECK IS DEIDARA IN MY BED?

Somehow, Deidara had ended up in my bed, and was currently hugging me against him, like, TIGHTLY. Think of how little kid hugs a teddy bear. Yeah, that tight. Which explained why it was hard to breathe. Not to mention that my face felt like it was on fire, I was blushing so badly.

That's when I noticed Sasori standing back in his little corner, smirking smugly at this little scene. "Puppet strings? REALLY?"

"I got bored. Besides, he seems to be enjoying it." That was true enough. As he spoke, Deidara mumbled something and snuggled closer, pressing his face into the back of my neck. DANG he's a deep sleeper…WHY IS HIS HAND ON MY CHEST?

I was caught in that position for a full five minutes before he woke up and realized what had happened. The room was dead quiet for about another minute before he jolted, pulled away, and fell off the bed. Oh, wow, was he actually BLUSHING? No, wait, he's red with rage and cursing out Sasori.

Of course, Shizuka woke up right then. And when you scare her awake, she shouts out something completely random. In this case: "COLUMBUS SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE IN 1492! Oh, hey, what's up?"

Sweatdrops around the room as Sasori explained to her with his usual bored face. By the time he was finished, Shizuka was cracking up. "Oh, DANG I wish I woke up a little bit sooner!"

I stuck my tongue out at the green-haired girl. "If you had, I would have put you right back to sleep. Using Kagami's skillet." (J/N On subject of the skillet…I swear, this thing is gonna be a new religion for you people by the time this fanfic is over, judging from the reviews XD) (Z/N: ALL HAIL THE HOLY SKILLET *bow *)

Shizuka paled slightly and stopped laughing. "Point taken."

I turned to Sasori and Deidara. "Hey, would you guys mind leaving the room so we can change?"

Deidara gave a slightly perverted smirk. "Aw, can't I stay a little longer, yeah?"

My face, which had still been slightly red, now burned the color of a tomato. "OUT OF THE ROOM, NOW!"

"Ow, ow, okay, okay, I'm leaving!" shouted the blonde as I hit him with my pillow and shoved him and the puppetmaster out of the room.

"That was terrifying…" I muttered, rubbing my forehead as I tugged off the green tank-top I'd been wearing and changed to a light blue t-shirt that had a picture of a wolf on it, and jeans. Shizuka was also in a t-shirt, but hers was a black one with a picture of Evanescence on it. She pulled on a pair of sweats as I tied my hair back into my usual two braids.

When we got down into the living room, Kagami and Haruka were already dressed and downstairs. Kagami was showing the Akatsuki how to play "Clash of Ninja Revolution 3" on the Wii, and they were watching with interest. (J/N I don't care what anyone says, I LOVE that game! But I still wish I had an Xbox for some of the others…)

Wait, when did Kagami get here? Ah, well…

**(TWENTY MINUTES LATER)**

"So any idea what we should do?" I asked as I finished eating my toast. Because it was the weekend, I'd slept in a little later than usual, so it was about ten in the morning. Kagami thought for a moment, and then grinned.

"Hey, have you guys ever played Hide And Seek…in the dark?" I think I see where this is going.

"So you want us to turn off all the lights, hide around the house, and see what happens?"

"YEP!"

"Works for me."

The Akatsuki members seemed to know how to play the game, so we didn't bother with rules. Except for that they couldn't use ninja skillz. "Okay, ready? One, two, three, NOT IT!"

Everyone shouted "not it!" except Tobi, who just stood there puzzled. "Um…did Tobi win?"

"No, Tobi, you need to count to a hundred and try to find us. IN the dark. Okay?"

"Oh, okay, Yume-chan!"

LET THE MADNESS COMMENCE!

Third Person POV

As Tobi started counting, everybody went off to their own hiding spots. Yume and Haruka ran upstairs to Yume's bedroom, where Haruka then hid under the bed and Yume lie down still and quiet on the top bunk.

Deidara had discovered a problem with his hiding spot behind the couch. "Hey, fish-face…MOVE, un."

"I was here first. And I'm not a fish, I'm a shark."

"Sharks are fish, yeah."

"Whatever. Guess we're both stuck here, then."

"Yeah…"

Hidan and Kakuzu got in a brief argument over hiding in the laundry room that ended up with Kakuzu storming out to find a new hiding spot…and Hidan locked in the dryer, shouting angrily, his voice muffled.

Kagami had dragged Itachi into the closet with her and wouldn't let her leave. That poor, poor weasel…

Zetsu kind of sulked beneath the dining room table, irritated that he couldn't use his unique abilities to hide, courtesy of the rules. He really couldn't care less about playing this childish game.

Konan and Pain went and hid in Yume's parents' room, where they normally slept. And I KNOW you're all just DROOLING over your computers thinking they made love or whatever, but NOTHING HAPPENED! (J/N…that we know of) (Z/N: -insert obligatory sex joke-

Out in the living room, Tobi had discovered a problem. "Thirty-five…um…what comes after thirty-five?" He paused for a moment. "Oh, well, Tobi will just skip that number! Thirty-six…" If anybody had heard him, they would have preformed a spectacular faceground.

Sasori had 'accidentally' found the basement. Translation, he tripped and fell down the stairs with a clattering of wood. Grimacing, and thankful that he was a puppet, he got to his feet and looked around. He thought he heard someone gasp slightly, and frowned.

So someone was already here? Well, it couldn't be one of the members; they wouldn't have gasped like that. It must have been one of the girls. In fact, it WAS one of them. Shizuka, to be precise, who had realized Sasori…was in the basement…in the dark…WITH HER.

Shizuka's POV

Oh, crap, oh crap, oh CRAP. What the heck am I supposed to DO? I mean, the guy doesn't seem to like me much as it is, although I can't understand why-oh, right, I almost suffocated him with my breasts when he was a kitten in the first week…

I heard him walk over, and even though he didn't say a word, I could tell he had sat down behind the cardboard box next to me. Because, yes, I was hiding behind a BOX in the BASEMENT while playing hide and seek in the dark.

Long, awkward silence. I think a gay baby was just born.

Finally, the silence was broken by Sasori hesitantly saying "You…don't seem to like talking very much…at least not as much as your friends."

I jolted when I heard his voice. "Um…it's not that, it's just…I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just didn't say anything. I'm not good at talking to boys…"

Okay, that was a lie. I'm pretty good at talking to boys, seeing as I have a brother and all…I just can't talk to boys that I think are super-freaking-HOT. Wait, I can talk to my boyfriend just fine, though…huh…

"I see." Was his only response. Ha ha, irony, since we're in a pitch black basement. I mean, I can't even see the hand in front of my face!

"…well, there IS something I want to ask you…Shizuka, wasn't it?"

"Um, yes, that's right."

"Hm…suiting. Anyway, Shizuka, I was wondering…could you, ah, tell me what exactly this world is like?" (J/N for those who don't know, 'Shizuka' translates to 'Silence.' And since she's been pretty quiet…yeah.)

I blinked, although he couldn't see it. "Huh? Oh, sure, no problem…uh, what exactly did you have in mind?"

"Well, what exactly is there to do? There's obviously a lot more technology than in our world, not to mention you don't have shinobi. Just list a few facts."

"Oh, right! Uh, well, for starters, you don't go to the academy when you're 'qualified' or whatever, everyone starts school when they're six, and go until they're eighteen. Well, if you don't get held back a year, that is. And, yes, there really is a lot of stuff to do. I'm in gymnastics, so I'm pretty busy a lot of the time, and I've been trying to learn Tae-Kwon-Do." And failing epicly.

"There's a lot of places, too. Like, sometimes we just go to the mall and hang out, not to mention all the parks and movie theatres and holidays and stuff. So, yeah, I guess our world is pretty good…but there's problems, too, like any world."

"Such as?" He was definitely interested. Even if he still doesn't like me in the way I think I like him, he was still making an effort to be friendly, at least.

"Well, there's wars, and murders, and rape, and robberies. There's a huge war going on in the Middle East that's been going on almost nine years, there's been news stories about people killing their children...it's messed up."

He was quiet now. Oh, that's right, his parents died in a war, didn't they? Dang…that's definitely one of the reasons that, out of all the Akatsuki members, he's probably my favorite. He's calm and cool, but he's had issues in his past.

Just my luck I fall for the one who dies first…

Third Person POV, again

Tobi FINALLY finished counting to 100. And I think we ALL know what happened next with the masked man…

Tobi's senpai senses were tingling.

So it didn't take long for him to find Deidara and Kisame behind the couch. "Oh! Hi Deidara-senpai, Kisame-san! Tobi found you!"

Deidara and Kisame both groaned, but had no other choice but to follow Tobi now to help him find the other 'poor, unfortunate souls' hiding around the house.

Next person was Kakuzu, who was just sulking bored in the hallway. He didn't say a word as they dragged the poor old man along with them…

Of course, finding Konan and Pain was pretty priceless. Deidara tried to hold back laughter at the fact they were sitting on the bed next to each other. "Well well, what do we have here, hm? The happy couple after having some 'fun', perhaps?"

Kisame started cracking up as Konan glared at them fiercely. "Shut up, both of you before I paper cut you both in places you never knew you had," She snapped.

Kisame stopped, then glared. "Oi, Tobi…Konan and Leader both want hugs!"

Heck, Kagami and Itachi both heard the screaming from within the closet. "Should we go rescue them, Itachi-sama?"

"Hn."

"I'll take that as a yes~" Chirped the blonde, dragging her unfortunate obsession with her.

About one half hour later, everybody had been found, except Hidan, Sasori, and Shizuka…well, Hidan HAD been found, but Yume had just turned on the dryer while he was in there…so, yeah. He was currently cursing and screaming inside of the dryer.

Kagami was laughing. "Bad Yume, you forgot to put him through the wash cycle first!"

"Eh, too much hassle." Kakuzu was also cracking up, which was almost…disturbing."Well, now we just gotta find Sasori and Shizuka…let's see, only places in the house nobody hid in was the bathroom, your sister's bedroom, and the guest room.

"And the basement."

"You have a basement?"

"Yep."

"Okay, now let's go find them~"

Sasori's POV

I heard the shouting from upstairs, and guessed the game was more or less over. About time. I'll admit, though, Shizuka's explanations about their world interested me to no end. I wonder…

"Maybe we should just go upstairs. I mean, they'll find us soon anyway," She said, standing up and turning to walk away. What I did next, well, it surprised both her AND me to no end.

I jumped to my feet and grabbed her arm. "Wait!" she froze and turned to look at me, the light form upstairs casting an eerie light across her face and amber eyes.

"What…what's wrong?"

I smirked slightly as I spoke next, "It's not like they'll find us. There are several rooms, and some undoubtedly won't bother…we can sneak out." She stood there, shocked, lips moving silently.

I tried again. "I mean, I want you to show me what this world of yours is like. More than just you girls and this house. It'll be easy to give them the slip while they're searching, and there's several hours of daylight yet."

She paused, and I could practically see the wheels turning in her head before she grinned wickedly. "Oh, HECK yes!"

Oh, this should be interesting…

**Me: Well, this chapter was meh longest yet, I do believe. And: OMG! Cliffhanger! Sasori and Shizuka are gonna sneak out! Will they succeed? Well they ever be caught? Will nobody let Hidan out of the dryer?**

**Hidan: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!**

**Me: Find out next time on: AKATSUKITTIES! Coming soon to a Fanfiction website near you! *shot***

**Anyway, review! You get…uh…PAIN! *throws him***

**Jordan out~**

_**~And remember kids, DRAGON QUEST HAS AWESOME FREAKIN MUSIC! I would also like to add, I have to wait a week for moar of this one anime I'm watching TT^TT~**_


	12. It's HUGE

**Me: Whoot, chapter 12! And over 80 reviews! :D Let's see if we can get to at least a hundred reviews by chapter 15~That's meh goal~**

**Because I'm not an overachiever looking for OVER 9000! Reviews. XD**

**Also, in news of fanart: you can find some stuff I'm drawing of Akatsukitties people/other such stuff by YumeHoshiChan on deviantART. Yes, I named my account after my OC. So sue me.**

**Yume: -_- And she STILL hasn't drawn me, even though I'm the MAIN character…**

_**~DIS-FREAKIN-CLAIM~~~~~~~**_

Third Person POV

Sasori and Shizuka were careful, like only a quiet girl and an S-ranked shinobi could be. Both of them hid just outside in the hallway as Yume and Kagami dragged all of the others on a "Wild Ninja Chase" around the house to look for them. First stop was the bathroom.

"Oh, I am teasing them SOOO badly if we find them in here!" Yume laughed. "Let's just hope they both kept their pants on, ne?"

Shizuka blushed and Sasori raised his eyebrows at the comment, but they waited until the group was busy searching before they made their move. Sasori grabbed Shizuka around the waist, threw her over his shoulder, and sprinted up to Yume's room as fast as his ninja skillz allowed.

He smirked at the look on her face when he put her down on the floor. "You forget, I'm an S-Ranked Shinobi," He said smugly as he walked over to the window, opened it, and jumped out to the ground. The sixteen-going-on-seventeen year old girl he'd been with looked nervously outside the window as he looked at her expectantly.

_Is Sasori-san INSANE? HE can survive the fall because he's a ninja-slash-puppet, but ME? I'm just a teenage girl! I'LL BREAK MY NECK! If my necrophobia gives me a panic-attack in front of him, I'll die of embarrassment!_

Sasori noticed her hesitation and sighed. "Just JUMP. I'll catch you," He called up to her, keeping his voice low so they wouldn't be heard. Shizuka hesitated, and then jumped, closing her eyes. Geronimo!

As promised, Sasori caught her…of course, that meant he was holding her bridal style, which caused her to go the same color as his hair. Not seeming to notice her embarrassed delight at being held by him, he set her back on her feet.

"So, now, name a place in this world you like to visit that would keep me interested."

"Um…maybe the mall?"

"Fine by me."

The girls plus the Akatsuki members would NOT be thrilled with this…

Yume's POV

It was another ten minutes and a search that seemed longer before we realized that Shizuka and Sasori were nowhere in the house. We didn't OFFICIALLY confirm that, though, until Kakuzu reported my bedroom window was open. Zetsu added that Sasori's chakra was nowhere in the house.

Kagami's reaction was to be expected, seeing as she is the most hyperactive and fangirl-ish of our lovely little group, along with having the worst mouth and temper. It started like this:

"OMG they are TOTALLY on a date!" She squealed, her blue eyes bright. I smacked my palm to my forehead.

"Kagami…weren't YOU the one who said they shouldn't leave the house for risk of getting recognized?"

Then turned to this:

"OH SHIT THAT'S RIGHT! SHIT! THEY'RE FREAKIN' DEAD!" She shouted, her eyes widening, then narrowing in a glare.

Deidara looked at her nervously. "Um, Kagami, calm down, we don't need another Hidan around here, yeah."

"SHUT THE HELL UP, BARBIE!"

"What's a Barbie, hm?"

"Tell ya later…"

That's when I remembered something. "OH CRAP! We forgot Hidan; he's still upstairs in the dryer!" Awkward silence, but we finally agreed to go get him out. And lemme tell ya: He was MAJORLY P.O.'d

He was covered in bruises and scratches, and his normally slicked-back hair was a wild mess. Not to mention he kept shooting me death-glares. He's gonna kill me later, isn't he? Luckily, Kagami came to the rescue!

"Now that THAT'S done…WE MUST GO FIND THEM! Let's see, I'm not leaving you guys alone, so some should come with us, and Haruka can keep an eye on the rest…volunteers?"

Hidan and Kisame raised their hands instantly, Hidan muttering about "getting outta this freakin house" and Kisame mumbling about "finding more hot chicks in this world." I could just SEE Kagami mentally adding them to her "Skillet List."

Deidara shrugged and raised his hand as well. Konan and Itachi, too, though much less willingly. To our surprised, Tobi kept his hand down, saying that "Tobi will be a good boy and stay home with Haruka-chan!" Which I GUESS made sense; since he obviously likes her…wonder if Madara does too, or if it's just an act?

Pain, Kakuzu, and Zetsu elected to stay behind as well. Pain and Zetsu's white half were polite about it, while Kakuzu and the Black half said it more rudely. I'll get them back for that later.

"Now, first things first…you guys should use a Transformation jutsu so you blend in, m'kay?" Kagami said, crossing her arms over her chest. A few mumbled protests, but as her glare intensified, they relented.

Itachi pretty much shortened his hair so that it hung a little past his ears rather than in a ponytail. His eyes lightened to gray, and the lines on his face disappeared. He looked like a teenage boy rather than a young guy in his twenties. Kagami practically had another fangirl attack.

Deidara shortened his hair as well, so it cut off about the same length as Itachi's new 'do, but darkened it to a caramel color. The bangs were shorter too, but not by much. His eyes remained blue, and he'd hidden his extra mouths…even so, he was still gorgeous.

Hidan didn't bother un-slicking his hair, since the dryer had done that for him. Instead, he just used the jutsu to make him appear like he was wearing a shirt, and turned his hair white-blonde. His eyes remained violet, though. "And I ain't doing anymore than that, bitches."

Konan kept her eyes amber, but turned her hair brown and pulled it so that it hung loose, removing the flower as well. Simple, but it worked.

Kisame, well, THAT was pretty funny. He looked fine-still ridiculously tall and muscular, though-with spiky black hair, tanned skin, and green eyes. Only thing was…

"Kisame, I don't CARE how many girls you think it'll get you, you're putting on a shirt!" He grumbled, but poofed his shirt back on.

"Happy?"

"Yep."

He grinned, a surprisingly easy, non-sharp toothed smile.

Kagami struck a pose. "Now that's over…ONWARD TO NARNIA!"

Shizuka's POV

"So, where should we go first, Shizuka-san?" Sasori asked politely as we walked into the front area of the mall. Though he tried to look bored, his brown eyes were wide as he took in the size of this place.

"Um, let's see what there is on the map, shall we?" I suggested, dragging him over to it.

Hardly a moment later, he suddenly chuckled. "Um…Sasori-san?" He pointed at the little 'You Are Here' thing written on the map.

"Well, apparently we've found ourselves," He said, still smirking. I had to laugh as well.

"Yeah, I've always wondered about that…um, where do you wanna go?"

Sasori began looking over the map when a girl who I knew all too well came over. She had shiny black hair, brown eyes, and ruler-straight bangs. She was also our arch-nemesis, and my boyfriend's cousin.

"Oh…hi, Courtney," I said halfheartedly. Yeah, I didn't want to talk to her right now. Especially since if she tells Wyatt about this…well, I don't want to know.

"Oh, hi, Shizuka," She said with false cheerfulness before smiling at Sasori. "Who's your friend?" She's trying to find out if I'm cheating on her cousin, isn't she? That bitch.

Sasori stared at her, seeming confused before stating "My name is Sasori."

"Oh, cool. You from Japan?"

"Um…yes?"

Courtney giggled. "You're so cute~ So how do you know Shizuka? She your girlfriend?"

If he said yes, I'm doomed. If he says no, I'm crushed. So he went in between, luckily for me. "No, we're just friends. I needed a place to stay, and she offered to show me around town."

"Oh…so you're single?" STOP FLIRTING WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND, COURTNEY!...future husband? DID I REALLY JUST THINK THAT? (J/N Kukukukuku) (Z/N: That reminds me...LULU, DON'T YOU RUN AWAY FROM DESTINY~!)

Sasori blinked. "Well, yeah, I guess I am."

Courtney grinned. "Great! Call me later, m'kay?" She scribbled her number on a piece of paper and held it out to him. As she walked away, she looked over her shoulder and blew him a kiss before leering at me. I wanted to throw up.

The red-headed puppetmaster turned to look at me. "'Call Her?'"

"She was hitting on you. She wanted you to call her and ask her on a date or something."

"Oh." He looked at the paper, then crumpled it up and tossed it into the trash can. "I won't be needing that, then. So, where will we be going?"

I had a sudden thought. Grinning, I leaned forward and whispered my idea to him. Sasori looked at me skeptically. "Isn't that a bit immature?"

"Well, yeah, but it'll be fun to try." He pondered that a moment before smirking and nodding.

"Then let's go."

Yume's POV (About 15 minutes later)

The Akatsuki members' reactions were pretty dang priceless when they saw the size of the mall. Konan was first to react. "It's…it's huge! Much bigger than I thought…"

"That's what SHE said, Konan," Kagami and I both said in unison, laughing.

We walked over to the 'You Are Here' map and started looking at it. "Hey, what's this?" Konan asked, pointing at one of the stores. "Victoria's Secret? What's her secret?"

"One that she should've kept," Kagami responded before I could explain. Hidan raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

We looked around the mall for about TEN MINUTES-ten minutes of Hidan and Kisame hitting every girl they saw, of the boys being flirted with and of the girls dealing with the same, of Kagami's death threats and Hidan's cussing, and of aimless wandering-before we got our lead.

How did we get our lead? Simple. Two teenage girls ran by screaming about 'mannequins come alive.' I grabbed one by the arm.

"Um, hi, I know you must be going through serious trauma, but would you mind telling us where the 'mannequins come alive' are?"

"Oh, right. They're at Hot Topic, in the window display. New ones, too, I think. A cute red-haired boy and a green-haired girl."

I turned to stare at the Akatsuki members before turning back to the girl and smiling sweetly at her. "Thanks for your help."

"Um, sure, but…why do you want to know?"

"We're paranormal investigators, ma'am," Kagami said solemnly. "We've come all the way from Candy Mountain and almost lost our kidneys to unicorns that break out into musical numbers every five seconds." (Z/N: If you don't get that reference I'm afraid it's the end for you, my friend)

I have never seen a teenage girl run away from us that fast before…

Sasori's POV

I have to admit, Shizuka DID have a good point about posing as mannequins and scaring everyone to stop and stare at us being fun. It actually was rather amusing to see their reactions.

Of course, after about twenty minutes of that, I sensed five familiar chakra patterns moving towards where we were. Two minutes after that, I saw them.

Kagami and Yume, apparently with Kisame, Konan, Deidara, Itachi, and Hidan. The latter five using transformation jutsus. Apparently, they weren't very thrilled with what had happened.

"Shizuka."

"Hmm?"

"Over there." I motioned towards them with my head. She took one look and paled.

"Let's go hide…like, NOW." She hissed. I nodded, and we began to move toward the door out of the window display. Unfortunately, a certain brat saw us and pointed us out. Crap.

I grabbed Shizuka's arm and pulled her towards the back of the store, shoving her into a display rack of clothing and slipping in after her to hide. Not a moment too soon as the others showed up and began searching for us.

I turned to ask her what we should do, only for her to turn at the exact same instant. Our faces were hardly an inch apart. My eyes widened as she blushed bright red. This was certainly awkward. If either one of us moved forward just a little bit, we'd end up kissing.

I'd never kissed anyone before. It hadn't appealed to me at any time.

It'd be lying to say I wasn't tempted to close the gap between us…

But I didn't. She had a boyfriend, and undoubtedly, neither one of them would be thrilled if I DID kiss her. Instead, I just hissed, "Let's make a break for it" and grabbed her arm, pulling her out.

We'd almost made it to the exit when Yume and Deidara noticed us…

Yume's POV

"HEY, DANNA!" Deidara hollered when he saw Sasori, and proceeded to lunge forward and tackle Sasori to the ground. The puppet looked enraged.

"Get off of me, Brat!" He snapped. I laughed, then tackled Shizuka in the same way.

"Gotcha!"

The others ran over to us, and Hidan burst out laughing. "HA! I knew Deidara and Sasori had something going on behind our back! I knew they were gay!"

Deidara turned and glared at Hidan angrily. "You…! I'm gonna get you for that, yeah!" He snarled. I made a mental note to help him out. I mean, he's my favorite and all, and I don't like people I care about getting picked on.

Actually, it ticks me off to no end.

After some technical difficulties-Kagami cursing out Sasori and Shizuka and threatening to kill them when we get back home for freaking her out and disobeying her-we headed out of the mall, going back home.

I REALLY hope my house is still standing when we get there. Because if it isn't, I'm kicking some butt with Kagami's skillet.

And I also hope that Haruka's still virgin.

**Me: Don't worry, Haruka will still be virgin when they get back. XD This is a T-rated fanfic, remember!**

**I think this was probably my longest chapter so far…YAY!**

**I was listening to 'Animals' by Nickelback while typing this. That's where the innuendos started coming from. Bwahahaha.**

**Anyway, if you review, you get…uh…ah, heck with it, I'm throwing Tobi/Madara this time! Because next chapter is a "Back in time" look to see what happened at the house, and it involves some MAJOR MadaraxHaruka fluff. Also, I'd like to thank Yuti-chan for being a frequent reviewer. *hugs and gives a cookie* Thankies~**

**Now remember to review! For Tobi, Fluff, and Cookies!**

**Jordan out.**

_**~And remember kids, ~**_

_**~That is all~**_

_**~No seriously, exit this story now~**_

_**~Y U STILL HERE?~**_

_**~tl;dr: Y U NO READ?~**_


	13. Mmmm, Lime Cookies

**WARNING: The following chapter contains a perverted, seductive Madara, an innocent teenage girl, LOTS of fluff, cookies, and a mess. Reader discretion is advised.**

**Ha, ha! Just kidding, I know you all WANT to read that. :P Fast update because I wanted to write this chapter. Plus, school's out for me next Friday, so I'll be able to write more often.**

**My BFF-who came up with Haruka's design-had a dream that Madara knocked her up. I'd tease her about it, but I had a dream that Deidara did the same to me in Vegas…**

**Enjoy the chapter, my lovely reviewers!**

_**~DIS-FREAKIN-CLAIM~**_

While the girls-and some of the other members-were at the mall, things were getting interesting at Yume's house.

Haruka had gone upstairs the SECOND Kakuzu turned on the TV, simply because the first thing he found was a Horror Movie marathon. She got sick when there was too much blood and gore on screen and such.

Tobi had stayed downstairs a little bit longer. Of course, the three remaining shinobi were too engrossed in the movie to notice when he slipped out of the room and went upstairs about ten minutes later…

Madara's POV (It's my first time writing Madara, so don't flame if I fail!)

It hadn't taken long after we arrived here to realize that those girls were hiding how much they really knew. Not to mention that they each seemed to be particularly fond of a specific member.

Shizuka kept on getting shy if Sasori so much as glanced at her, when she normally laughed and fooled around with her friends. Kagami kept batting her eyes at Itachi, who seemed to simply ignore her. Yume had been becoming a bit friendlier with Deidara, who seemed to return the gesture in full.

The member Haruka seemed to like had been obvious from the beginning. Me.

But I wondered…unlike the other three girls, she didn't get edgy around me, or tense up if I walked over to her, unless you count blushing and stammering as getting edgy. Yume, Kagami, and Shizuka…all three of them knew the truth that not even the other members know. (J/N Excluding Itachi, and maybe Pain and Konan)

That much was also obvious.

Her affection could be of use to me for information, for finding out how much they know. Interrogation without causing any harm, without arousing suspicion. That was the reason I was going upstairs to speak with her right now.

After all, I've been alive for a hundred years. I have some tricks up my sleeves.

And kunoichi weren't the only ones who knew how to seduce others to gather intelligence.

Haruka's POV

I REALLY can't stand horror movies. Like, at ALL. The violence and stuff just creeps me out and makes my stomach feel sick. Shizuka agrees, but that's only because she has necrophobia and panics at the thought of death.

So to pass the time while the others watched the movie, I got on Yume's laptop and started looking up some of the other manga chapters that I hadn't read yet. I mean, I prefer the anime, but the chapters will keep me updated without my friends having to TELL me!

I wanted to make sure Tobi-kun was still alive farther into the series, to make sure they weren't hiding anything.

What I saw in one of the chapters made me blink in confusion. The name…

Madara Uchiha.

Curiously, I typed the words into the Google search engine. I nearly passed out when I clicked the 'Narutopedia' link, a website I normally avoided because I didn't want to spoil the series for myself.

The profile picture was of Tobi.

The more I read, the more panicked I started to feel. Words flashed through my head, not seeming to mean anything: Leader of Akatsuki…Nine-tails attack on Konoha…responsible for the deaths of Naruto's parents…One Hundred years old…Uchiha clan Massacre…

True Leader of Akatsuki…selfish, evil…kills Konan…

It was sheer panic that caused me to click out of that website and go to deviantART to look at drawings, a habit that calmed me. And just in time, too, because that was when Tobi-Madara?-walked into the room. I pretended to be busy looking at some of the 'demotivational posters' as he sat down next to me, and looked up only when he spoke.

"Hi, Haruka-chan," He said in that childish voice that made me fangirl-squeal mentally.

I tried to keep myself from looking to nervous as I glanced over and smiled at him cheerfully. "Oh, hi, Tobi. What're you up to?"

"The movie scared Tobi," He said, shuddering. Oh, gosh, I think my heart just melted. He's sooo cute! But if he is Madara…?

"Hey, Haruka-chan?"

"Huh? What's up, T-" Before I could finish the sentence, I lost my ability to speak.

How? Simple.

Tobi had leaned forward, adjusted his mask…and kissed me.

Madara's POV

I had a pretty good feeling she was hiding something as she spoke to me. She had seemed a bit more nervous, a bit more timid about me being here. Yes, she must know something.

First step to seduction: Catch them off-guard. In this case, a surprise kiss. A VERY surprise kiss, seeing as she seemed to freeze up for a moment before closing her eyes and moving her lips against mine.

Well, I think she closed her eyes. Adjusting my mask to kiss her had caused me to cover my visible eye, so I couldn't see what was going on. Crap.

…you know those little devil/angel things people talk about? The devil on one shoulder, the angel on the other? I seemed to have that happening right about now.

Angel side: "Madara, this is wrong! You're using her feelings for you against her, using her for your own selfish needs!"

Devil side: "She's useful to you, so why let that chance go to waste, ne? Besides…she's enjoying it. What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

Of course, there was something about her different from the other girls I've kissed during my lifespan. Something so…pure. Untouched. Of course she would be. Unlike most of the other girls I've seduced, she was virgin.

Her hair smelled like flowers. Lilies. I never noticed that before.

Her skin was soft and seemed sensitive, like a child's. Interesting.

I wonder…how much MORE was there to her? She was slightly underdeveloped for age sixteen, only lending more to her childish appearance. But still, the slight curves were still there. About as much as a developing twelve-year old. (J/N I would know; I am one. XD)

Angel side: "Don't even THINK about it! She's pure, she's innocent, and if you try it, she'll lose everything she is! You'll ruin her!"

Devil side: "Oh, c'mon, you know you wanna. So what if she's 'pure' or whatever? Virgins are always the most fun. And if you want it, why not take it?"

Angel side: "You will NOT rape this girl!"

Devil side: "It won't be rape, she likes you. She'll be willing. So shut up, Angel!" (Z/N: Let's play the rape game!)

Angel side: "Oh…really, you think so?"

Devil side: "I know so."

Angel side: "Well…alright then, if you're sure."

Well, so much for my 'good' half, it just got tainted by my dark half… Now I know how Zetsu must feel…BACK TO THE PROBLEM AT HAND.

My hand started sliding down her side, resting at her left hip as I deepened the kiss, leaning a little closer so I was practically holding her down, letting my tongue trace over her lips. I realized she was trembling and pulled back.

I took some deep breaths to get air back in my lungs, seeing as the kiss must have gone on for at least twenty seconds. I switched back to acting as 'Tobi' mentally as I adjusted my mask back over my mouth so I could see…

Haruka's POV

Oh my god…OH MY GOD….OH MY FREAKIN' GOD…

I think I just died and went to heaven.

It's not like I didn't enjoy the kiss, far from it. IT was THE best thing I've ever felt…no, what had bothered ME was two simple facts.

First off, if Tobi was Madara, I had just kissed an old man.

Second off, when he was getting THAT close…well…I kinda freaked out. He was a good kisser and it felt RIGHT, but it also scared me a bit. I wasn't ready to let him put his tongue in my mouth; not yet at least.

And when he bent over me like that, my mind had screamed: RAPE! (Z/N: Let's play the rape game!)

Holy crap, did I almost have a close call and nearly lose my virginity to my crush? Geez Louise, that's a little bit scary!

"Is Haruka-chan okay? Haruka-chan was trembling, so Tobi stopped because…well…did Haruka-chan not LIKE Tobi's kiss?" I blushed and shook my head.

"No, that's not it. You just surprised me, that's all. It was adrenaline more than anything."

"Oh, that's good! Because Tobi likes Haruka-chan a LOT. And Tobi doesn't want Haruka-chan to NOT like him, so…"

My face turned even redder.

"Haruka-chan, Tobi has a question."

"Huh? What is it?"

All of a sudden, he leaned forward so his face was right next to my ear. If his mask was off, it undoubtedly would have been one of those romance scenes where I'd hear him breathing right in my ear.

"Tobi's learning things about Haruka-chan and her friends…but what does Haruka know about Tobi?"

Was it just me, or did his voice sound deeper than usual as he asked me that?

Madara's POV

I have honestly no idea how I could have been stupid enough to use my real voice while talking to her. Especially if she DOES know the truth…

Either way, her reaction kind of started to clue me in. "Wh-what? Well, n-not much, really. I started the series later than Kagami, Yume and Shizuka, so I don't know that much. Plus we weren't that far in anyway…"

Ha! Liar! I could tell easily. How her eyes got wider, how her face turned the color of blood, how she stammered and started shivering.

It was actually cute…

No! Stop! What am I thinking? I'm using her to get what I want: Information. She was a simple tool, something I could use for my own means. After all, I've done this many times before. Playing emotions to my advantage. Why should this be different?

Angel side: "Because, Madara, I think you might be starting to fall in love with her."

Devil side: "As much as I hate to admit it, he may be right. Plus, remember, you haven't had any action in a decent bit of time. No harm in playing with her a while."

Great. So either I'm a pervert who wants to use her as a sex slave, or I'm starting to completely fall in love for the first time. Wonderful… (J/N My money's on pervert! *shot*) (Z/N: Let's play the rape game!)

Haruka's POV

After a long moment, Tobi pulled away from me. "Oh…really, Haruka-chan?"

"Yeah…sorry…"

"OH, it's okay!" He chirped in response, causing me to calm down.

"Hey…Haruka-chan?"

"Huh? What is it?"

"Can…can you help Tobi make cookies? Kakuzu-san said Tobi wasn't allowed to cook in the kitchen after he set it on fire last time…"

I sweatdropped. No matter how in love with this guy I am, no matter how cute he is, he can still be a baka sometimes. But either way, I grinned and nodded.

"We can surprise Yume-chan and the others when they get back!"

Oh, they'd be surprised all right…

Yume's POV

In all truth, I was just glad that the house was still standing when we got back. "HEEY! WE'RE HOME!" I hollered out as we walked into the house.

Pain, Kakuzu, and Zetsu were sprawled out watching some kind of a horror movie on TV. I dunno what one it was, but there was a lot of obviously fake screaming and blood. Cheesy effects, not worth crap, but they seemed interested.

Kagami blinked. "Hey….SHE SAID WE'RE HOME!" They all jumped.

"Oh…so you're back." Pain acknowledged.

We all facegrounded. "Yes, we are! Hey, where are Haruka and Tobi?"

Zetsu shrugged. "Haruka got scared when the movie started and went upstairs, and Tobi went up after her about ten minutes later**. They're probably up there having sex or something.** That's disgusting!** But probably true.**" (Z/N: Let's play the rape game!)

Kagami, Shizuka, Sasori, Deidara, Konan, Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, and me all jaw-dropped to various levels before Kagami ran upstairs. "YOU TWO HAD BETTER BE DONE WHEN I GET IN TH-oh, they're not here."

I frowned. "So, where are th-why do I smell cookies?"

A long moment of silence before I dragged Shizuka and Kagami after me to see what exactly had happened in my kitchen. My reaction: "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN?"

I'll give you an overview: There was flour EVERYWHERE-the floor, the ceiling, and covering the masked man and black-haired girl sitting in the middle of it-not to mention cookie dough covering them.

There were dishes scattered around the room, some sugar spilled onto the floor, and cookie dough ON THE CEILING. Chocolate chips formed a bit of a mess, although the oven seemed to be baking a second batch.

"Oh, hi guys!" Haruka chirped, grinning and waving around one of the chocolate-chip cookies in her hand as I gawked at the mess, Shizuka seemed to be holding back laughter, and Kagami was cracking up.

"Want a cookie?

**There. Some smut, but not enough to bump the rating. :P**

**I blushed so hard while writing this…I know nothing about being seductive…I especially felt awkward writing Madara considering rape…**

**My iPod playing "For Your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert didn't help.**

**My ears are still red right now…**

**But GOD I loved writing this chapter! I hope this'll be the one to bring us to one-hundred reviews! Gotta love fluffy fanservice chapters…**

**Review! You get more fanservice that way~! ;D**

**Jordan out.**

**_~MMMM and remember kids, WHY DO I LOVE BLAZBLUE SO MUCH DESPITE SUCKING AT IT... I mean...It's fun but I need a lot, A LOT of practice and...and...no one has BlazBlue here probably...~_**

**_LET'S PLAY THE RAPE GAME_**

**_NO?_**

**_THAT'S THE SPIRIT~~~_**


	14. Serious Business

**Okay! So, I've decided to get into the famous fanfiction habit of answering questions from reviewers~ Let's start!**

**I Have A Question-Well, actually, she's a good cook-the cookies turned out alright-but…well…Tobi was helping. XD**

**Xakia-Okay, this is actually to your review on my other fanfic, the sequel to Jashin's Devil, God's angel…the reason I discontinued it was…well…I just kind of lost interest in it. :/ It just got way too random after a while-all the filler crack chapters-plus I realize I am now MUCH better in my writing…well, at least if I can use the reviews on this fic as a reference. XD**

**Secretly Evil-Hmmmm…that's a toughie. Kakuzu's English voice is EPIC in my opinion, but Madara's Japanese voice (since I haven't heard his English yet) is also pretty shmexy…I guess it's a tie.**

**ON WITH THE STORY~~~~**

_**~Disclaim~**_

"You're better than drugs; your love is like wine. Feel you coming on so fast, feel you coming to get me high. You're better than drugs, I'm addicted for life. Feel you coming on so fast, feel you coming on to get me high!" (J/N The song is "Better than Drugs" by Skillet)

In case you have no idea what's going on, I'll put it simply.

We're having a karaoke with the Akatsuki-Haruka currently being the one singing-and it's better than ever. Especially since we're bored on a Monday afternoon.

Because nothing is more priceless than Hidan singing "For Your Entertainment."

…except for Tobi singing "Something in Your Mouth" by Nickelback. I think he was singing with his Madara voice for that, but it was still pretty funny.

Deidara's expression at that was priceless.

Unfortunately, the last song had just been finished by Haruka, and now, we have nothing to do. Kagami was the one who finally suggested it.

"So, who's up for a game of football?"

All three of us-Haruka, Shizuka, and I-chimed in eagerly while the Akatsuki members looked vaguely puzzled. Of course, they'd looked the same before we'd shown them how to karaoke, so who am I to judge?

"What's football, un?" Deidara was first to speak up. I was first to jump in and explain.

"Football is a sport people in our world play a LOT of the time. Girls don't play it as much as boys do, but it's still pretty fun." I then began to describe the rules, and by the end, they all looked pretty interested. (Z/N: Zek doesn't understand such sports language. Zek must destroy it. Prepare for imminent termination, Yume)

Of course, my yard wasn't big enough for fourteen people to play football. So, once again, they donned their transformation jutsus-all of them this time, not just the ones that wanted to come-and we were off to the park!

TIIIIMMMEEEESSSKKKIIIIIIPPPP!

"Okay, one more thing, before we pick teams," Kagami said after we'd arrived at the park and were preparing to chuck the ol' pigskin around.

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "What's that, un?"

"You guys can't use your ninja skills. Otherwise you'd end up killing us."

This was followed by some loud protests from the Akatsuki members that Kagami finally broke by shouting, "I HAVE THE SKILLET IN MY BAG!" (Z/N: AND I HAVE SOME OTHER QUESTIONABLE THINGS IN MY BAG...special instruments)

Silence.

She smiled sweetly. "Okay, good. So no mad skillz so we can live and the teams will be…uh…Yume? Pick the teams."

I facepalmed, but did as she ask. Making it so that we wouldn't be traumatized when we got tackled, but we'd get fan service from the people we get tackled by. Yummy.

"Okay, so, the team on the left side will be me, Kagami, Haruka, Shizuka, Hidan, Kisame, and Pain. The team on the right will be Deidara, Itachi, Tobi, Sasori, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Konan. That sound good?"

There were some mumbles-including Kisame and Hidan complaining about not getting to tackle us girls, those sickos-but in the end, they all agreed. Although that MAY have been from Kagami getting ready to take out her Skillet and PWN them…

God, that girl is awesome.

The game started with our team setting it off. Itachi was holding the football, and Kagami started shouting out random numbers despite having NO idea what they meant.

"Forty-two!_ Sixty-nine_! Eighty-seven! _Sixty-nine_! HIKE!" Itachi tossed the football to me, and Deidara grabbed it quickly and started running towards my team's goal. Yeah, not on my watch, you sexy blonde!

I ran over and tackled him as hard as I could…I didn't realize for a full five seconds that this position was awkward. "Oh…gomen, Deidara, but I think my team gets the ball…"

Surprisingly, he just laughed and sat up, holding me in his lap. "Ah, no problem, Yume, hm. I've had to deal with worse before, being a shinobi." AND the ego is finally showing its face. How lovely.

Of course, normally I would be spazzing about this, but Kisame just HAD to go and ruin the moment with one of his dirty comments.

"Hey, Deidara! You can have your girlfriend give you a lap dance AFTER the game!"

I'M GOING TO KILL THAT FISH.

Timeskip: One football game later and back at the house…

The game had gone fairly interesting. Kagami had glomped Itachi about fifty times and Tobi and Haruka tackled each other every chance they got. Pain and Hidan both had tackled Konan, who was blushing badly. Kakuzu had just chucked a rock at Hidan's head.

And Sasori and Shizuka…well, they'd been a bit more careful, Shizuka merely tackling at his legs-kinda awkward when one fell off, thank Jashin that nobody was around to watch the puppet reattach it-and Sasori would simply catch her by the arm.

Actually, we had ended up tackling more than actually playing, but oh well.

Of course, stuff only got MORE awkward when we got back home and saw WYATT sitting on the couch, looking irritated and impatient.

Shizuka instantly stopped still in the center of the room. "Oh, um, Wyatt…what's up?"

"Where exactly have you been, Shizuka?"

"At the park. We were playing football, is that so wrong?"

Am I witnessing a soap opera? Because it looks like it.

Wyatt folded his arms across his chest, a vein throbbing in his forehead. "Nobody tackled you, did they? You didn't tackle anyone?"

"It's FOOTBALL! I'm SUPPOSED to tackle people, you idiot!"

Wyatt narrowed his brown eyes, which didn't look so nice anymore. "Shizuka, do you think we could talk?" He looked at me. "IN PRIVATE?"

"There's some rooms upstairs, you know. The living room isn't the ONLY place in the house."

He twitched, but nodded and headed upstairs. Shizuka hesitated, then followed after him…

Shizuka's POV

…I'm screwed, aren't I?

I mean, he's not just here because it's a Monday afternoon and he wants to visit his girlfriend at her friends' house, I don't think. I mean, his cousin saw me at the mall with SASORI only two days ago!

And somewhere in the back of my mind was a rule about boys and bedrooms, but I couldn't quite recall it as of now. Oh, wait, there it is…DON'T GO INTO A BEDROOM ALONE WITH A BOY UNLESS YOU COMPLETELY TRUST HIM.

Did I completely trust Wyatt?

I'm not so sure anymore.

We stood silently in the guest room upstairs-the one that Tobi had stayed in before he took to staying in Haruka's room at night, a habit since Saturday…hmmm…-and stared at one another.

Wyatt finally sighed, still glaring at me sullenly. "You were at the mall this Saturday. With that redheaded kid Sasori."

"So, what's your point?"

"Shizuka…have you been cheating on me?"

This question caught me off-guard. And ticked me off, too. "What, you don't have any FAITH in me? We're just friends, I was showing him around town-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME! I've seen how you look at him…I can tell how you feel about him…the question is, does he feel the same?"

You have no idea how much it hurt me when I swallowed hard and said, "No."

Wyatt nodded; his eyes making him look insane at this time. "Right! But I DO care about you, Shizuka! We've been together since last year, last year at school…you haven't even KISSED me yet…"

I don't like where this is going. I ESPECIALLY hated it when he walked over and pinned me against the wall, leaning in and crashing his lips onto mine.

I never thought my first kiss would be against my will with the kid trying to shove his tongue into my mouth and down my neck. So I won't count it as my first kiss, m'kay?

I shoved him away, spitting in disgust. "What is your PROBLEM, Wyatt?"

He grabbed me again. "I've got to have you…I WANT you…now…" Suddenly his eyes turned dark, deranged. The eyes of a madman.

"Get undressed."

I sputtered, wide eyed. "WHAT?"

"You heard me, get undressed! We're making love…RIGHT NOW!"

"N-no way, you sicko, I'm sixteen! I want to stay virgin longer!"

"But Shizuka, I love you!"

"This isn't love, this is obsession and rape!"

Wyatt curled back his lip in a snarl and pinned me to the bed. "Oh, it WILL be rape, Shizuka. In less than a minute, if you don't strip down and do as I say…it WILL resort to rape." (J/N Wyatt and Shizuka are playing the rape game! Wait…EW!) (Z/N: Let's play the rape game, Jordan!)

He was tugging at the lower part of my t-shirt, and I was tugging back, trying to keep him from lifting it up.

What's a girl supposed to do when they're pinned down to the bed by their crazy boyfriend?

Oh, right.

I screamed. As loud as I could.

Deidara's POV

We all heard Shizuka scream. Trust me, that girl's got a pair of lungs! I mean, my ears were ringing!

Yume and Sasori instantly jumped to their feet and sprinted upstairs, so what could I do but follow them and see what was going on. Hidan came too, but that's not important.

…let me tell you, there is NOTHING more awkward and disturbing than walking in on a teenage boy holding down a teenage girl and trying to pull off her clothes. While the girl is screaming and thrashing around.

Yume's eyes widened in horror and she ran forward, trying to jerk Wyatt off of Shizuka while shouting "RAPE! YOU RAPIST! YOU FREAKIN' PERVERT!"

Hidan ran over to help her, but he was shouting "HOLY SHIT! YOU FUCKIN' OROCHIMARU WANNABE, I'M THE ONLY GUY IN THE HOUSE ALLOWED TO RAPE HOT GIRLS!"

Well, no one ever SAID Hidan was sympathetic…

They managed to pull Wyatt off of Shizuka and she ran over, ducking behind Sasori and clutching at his arm, face pale and her body shaking. Of course, then, Hidan made the mistake of releasing Wyatt who turned around, shouted, "you little bitch!" and slapped Yume across the face.

Big mistake.

I don't know why, but something inside of me just plain SNAPPED when I saw Yume stagger backwards with a bruise taking form on her cheek.

I walked over with my fists clenched and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. All I could see was the color red. Red like his blood.

Which would soon be pouring out all over the floor!

Obviously this "tough guy" was strong enough to try and forcibly take his girlfriend's virginity, but not tough enough to stay standing after a ninja punched him in the stomach.

He collapsed forward to his knees, coughing and choking and struggling to breathe. I grabbed him by his neck and starting to strangle him.

Suddenly, I heard Shizuka cry out, "Don't kill him!" I turned to snap at her until I saw that Yume was over by her, trying to calm her down even though her left eye looked like it might swell closed and turn black soon, with a bruise on her face. Sasori was helping.

Because Shizuka was white as a sheet, shaking, and gasping like she was hyperventilating. She was clutching at her chest and clinging to Sasori to keep standing. (J/N Is this qualified as a panic attack? Idk)

That's right; she has necrophobia, doesn't she? Fear of dying and killing? So would that mean she's...?

Holy crap, I just made a girl hysterical with terror. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Either way, though, I didn't want to give up my chance to kill this kid.

He deserved it, didn't he? I mean, what he did was disgusting! Not to mention he HIT Yume…

So I nodded. "How about I just make him a little bloody, yeah? Like, say…out the window?

Shizuka nodded, recovering now that she knew I wasn't gonna murder him. I smirked and walked over, opening the window. Before I got the chance, though, Sasori grabbed him and hauled him to his feet.

"Danna, what are you-"

"Quiet, brat. I think I deserve a little bit of fun too."

Hidan was laughing like a madman by this time as Sasori pulled Wyatt over to the open window…and shoved the jackass out of it. From the second floor.

Don't worry, he landed in the grass outside. He didn't splatter on the pavement-though it would have been amusing to see-he only ended up with the wind knocked out of him.

The look on his face was priceless, actually. Sucking in air, his eyes bugged out, his face pale.

* * *

Shizuka walked over to the window, stared down at him, and shouted: "CONSIDER YOURSELF DUMPED, YOU JERK!"

"So, let me get this straight…" Kagami said, sweatdropping. "Wyatt went insane, kissed you, started going on about you cheating on him with a PUPPET, then tried to rape you, hit Yume, and got beaten up by the blonde girly-man and a red-haired puppet?"

I twitched when she called me a girly man, but decided not to kill her.

Yet.

Yume nodded, holding an ice-pack to her bruised face. "Pretty much. Oh, and Shizuka dumped him, too."

Kagami was quiet for a moment-something uncharacteristic of her-and then declared, grinning:

"Well it's about time you dumped that bastard! C'mon now, we're gonna have a PARTY!"

Kagami is probably the only girl I've ever met who throws a party when her friend breaks up with her boyfriend.

Third Person POV, elsewhere

"Wyatt, my god, what HAPPENED to you?" Courtney shrieked as her cousin staggered into the kitchen.

HE was limping, covered in bruises, and struggling to breathe. He looked at her, grimacing, and said bluntly "Got in a fight. Bruised, maybe fractured, ribs. Twisted ankle. Lots of bruises."

Courtney frowned. Wyatt wasn't normally the violent type. "A fight? Over WHAT?"

"…Shizuka…I wanted to punish her for going out with that guy, the one you told me about…"

Courtney nodded, her eyes narrowed slightly. That cutie still had yet to call her phone number. "So, what happened?

"…Redhead and some blonde guy beat the crap outta me…it also may have been that I hit Yume for getting into it…"

"Serves her right." The brown-eyed girl smirked at the thought of one of Yume's mismatched eyes swollen shut. Maybe the green one.

Wyatt nodded. "Yeah. So now, I have a group of people to get back at."

Things were about to get messy…

**DUN, DUN, DUN! Just because we needed some plot twists and antagonists…muahahahaha…so, yeah, this chapter wasn't COMPLETELY filler. Aside from the football part.**

**HALLEJULAH we now have 100 reviews! 8D I love you all so much for helping me get to here, I never thought I'd have a fanfic this popular! So, I'll also get into the habit of asking YOU people questions after each chapter.**

**This week's question: Should the "Holy skillet" that Kagami owns become an internet meme?**

**In other news, I have a new idea for a NaruHina story I'll be starting after this chapter is up. So if you like the pairing, be sure to check it out! ;D**

**Also, I'm done with school for summer-so I can write more excluding vacations, I'll try to update every Saturday-AND I have a new puppy! Now, review! Otherwise Sasori will throw you out the window!**

**Jordan out.**

_**~And remember kids, WOAH THIS CHAPTER HAD SOME ACTION. In other news, LOLI LOLI LOLI LOLI LOLI LOLI LOLI LOLI LOLI and anorexic shoutas in booty shorts (what is this i dont even)~**_

_**~Anyone wanna help me awaken on DFO ;_;? In game name: ZenithOfEnd. Message me inside teh gaamee ;)~**_


	15. Revelation

**AAAND we're back, for another chapter of AKATSUKITTIES! Now for the warning before the questions answered:**

**WARNING: The following chapter contains some MAJOR MadaRuka (Madara/Haruka) fluff, disturbing campfire songs, energy drink, a cliffhanger ending, and a semi-kidnapping. Reader discretion is advised.**

**…or not. XD Question time!**

**Jashinistgirl1- "The Rape Game" is something Zek found as a like on facebook. It goes like this: "Let's play the rape game!" "No…" "That's the spirit!" It's a bit of a joke since rape is something you shouldn't agree to. So it popped into her head when she added her ZekNotes.**

**icyprincess1-Yes. His family is VERY crazy. It gets crazier later on XD**

**ONWARD TO NARNIA-I mean, ON WITH THE STORY!**

**_~Disclaim_~**

Let me just say this about the week up until Friday night: _It. Freakin'. Sucked._

And if you guessed that Wyatt is the reason, then ding-ding-ding! You are correct. He has successfully managed to mess up school for us.

Last I check, his ankle was only sprained, but he came to school on _crutche_s and with a _cast_ on. Drama queen much?

When everyone asked what was going on, he said he'd caught Shizuka cheating on him. He said that the reason he'd been thrown out a window was because the boy she'd been with had gotten ticked when he'd stepped up.

He also said that Kagami, Haruka and I had refused to tell him simply because we didn't want him to find out Shizuka was planning to break up with him when he found out. Which, admittedly, she had.

He conveniently left out the attempted rape part, though.

Thankfully, though, nobody really believed him except his and Courtney's gang. Wyatt had a reputation, you see.

But seriously, he and his cousin are so close; I'm surprised there's no incest…oh, GOD I hope there's no incest… (Z/N: Let's play incest! You be the cousin and I'm your cousin trying to rape you!)

Though, that would make Wyatt the cheater, and that would be pretty funny. Either way, their gangs were making us miserable, and successfully ruined the entire week for us.

I thought Tobi was going to go Madara and kick some ass when we came home and Haruka was almost crying because one of the kids had been making fun of her "Gothic Lolita" appearance.

I wouldn't blame him. But Kagami had beaten him to the punch. After school, in a dark alley, with the skillet.

So how, you might ask, were we spending Friday night trying to cope with Wyatt ruining our lives at school? That's easy enough.

I'd set up the fire pit we had in our garage-one of those metal things you can build fires in?-and we were having a campfire. At 6:30 p.m. When it still wasn't very dark out. Because we were bored out of our skulls, we didn't want to wait 'til nightfall.

At the time to come to see us in this fanfic, we were sitting around the fire roasting marshmallows, and Kagami had finished traumatizing everyone with the most disturbing horror story ever.

Seriously. Haruka had gotten so scared that she was sitting in Tobi's_ lap_.

Shizuka had moved very close to Sasori, but he was also creeped out so he didn't care.

I was next to Deidara, and he had his arm loosely at my waist. A gesture meant to be calming, but it made me blush all the same.

"Kagami…NEVER tell us that again. EVER. Do you HEAR me?" I warned. "That was…horrible!"

She laughed. "I have one about Michael Jackson too, if you wanna hear-"

Everyone shouted "NO!" in perfect unison, causing Kagami to pout.

"Meaners."

Shizuka was quiet for a while as she took her marshmallow-which she had purposely burned because for some reason she likes the burnt ones better-and grinned suddenly as she made a s'more. Then she started singing creepily. The song was in Japanese, but the lyrics translated like this:

"Flare up and burn it down

"From corner to corner with that Hellfire.

"Don't leave a single trace.

"Burn down even their souls."

By now, Kagami and I had both recognized the song, and joined in singing with her. Hey, it's catchy and we know how to sing it, give me a break!

"Flare up and burn it down.

"Answer my calling right now.

"Burn down those fools with

"A crimson flame."

The Akatsuki member's faces were priceless as we started up the chant that came at this point in the song.

"Santra-ba-dra-winza-na-wonpa-to-rana intrakantera

"Santra-ba-dra-winza-na-wonpa-to-rana intrakantera"

Back to the song. Now EVERYONE was looking very disturbed by us…good! Tobi and Haruka were practically suffocating each other as we continued the song.

"Flare up and burn it down

"From corner to corner with that hellfire.

"Don't leave a single trace.

"Burn down even their souls."

Kagami spoke up the next line, cackling as she did so. The effect was actually pretty good, in all truth.

"Look…! For the sake of my terrible revenge, I'll cast a curse with all my power! I summon thee from the distant earth! Now…COME FORTH!"

I tossed a little bit of gasoline on the fire to make it flare up briefly, and everyone jumped. We started finishing up our marshmallow song.

"Flare up and burn it down

"Answer my calling right now.

"Burn down all these fools with

"A crimson flame."

(J/N…if you know where this whole song is from, say so in your review and you get a cookie and Akatsuki member of your choice.)

When we finished, there was dark silence for a long moment. Deidara was the one who finally spoke up.

"_What the hell was that_? Were you summoning the devil or something, hm?"

Kagami looked at him, perfectly serious. "Yes. He should be here any minute now looking for a sacrifice to appease his hunger."

Deidara was quiet for a moment, then stood up and walked about five feet away from the fire. "I'll just stand over here for a little while then, yeah."

"Oh, get back here you big baby, I was kidding!"

"Kagami may have the creepiest ghost stories, but you_ all_ have the creepiest campfire songs I've ever heard. Not to mention the most annoying," Kakuzu said dryly as we walked back inside at 8:30.

I grinned and started loudly singing 'The Song That Doesn't End.' **"This is the song that doesn't end~ It just goes on and on, my frieennndd~ some people started singing it not knowing what it was! And they will keep on singing it forever just beca-"**

He covered my mouth. "NO." I pouted when he pulled his hand away.

"Meaner. Well, at least you didn't tentacle rape me!" (Z/N: Mmmmmmmm...Urr, just kiddin...erm...)

Everyone stared like I'd just grown another head. "…tentacle rape?"

"Don't ask-wait where'd Kagami go?"

Kagami was already hyper enough from the s'mores and such…so was it possible that maybe she had found…

"OH CRAP WHAT IF SHE FOUD THE ENERGY DRINKS?"

Konan looked at me. "Energy drinks?"

"They make you hyper. Which is the LAST thing that Kagami needs!"

Speak of the devil, guess who just ran out of the kitchen on a freakin' sugar high. None other than our very own: Kagami Hanshin!

"HIIIIIII EVERYOOONNNEEEE!" she squealed. "HAAAAAAAAALLLLOOOOOOO!" (J/N reference to Zetsu's most epic scene in anime XD)

I groaned. "Kagami…how much did you drink of the energy drink? And WHAT?"

"Uh, let's see…I drank a Rockstar, and then about three of those five-hour energy drinks cuz they're small…oh, yeah, and a Monster!"

We're all doomed.

Then she glomped Itachi, giggling. "Hi Itachi-sama!" He stared at her, twitching slightly.

"Kagami, get off of me. NOW."

"Yes sir, Uchiha-sama!"

Itachi is the only person who can control Kagami whether she's on sugar high or not, apparently. I'm okay with that.

Suddenly, a sort of gleam of sanity took form in Kagami's bright blue eyes, and she looked at Tobi…

If she gives him energy drink, I'll kill her with her own skillet.

Actually, no, she didn't. Instead, she tackled him to the ground. "AH! KAGAMI-CHAN! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, DON'T HURT TOBI!"

Haruka stared in shock. "Kagami, what are you DOING?"

Kagami had that same faint, calm sanity in her eyes as she sat on Tobi with her knees pinning his arms to the ground, reaching up and placing her hands on his mask. I knew what she was going to do now.

"Something I should have done when these guys first showed up!"

Tobi was panicking now. After all, if Kagami succeeded, well…Madara's cover would be blown, which wouldn't necessarily-

Oh.

She wants to reveal Madara for who he is because it's his fault that most of the people in the series die, or at least the GOOD characters. His orders, his plan. Not to mention he'd kill Konan with his own two hands.

If she exposed him, things could get ugly.

She started to slowly start pulling off the mask as everyone watched with eager interest. Although Haruka was shouting at her to 'stop, you're making Tobi-kun upset' and stuff like that.

We ignored her.

Kagami would have probably just yanked the mask off, but Tobi was still thrashing around and making it hard. His chin was exposed. Then his mouth. So we could actually watch his lips move as he shouted "No, Kagami-chan, stop it!"

"Just a little more…" She murmured as the mask slid up almost to his nose…

I don't even quite know what happened next. It happened so incredibly fast…

All that I know is that suddenly, a deep voice shouted "I said NO!" and Kagami was facing towards us with her arms twisted behind her back, eyes wide with terror as Tobi adjusted his mask back over his face.

There was a long silence as it fully sank in for everyone what he had just done. Tobi had spoken with Madara's voice, and he had attacked and possibly injured Kagami.

Haruka looked like she was about to pass out or cry. Deidara was wide-eyed and pale with shock, which made sense since he was used to Tobi's annoying, hyper side.

Tobi-or should I say Madara-let go of Kagami's arms, letting her fall forward to the floor before standing up, turning, and walking out of the room.

Haruka followed a minute later.

I didn't stop her; which I was going to regret for quite a while.

Haruka's POV

I can't believe what I just saw. Tobi had used that same deep voice I'd heard him speak in so sexily almost a week ago…on Saturday, I think? I don't remember exactly.

He'd thrown Kagami off of him and pinned her arms back.

If that wasn't proof about his true identity, I don't know what is. But I needed to know for sure.

When I got upstairs, Tobi was in the room he'd taken to sharing with me-actually, he'd slept in the same bed as me to 'protect me from monsters', which was really cute in all truth-and he was opening the window.

"…Tobi?"

He whirled around and stared at me for a moment. When he spoke, his Tobi voice was back and he sounded sad and scared.

"What is Haruka-chan doing here? Haruka shouldn't have followed Tobi…Tobi has been a bad boy…"

I swallowed hard. Here it is, moment of truth.

"Tobi, I need to know…is it true that you're…that you're actually…Madara Uchiha?"

I wanted him to say no. I wanted him to say that I was being silly and that Tobi was Tobi and he'd never be anybody else. I'd even like him to say Obito at this point! (J/N R.I.P. Obito-kun…;n;)

When he spoke again, it was back to his deep voice. "Yes…it's true."

My entire world felt like it was falling apart. I wanted the floor to open up beneath me and I wanted to fall into the empty blackness until I forgot what I had just heard.

Tobi-I mean, Madara-walked forward, walked over to me, and took my hand, placing it against his mask.

"Tobi…I mean, Madara? What are you doing?"

"…take off my mask."

"What? Why…? Why me?"

"…I want you to be the one to take it off, because I want you to be the one to tell me what you think about all of this."

I nodded shakily as I reached up and hooked my fingers beneath the edges of his mask and started to slide it off. The whole time, I expected him to suddenly grab my arm and tell me to stop.

I even expected him to maybe kill me after I saw this. So I kept my eyes closed in case his Sharingan became active. I had to stand on tiptoe since I'm only about 5'1" and he's around 5'7". (J/N I think that's how tall he is…?)

Finally though, the mask slid away from his head and I was standing there with my eyes closed, holding it between my shaking hands.

He spoke up after a moment. "Open your eyes, Haruka. Now."

So I did.

…this is gonna ruin the drama, but _holy crap_ is Madara hot without his mask on!

I don't know if he's really 100 years old or not, but he looked to be only in his twenties. Late twenties. Early thirties at the most.

His hair was still short, black, and spiky, obviously. That was definitely a change from the long haired pictures I'd seen.

There were the faintest lines around his eyes, but they seemed more like stress lines than anything; he still looked young.

His mouth was turned down slightly, a frown that looked sad, like he was scared or just upset about something. His face was pale, probably from wearing his mask all the time. I'm guessing that means he never really gets the sun to color his skin with a tan or a burn.

And his eyes…

Oh, god, his eyes were gorgeous. The Sharingan wasn't active, meaning that they were purely, completely, black. Darker than obsidian. Darker than midnight on a new moon with no starts. Darker than the bottom of the ocean. And they looked so calm and sad, with perfect eyelashes…

You could drown in eyes like that.

He studied me for a moment with those sad eyes and that perfect mouth.

And then he turned away. "I need to leave for a while, Haruka-chan. Just until this whole situation cools down and I won't have to answer questions. I trust you to keep my secret from the other members.

"Itachi already knows, seeing as I'm his elder. And I have a feeling your friends do as well. I'll be back in a few days. Maybe."

No…

He's…leaving?

Madara's POV

…what the heck did I just do?

I showed a teenage girl, the most wide-eyed innocent teenage girl I'd ever met, who I really was.

And I had done it willingly.

Most of the time, if I had ever shown a girl my true identity when they knew me as Tobi, I would kill them directly afterwards. I couldn't make myself kill Haruka though, or even hurt her. Not even a little bit…

As I was about to jump out the window and make a break for it, she grabbed my arm. "Madara-sama, no!"

I stopped in surprise and turned to stare at her. I saw my face reflected in her big violet eyes, those eyes with their childishly wide innocence and their long dark eyelashes.

"You're not leaving," She said stubbornly, still gripping my arm. I could easily have shoved her away and made a break for it, but something told me that wouldn't stop her easily. She'd run after me even though she couldn't move as fast.

If she jumped out the window, she'd hurt herself.

If she got lost in town at night, I didn't want to think about what kind of people might be lurking in the shadows, what those people could do to her.

If her eyes ever lost their light because somebody had hurt her, I'd hunt down whoever it was and tear them limb from limb.

"Haruka…let go."

"No! I'm not letting go and you're not leaving!"

Was she actually giving me orders?

She swallowed hard. "I…I _need_ you, Madara-sama…I only knew you as Tobi, but I want to know who you really are, too!"

I'm not entirely sure why I did what I did next. I guess because it just seemed like the right moment.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close, and kissed her gently.

This time, there was no pause before she started to move her lips against mine, soft and sweet.

She didn't flinch away or tremble this time when I prodded at her lower lip with my tongue. But it still surprised me when she opened her mouth enough for me to slide my tongue inside.

There wasn't really a battle for dominance. She was too innocent for that. But she moaned after a few moments and I found myself smiling slightly at her enjoyment.

…I'm a fucking pedophile, aren't I? (Z/N: Actually...more like the male version of a "cougar"~~ Rawr)

After about twenty seconds, I pulled away so that we could breathe, she was blushing bright red from the whole "tongue" thing.

I didn't want to leave her behind, but if I stayed, I'd have too many questions to answer. I put my hand under her chin and tilted her head back so she looked at me.

"Come with me. Just for a few days, until this all cools down.

To my surprise, she nodded. "Okay."

I had just picked her up bridal-style and was about to jump out the window and run, but just then, I heard Kagami shout "Okay, they've been up there too long, let's go see what's happening!"

Shit. We needed to leave fast. No time to jump

So with that, I held her close and made a swift hand sign. I could just use my usual teleport ability, but I wanted to leave some clues. Namely the smoke from the jutsu.

I left my mask on the floor.

Yume's POV

When we got up to the room, the window was open, Tobi's mask was on the floor, and faint wisps of white smoke from a teleportation technique floated through the air. Neither one of them was anywhere

It was obvious enough what had just happened.

Madara Uchiha had left the building.

And the stupid bastard had taken Haruka with him.

**Dun, dun, dun! Kind of a cliffhanger. And lots of fluff. YOU'D BETTER HAVE ENJOYED THIS. I had to rush because I didn't have time to work on it until this morning…**

**But I like it. ^^ Longest chapter so far!**

**I wrote this with my puppy sleeping in my lap. Which is ironic because the story is about kitties. XD**

**Question of the Week: What do you think should happen to Wyatt by the end of the story? Should he get killed, get shipped to military school…what? XD I'm not picky, just try to make it something possible for this story.**

**Also, if any of you like the pairing NaruHina, be sure to check out my new story "Mismatched", which is a side story to this. It won't be updated as often, but I'd like to see it get some reviews.**

**And remember to review on this story, too! Maybe then YOU'LL get French Kissed by Madara ;D**

_**~And remember kids, what is this I don't even...~**_


	16. What Happens in Vegas, Stays There

**Hello, people, Akatsukitties is updated! Where we last left off, everyone had found out Madara had 'kidnapped' Haruka, and I was laughing at your reviews on how Wyatt should die…er, ahem. Questions:**

**OhMyGeePinkSucksAss-The song is called "England's Devil Summoning Song", from Hetalia: Axis Powers. You can find it on YouTube. And yes, Sephiroth's theme IS epic. *hums along***

**Yuti-chan-Well, actually, I didn't put too much thought in the mask being left behind aside from plot XD But I guess if I put a reason, he would be trying to get the message that he DIDN'T kidnap her, she went willingly when he showed his face…which I don't think worked very well.**

**DeeaE-Sure, feel free to beat him up. *tosses Wyatt to fans for torture* Random fun fact: Wyatt-at least his name and appearance-is based off one of my friends' ex-boyfriends who kind of stalked her for a while after she dumped him. When asking her what Haruka's boyfriend's design should be, she suggested I use Wyatt, so I did. Although the 'real' Wyatt isn't an insane rapist. XD**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

_**~Disclaim~ **_

Out of all of us, I think Hidan and Kagami probably summed up the situation the best.

Hidan: "HOLY FUCKING HELL! Did Tobi fucking kidnap the hyper little Goth bitch?"

Kagami: "I don't believe this! He took off his mask for her and stole her! That pervert! That psycho! That complete bastard!"

Needless to say, we were all pretty ticked off about the situation.

I walked over to Tobi's mask, picking it up off the floor and staring at it. Okay, so he'd kidnapped one of our friends. The most innocent and childish one that he'd seemed to be getting close to. But why would he take off his mask?

Kagami was still cussing and freaking out before Itachi finally spoke up.

"Kagami…calm down."

"How can I possibly calm down when one of my best friends has been _kidnapped_? I mean, for all we know he's gonna kill her or rape her or something…"

"I'm fairly sure Tobi wouldn't do that," Itachi said calmly, and I was kind of puzzled for a second.

Then I remembered. Oh, yeah, Itachi probably knows about Madara. They're related, after all.

Kagami sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I guess so…should we call the cops?"

Shizuka rolled her eyes, going back into sarcasm mode. "Yeah, Kagami, that'll work. 'Hello, Police? Yeah, um, my best friend has just been kidnapped by her crush…what does he look like? I don't know, he usually wears a mask, but he took it off when he stole her. Where does he live? Normally at our friend Yume's house in the form of a kitten. Oh, and by the way, he's a ninja.' _that_ will go down well."

Everyone facepalmed. "Well, gee, thanks for putting it in that useless perspective, Shizuka."

"No problem. Not to mention that Haruka's dad is a police officer. That'd only make it worse."

Deidara looked at her."Who are the 'police' anyways, un?"

"The police are our world's version of the ANBU. Only, they aren't ninjas…but they have guns, tazers, and pepper spray."

"I won't ask what that stuff is, hm."

Kagami finally got sick of our discussion. "I'm going downstairs. I'm going to be in the kitchen. I'm going to be eating cake, and I'm going to want to be left alone," She said, turning and walking downstairs. Kagami was a cake addict. So, yes, there was always leftover cake in our house so that if she felt like eating cake, we wouldn't have to cook any.

My parents are awesome. My sister is, too, when it comes to cooking. Otherwise she's just-as Sasori would say-a brat. (J/N I really do have a little sister…XD I call her brat more than her actual name, we have one of 'those' relations…)

There was an awkward silence…okay, so a gay baby was just born. No big deal, it just means we created somebody awesome. (J/N Yes, I'm anti-homophobia, partly because I don't see the point, and partly because I have a friend who's bisexual, so he gets picked on by the idiots in our grade)

I decided to break the silence. "Well, I guess we'd better get ready for when they come back." I refused to say 'if they come back.'

"For starters, I don't think he can teleport long distances just using that jutsu, so he'll probably come back in through the window. We'll put a bucket of cold water over the window of this room so when he does come back, he'll hit the bucket turn into a kitten. A classic practical joke.

"Second, his mask always seems to stay on his face when he goes from human to kitten and vice versa. So I'll keep the mask with me so we'll know when he shows up. And if they're not back in a week, _then_ we'll call the cops."

I was kind of surprised, in all truth, when the Akatsuki members agreed with me.

Guess I'm just epic that way.

Of course, I also noticed that Itachi had gone downstairs, probably to talk to Kagami or something like that. How sweet.

Itachi's POV

Kagami was right where she said she would be; doing what she said she would be doing.

Translation: She was sitting at the table in the kitchen, eating a slice of cake.

In all truth, I felt kind of bad for her. Finding out your best friend had been kidnapped by Madara Uchiha wasn't something most people would enjoy. Neither would having said Uchiha assist you in murdering your family.

But that's something completely different.

"…Kagami-san." She jolted when I spoke, looking at me with wide eyes for a moment before relaxing and grinning at me.

"Oh, hi, Itachi-sama. Want some cake?"

"No, thank you," I said politely in response, walking over and sitting next to her. She shrugged and took another bite of cake.

We sat in silence for a moment before I decided to speak up again.

"You know about Madara Uchiha." It wasn't a question. She hesitated, and then nodded.

"Hn. Then you can trust me when I put it this way…I believe that Haruka will be fine. He's been getting close to her, and the only way she could know about him is if somebody told her. I can't see him killing her.

"What about raping her?"

"Madara-san is not Wyatt."

Kagami laughed at that comment. "Eh, true enough. None of us saw _that_ coming though, for sure. I'm considering bringing my skillet to school to kill him with next time he makes any of us miserable." (J/N Akatsukitties drinking game: Every time Kagami uses/mentions the skillet, take a shot.) (Z/N: We're not responsible for whatever you do when you're drunk.)

I chuckled at the thought of how very messy that could be. She stared at me.

"…hn?"

"Did you just chuckle?"

"…yes…"

"Haha, yes! I got you to show emotion, Itachi-sama!"

That brought another topic to my mind that I'd been wondering about since day one.

"Kagami-san…why do you call me 'Itachi-sama?' A simple 'Itachi-san' would work just fine, or even just leave off the honorific."

She blushed slightly. "Well, I couldn't just do THAT, Itachi-sama, because I think very highly of you."

That was kind of a surprise. Yes, Kagami was fairly annoying, hyperactive, violent, and clingy, so I should have guessed…heck, I think I was more surprised at her saying it so maturely. Most girls in my lifetime who called me by any honorific other than -san or -kun usually tended to follow me around asking me to be the father of their children.

Thankfully, Kagami hasn't done that…yet. (Z/N: Someone wants to play the rape game!)

Kagami finally just sighed and set down her fork. "What I'm wondering is where Madara and Haruka _are_. I mean, I can just kind of picture them sitting off in the middle of some forest and camping out."

Before I could answer her statement, Yume barged in. "Alright, you two, we are _not_ going to sit around sulking until Haruka comes back!"

Kagami fell out of her chair when the door flew open, and now jumped up, grabbed her skillet (J/N *takes a shot*) and glared at Yume. "Okay, what's the big deal? And if we're not sulking, what ARE we doing?"

Yume grinned in a way that gave me a very bad feeling.

"Simple. First, we're going to play Just Dance 2. Then, we're going to play Truth or Dare. If that doesn't work out, I'd say a match of Spin the Bottle is in order."

"…party games? You expect us to play _party_ _games_ at a time like this?"

"Yep."

"…eh, I'm in. Let's do this thing, sistah!"

I sweatdropped. Any sense of normalcy I'd begun to sense about Kagami had vanished in just thirty second of Yume being in the room.

Although, Kagami's statement that I had been unable to answer nagged at the back of my mind…where _were_ Madara and Haruka?

Haruka's POV

Side-effects of the teleportation jutsu happening when you least expect it and having no chakra include: Drowsiness, migraines, and waking up in a hotel room you've never seen before with a very concerned Ninja sitting on the bed beside you.

"…Madara-sama?" He jumped when I spoke, turning to look at me, his face relaxing slightly.

"Good. You're awake, Haruka-chan."

"Why was I asleep?"

"The teleportation jutsu must have affected you because of your lack of chakra. You were unconscious when we arrived here in this city."

"How did we get into the hotel room?"

"I used a genjutsu on the desk clerk. Not only does she think I actually paid for us to stay at this hotel, but you appeared to be older than 16 in her eyes. At least 24, I believe."

"Sweet, so she didn't see me as a midget." I grinned, sitting up, only to fall back with a migraine. "Oh dear lord…this must be what adults feel like when they get hangovers…"

"That was also part of how I got you in here. I said you had gotten drunk out of your mind and passed out."

I stared at him for a moment. "I'm not sure whether to kiss you or slap you."

Madara laughed. "Then I'll decide for you."

Next thing I knew his lips were crushed against mine and his tongue was in my mouth. I found myself moaning as the muscle flickered across my teeth and brushed along my tonsils and the insides of my cheeks.

One, two, three, four, I declare a tongue war!

Which was exactly what happened…although he won said battle for dominance in less than five seconds.

Stupid ninja tongues.

When the kiss was done, he pulled back, breathing hard to catch his breath-we'd been Frenching for almost half a minute-and grinned at me.

"You still mad?"

"I was mad?"

"I'll take that as a no."

I giggled childishly and sat up, feeling much more clear-headed from the taste of his kiss.

"So any idea where we are? Like, what city we're in or whatever?"

"Well, no, I was hoping you could let me know."

I shrugged and stood up, walking over to the window-well, stumbling since my head was still throbbing-and pulled open the curtains. My jaw dropped open.

After all, there was no mistaking the city outside.

What other place in the United States has casinos, motels, and bars all across the streets? What other place is it perfectly natural to see a pimp smoking a cigarette and smacking some poor prostitute across the face? What other place are there drunk people staggering everywhere while the neon lights color the sidewalks?

Oh, yes, I knew where we were alright.

"…Madara-sama…you brought us to Las Vegas?"

"I guess so…wait, Vegas? I think I heard that city mentioned before in this world by one of your friends in a sort of joke…what was it again? Ah, right."

He smirked at me pervertedly and leaned forward, onyx colored eyes gleaming. He was now practically holding me against the wall.

"I believe it went like this: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Now, I wonder what they meant by that?"

My face must have been the color of blood when I realized what he was implying with his sexy-yet-pervy smirk and his warm breath on my neck.

"We are not having sex, Madara-sama."

His face fell. "What? But-"

"I'm sixteen; I'm not even legally an adult! Heck, I don't even have a driver's license yet! I'm not sleeping with anyone until I'm at _least_ eighteen! And even so, you don't have anything to use for protection!"

"Apparently this hotel is meant and prepared for stuff like this, because I found a box of condoms in one of the bathroom cupboards-"

"MADARA!" Now my face was on fire. "Why are you so desperate to get me to sleep with you?"

"Because I lo…I care about you a lot, and people who care about each other have sex, right? Not to mention I haven't gotten to have any action since I joined Akatsuki, especially not since I have to act as Tobi all the time!"

What was he about to say before changing his statement 'I care about you?' Either way…

"I've said it twice already, and this is the last time: _We. Are. Not. Having. SEX_."

Why is it that he looks so frigging hot when he pouts?

"But Madara is a good boy." He complained, using his Tobi voice.

"Madara is a pervert." I teased, shoving him away from me playfully. "I'm gonna go take a shower." And with that, I stood up and walked towards the bathroom. I _thought_ he would drop the subject…

"Want me to join you in the shower?"

Apparently not.

"MADARA!"

"Gah, I was kidding! You don't have to throw your shoe at me! OW!"

And this just proves that even sexy, powerful shinobi can't stand up to an embarrassed and irritated teenage girl with a shoe.

All I can say to that is: Pwned.

…**I love the end of the chapter. XD Didn't I warn you that I believe Madara is a pervert? Also, yes, there was some smut-when is there not?-but not enough to bump the rating or be qualified as 'lemon.'**

**I do that a lot. I'm kind of scared to write M-rated stuff. If I ever decide I want some lemon in any of my fanfics, it'll be off-screen but heavily implied. That's safe, right?**

**So, yeah. Anyway, that concludes this week's chapter. You'll get to see the epic party games next time. XD Bwahahaha, oh, that's gonna be fun.**

**Question of the week: What are your top five favorite Naruto pairings? I don't care if they're OTP, yaoi, yuri, canon, fanon, or crack. Love triangles are allowed too. Just list them off! Mine are: NaruHina (Totally should be canon!), HidaKonaPain (CUTE!), SasoDei (what's not to love?), SasuSaku (And yet I hate them outside of pairings), and NejiTenten (GIVE TENTEN MORE SCREENTIME, SHE DESERVES IT!)**

**Remember to review, my lovelies! Jordan out.**

_**~And remember kids, HOLY SHIZZLE, GOD FELL DOWN FROM HIS THRONE. *Dragonquest 9 reference*)~**_


	17. Heaven Within Closets and Beds

**I have created a new fanfiction term: Sprite. Sprite means that the scene is more than lime, but not quite lemon. In other words: Tongue wars, implications, and they start stripping down, but it cuts off before it gets graphic, keeping the story rating at 'T'. Chances are, I'll be including 'Sprite' in some of my fanfics later on. Now for questions!**

**Yuti-chan: You kidding me? Of course she knows! And after this chapter…well, you'll see what I mean. ;)**

**Icyprincess1-Do ANY guys understand that? Because none of the ones I know do…**

**Hope you all like fluff, because this chapter has a TON of it. Holy crap…I just noticed that this is my longest chapter yet. O_O YOU'D BETTER LOVE ME FOR IT!**

_**~Eh, I'm just gonna say one last disclaimer cuz I dun feel like typing one word anymoar...so...DISCLAIM FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTERS)**_

There is nothing more embarrassing than playing Just Dance 2 with a bunch of men staring at you.

Unless of course, those men are a group of S-Ranked Shinobi.

Then, yeah, that's a lot more embarrassing.

I discovered that particular truth when trying to show the Akatsuki members how to play by dancing to "It's Raining Men" as best as I could. Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan were practically drooling since some of the moves are…suggestive?

Just play the darn game and you'll see what I mean.

After that little incident, I did manage to get my revenge, though. For example, Sasori, Deidara, Kagami, and Shizuka were forced to "Walk Like An Egyptian."

At the last pose-where you have to stand on one leg with the other leg up and bent at the knee with your hands styled into that 'Egyptian' pose-only Sasori and Deidara held it. Kagami and Shizuka both fell over.

Heck, the only reason any of us got good scores is because those from our world know how to play, and the Akatsuki members have mad ninja skillz.

We went on with that crazy game for quite a while, but the "Grand Finale" was probably the best…Hidan and Kakuzu dancing to:

"Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend!"

Needless to say, Kagami was laughing her butt off. I was filming it, and we had two very pissed off zombies glaring at us afterwards. I love my life.

"Now for the Truth or Dare fest!" Shizuka declared dramatically, flopping out on the floor. "Who wants to go first?"

There was a pause.

"No one?"

"It's not that, it's just…how do you play Truth or Dare?" Sasori asked awkwardly. I stifled my laughter at how freaking puzzled the Akatsuki members looked.

Kagami sighed. "Ugh…okay. How to play Truth or Dare. Someone asks the question 'Truth or Dare?' You then select either Truth or Dare. If you pick truth, you have to answer a question about yourself…_truthfully_. And if you pick Dare, you have to do a dare. Get it?"

They got it.

"Good! Okay, um, I'll go first. Hidan! Truth or dare?"

Hidan gave Kagami a skeptical look before answering "truth."

"Truth? Dang, I wanted to dare you to kiss Kakuzu…eh, oh well. So, Hidan, how old are you? Like, how old would you be if you weren't immortal and didn't age? Because silver is NOT a normal hair color for a man in his twenties!"

"What? I'm twenty-fucking-two!"

"Liar! That's the age you're stuck at cuz you're immortal! How old would you be if you aged?"

Everyone looked at Hidan curiously, obviously wondering the immortal's age as well. Hidan turned red and mumbled something under his breath. Kagami grinned.

"Whaaaat?"

A louder mumble.

"I can't hear you~"

"I SAID I'M EIGHTY-FUCKING-SEVEN!" Hidan finally burst out, his face blood-red with embarrassment, his eyes blazing. (J/N Didn't see that coming, did ya? XD) (Z/N: JEBUS CHIS. HOLY CHIZ. This is totally madness. Nope, not gonna add the meme part. Nope. Nuh-uh. Y U NO ACCEPT JUST MADNESS.)

The room was dead quiet for a long moment before Kagami broke that silence.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EIGHTY-SEVEN? SERIOUSLY? Oh, WOW! Hey, Kakuzu, you're not the only old geezer in Akatsuki anymore! HAHAHA!"

Well, Tobi is also technically an 'old geezer' but bad things would happen to good people if we told the truth about that.

Well, the Akatsuki aren't "good people" but you get my point. It would get messy.

So, after we all got over our hysterical laughter about Hidan's age, the game resumed. My turn.

"Shizuka, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to get your 'book' and show everybody your special talent."

Shizuka blinked, her eyes widening ever so slightly when she realized what I meant. But she did what I said anyway. Insert evil laugh here.

See, in case you're wondering about the 'special talent' thing, I'll put it as bluntly as I can: Shizuka is an _amazing_ artist, a fact she gets shy about.

If you compliment her, she starts getting all modest and saying she's not that good. If you insult her, she'll attempt to murder you with the object closest to her hands at that time.

Remind me to tell you about 'The Great Spatula Incident' at some time. It's hilarious.

Shizuka walked back in with her sketchbook-one of her many, this is one she actually hasn't filled quiet yet-and set it down on the floor in front of us. I grinned.

"Flip it open to a page." She hesitated, but did just that.

I'll describe Shizuka's drawings as best as I can: They are incredibly detailed. Like, if they were any more detailed, they'd either be traces or photographs. Most of them are in black and white, but she colors perfectly when she actually _does_ add color. A lot of them are anime-style, but she can draw realistic on rare occasions.

Yeah, she's good. Even our two artistic Akatsuki members seemed to be interested by this.

Sasori actually reached out and tilted the sketchbook so he could see the picture better. It was a simple drawing of three wolves standing in a forest, peering out from the trees. It wasn't colored in, but it was still so _real_.

"This is very good, Shizuka," Sasori stated, causing everyone to think the same shocked thought: did he seriously compliment somebody else's art?

Shizuka instantly blushed a light shade of red and started protesting. "It's not THAT good, really. It's just something I did when I was bored after watching Wolf's Rain and I felt like drawing wolves, that's all. And if you really look, the shading is awful. There's not really any value at all." (J/N I love artistic terms. And value…'tis my enemy. *sucks at value*)

Actually, the shading and lighting effects were right on the dot.

Sasori raised one eyebrow and glanced back down at the picture. "Really? It looks perfect to me. And you say it's awful? Really, now. Have you _seen_ Deidara's art?"

"OI! Danna, what the heck?" Deidara shouted, but Sasori ignored him.

"Let's say it's my turn now. Shizuka, truth or dare?"

"…truth?"

"Alright, good. My question is: what is your opinion on what true art is?"

Oh, crap, Shizuka is gonna dig her own grave no matter how she responds. Be careful, Zuka-chan! (J/N Yes, I call Shizuka 'Zuka-chan' as a nickname. XD)

Shizuka seemed to sense that, so she didn't really react for a moment, thinking her answer over. Everyone was watching her intently, particularly Sasori and Deidara. They were both waiting to hear her response…

Finally, she spoke. Hesitantly at first, then more firmly. "I guess that if I have an opinion, it would have to be that art is the display of the artist's emotions and personality. Such as, in an example, if I try drawing while I'm depressed about something, my pictures are typically darker in theme and sadder, with no color. When I'm excited or happy, they're more light-hearted and colorful."

While Sasori and Deidara thought that over, Kisame decided it was his turn to ask Truth or Dare. "Konan, truth or dare?"

'_DEAR LORD, KONAN, PICK TRUTH! IF YOU HAVE ANY INTELLIGENCE AT ALL, YOU WILL NOT PICK DARE!' _Was the thought in my mind.

My telepathy must have worked, because Konan paused, then said hesitantly "Um…truth, I guess."

Kisame blinked-my guess is that he'd wanted to dare her to strip for all the men's fanservice-but then grinned his shark grin and said: "Have you and Pain ever had sex?" (Z/N: THE MOMENT OF TRUTH)

The room was perfectly quiet as we waited. Aside from the crickets chirping…oh, wait, that was only in my head.

Konan was turning red and Pain looked embarrassed. Kagami giggled. "You gotta tell the truth, Konan! Otherwise you need to do a dare!"

Silence. Itachi, surprisingly, decided to comment. "Konan, what about on Pain's birthday last year when you both got drunk and-"

"You have no proof of that, Itachi, you were already passed out! Honestly, you have the worst alcohol tolerance that I've ever seen…"

"Hn."

"Well, bitch, answer the fucking question! Did you and Pain screw each other or not?"

"…maybe…once? But we were both drunk; we didn't know what happened until the next morning! It doesn't count!"

That didn't matter to us. We were all way too busy laughing our ass off at Konan's confession. "Oh, wow, I wish I'd known this sooner, yeah! I could've blackmailed you guys!"

When everyone recovered, Shizuka decided to get her revenge on poor, poor me. "So, Yume, truth or dare?"

"Dare."…I didn't realize what a bad choice that was until it was already too late. Shizuka had that evil grin on her face as she spoke up.

"Alright, then. I dare you to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Deidara."

…crap.

Haruka's POV (Ha ha, building suspense :P)

9:30 at Las Vegas is normally when the people go wild at night. But instead of sneaking into casinos, I was lying down in the hotel room Madara had gotten us into, curled up on the bed sideways so I was facing the sexy ninja himself.

My hair was still slightly damp from my shower, and the black curtain fell forward to partially cover my face. No matter how many times I tried to brush it aside, it always fell forward and covered my vision once more.

I heard Madara chuckle as he reached out and brushed my hair back out of my face, tucking it behind my ear so it stopped slipping. But not before he tugged a few strands loose and held them close to his face, causing me to blush.

"Mmm…why does your hair smell like lilies all the time?"

"I dunno…I guess it's just the shampoo I use. Lilies are my favorite flower." This is an ironic fact, since my last name is Shiroyuri… (J/N 'Shiroyuri' roughly translates to 'Black Lily.' So Haruka Shiroyuri means 'Distant Black Lily'.)

Madara nodded and dropped his hand, resting his fingers against my cheek. I was trying to avoid the urge to drool since he wasn't wearing any shirt at all. Thankfully he still had pants, though…that would've been more than I could handle.

Seriously. My gravestone would read: "Here lies Haruka, died of blood loss from seeing a sexy shirtless guy and getting a nosebleed."

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating…or maybe I'm not. (Z/N: Or maybe you are, or maybe you're not, OR you're- *****shot*)

"Hey, Madara-sama…"

"Hm?"

"I'm guessing you've met a lot of girls, right? Before me?"

"Yes…"

"And you said that I'm the only one you've really cared about?"

"What are you getting at?"

"Well…WHY? There are lots more girls than me, and lots of them are prettier, too. I mean, I look like a little kid, and I hardly have any curves. I'm immature, childish, and completely clueless most of the time, and I dress like a Gothic Lolita."

He studied me a moment with those beautiful black eyes before speaking up poetically. "You don't care about a girl because of how she looks. You care about her because she sings a song only you can understand." He chuckled. "That doesn't mean you're not beautiful, of course." **(1)**

I blushed as he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "Besides, there are some other things I can think of as well."

"What's that?"

"You're the first girl who hasn't feared or hated me when you found out who I was. You don't throw yourself at me, nor do you avoid me. And you have, by far, the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. Such a deep purple and with such long eyelashes…lovely."

My face turned even redder. "So I take it you'll stop with the sexual innuendos now?"

"Maybe. You sure you don't want to-"

"No. We're not doing that."

"But-"

"No."

"But Madara is-"

"Still a pervert."

"Godammit"

"Don't cuss, Madara-sama, it's not nice!" I tapped his nose like I was reprimanding a cat, and he crossed his eyes to look at my finger as I did so. It looked so hilarious that I had to laugh before yawning. Dang I was tired…

Madara noticed. "Here. Go to sleep."

"You'll be here?"

"Of course! Madara needs to protect Haruka-chan from the monsters!" He said cheerfully in his Tobi voice, making me laugh again. He smirked and leaned forward; playfully licking my neck and making me squeak and shove him away. (J/N Please, no Vampire Knight jokes about the neck-licking. Ever.) (Z/N: Please no vampire jokes in general. Jebus Chis, please none!)

"Don't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm pretty sure Orochimaru does something similar to Sasuke. (Z/N: I got a really suggestive and really disturbing image. I shouldn't say it out loud. Or imagine it again. Ever. Madness is all I can tell you.)

"What-? Now that's just plain mean."

I grinned at him smugly. "You brought it on yourself." I closed my eyes and snuggled closer to him, feeling him wrapping his arms around me so I was pressed against his shirtless chest. I could hear his heartbeat and feel his breathing.

After a pause, I hear him speak up again. "Haruka…there's another reason I like having you close to me."

"Hm…?"

"It's because, in all my one hundred years of living, you're the only girl who I've actually started to fall in love with."

Actually, the only reason I got any sleep at all that night was because I passed out from his confession.

Yume's POV

So here I am. Locked in a closet. In the dark. With Deidara…

We just kind of hung out awkwardly for a minute or two before the blonde terrorist finally spoke up.

"Hey, Yume…I've been wondering, un. How come your hair is purple and Shizuka's hair is green? Those colors aren't very natural for your world."

Well, that was an easy question to answer. "Well, on my twelfth birthday, we dyed our hair because we thought it would be a smart idea…it wasn't. The dye was apparently a really weird kind because it went all the way down to the roots. Now we can't grow it out, and no amount of shampoo gets rid of it." (J/N I dunno if there's really hair dye like this, but I think it could possibly happen…)

"Really? Huh…so what color was your hair originally?"

"I was a brunette. Shizuka had kind of strawberry-blonde hair, same as her brother." (J/N See chapter 7)

I think Deidara nodded. It was hard to tell because of the dark.

"You know, I can't really picture you with brown hair, un. Purple goes much better with your eyes, yeah."

Well, seeing as I have one blue eye and one green eye, I guess that freaky purple hair WOULD go better with my freaky mismatched eyes. All I said was "I looked like my dad before I dyed it. Me and my sister both have his eyes, but she's got honey-blonde hair."

"Huh…you have a sister? Younger or older?"

"Younger."

"How old is she, hm?"

"Thirteen." I was about four years older than her.

"What's her name?"

"Naomi. What is this, interrogation?"

"No, we just haven't had many chances to talk, so I'm trying to learn some more stuff about you, un."

"…are you flirting with me?"

"Un? Well, maybe a little…"

My face started to burn. I couldn't believe this…Deidara, the anime character I've been in love with since day one, was FLIRTING with me.

This is a dream come true.

"So what exactly are we supposed to do now, Yume-chan?"

"I'm not exactly sure, I've never really played this game before…do you have any ideas?"

"Well, I do have one…" He started. Next thing I know, his ninja skills activated and he had me pinned to the wall by my shoulders so that I couldn't wriggle away.

I could tell he leaned forward because I could feel his warm breath in my ear as he spoke softly, and sexily. "We could do this, yeah."

His breathing shifted position now in front of me. Our faces were inches apart, and the gap was closing.

His breath smelled like peppermint for some weird reason…

I closed my eyes and relaxed, waiting for my first kiss to be initiated…almost there…only a few centimeters…

And of course, that's when Kagami yanks open the door and shouts "Time's up!" And completely ruins the moment. Deidara jerked backwards in surprise, meaning that I didn't get my kiss. This left me feeling irritated, flustered, and wondering…

What the heck just happened? (Z/N: You've just been... *****puts on sunglasses* DENIED.

Everyone: YEAHHHH!)

Timeskip: About 45 minutes later, Kagami's POV

It was past ten o'clock at night, and we were all effing tired. There's no other way to put it. Plus, one can only play Truth or Dare for so long before growing bored.

Although I'm disappointed that I never got to make Hidan and Kakuzu kiss…le sigh. Those zombies are a lot more intelligent than the anime makes them out to be, or at least smart enough to not let me dare them…

So we all went our own ways to go home and pass out until morning, mentally praying that Haruka was alright.

"Hey, Itachi-sama, is there anywhere in specific you want to sleep tonight?" I asked, glancing at the Uchiha, a plan taking form in my mind.

Itachi glanced at me. "Hn? No, I don't really care where I sleep."

Haha! He fell into my trap! "Oh, I see."

After we got back to my house and I chased Hidan and Kisame into their own rooms, I put my plan into action. After Itachi and I had both changed-well, Itachi just pulled off his shirt and let his hair hang loose…insert nosebleed here-I flopped down on the bed. He gave me a curious look.

"So I'm on the floor tonight?"

"Nope! You're sleeping with me!...well, in the same bed as me. We're not…you know…" My face turned red. Itachi blinked, seeming surprised, but he walked over and lay down next to me nonetheless.

OMFJ he is sexy like that. Lying down, shirtless, hair hanging loose in his face…

This is not the time to fangirl, Kagami.

"So…good night then, Itachi-sama?"

"Good night, Kagami-chan."

Deidara's POV

Even after Yume and Shizuka were both asleep and Sasori was leaning back in his corner, I couldn't get to sleep. My mind was on two things and I couldn't stop shifting positions.

My first thought: Why the hell did Kagami have to be cruel enough to interrupt me just as I was about to kiss her? I mean, come _on_, it was obvious that Yume had wanted me too!

My second thought: Would Yume be mad if I crawled into her bed tonight?

After another five minutes of tossing and turning, wondering what the answer to my second question would be, Danna took matters into his own hands.

"Make up your mind, brat, I'm getting dizzy watching you." He growled, glaring at me.

Before I could ask what he meant, pale blue chakra threads extended from his fingers, and then I was getting to my feet against my will and crawling into the bed beside Yume.

"Danna, what are you doing, un?" I hissed.

"Helping you out." He responded with a bored smirk, twitching his finger so that my arms wrapped around Yume's waist and pulled her close to me. She mumbled something in her sleep, rolling over so she was facing me. But she didn't wake up.

She's so cute…

Even cuter like this, with her purple hair hanging loose down her back, wavy strands falling into her face. I smiled slightly and tucked a stray strand back behind her ear.

I do believe I might get some sleep tonight after all….

(**1) This quote is from a book in the "Nightworld" series called 'Secret Vampire.' I loved it so much, I had to add it in.**

**Well, now, wasn't that a fun chapter, folks? XD I enjoyed it, I know that much. OMG Deidara is falling for Yume! Shizuka knows how to draw! Madara semi-confessed to Haruka! Kagami is sleeping with Itachi! (Not like that, you perverts…) And I have a new fanfiction term!**

**Question Of the week: What songs do you think describe the pairings (ItaKaga, MadaRuka, DeiYume, and SasoShiz) best? I think it's like this:**

**DeiYume-"Sparks Fly" by Taylor Swift or "Firework" by Katy Perry (Both can work)  
MadaRuka-"Fall To Pieces" by Avril Lavigne  
ItaKaga-"Whispers In The Dark" by Skillet  
SasoShiz-"Marionette" by Miku Hatsune (Not the heavy metal version, I mean the lighter, happier one)**

**Well, that's all for this week's update, peoples! Next chapter, Haruka and Madara will return home! Now remember to review, my readers, or else…um…idk what to threaten you with this week.**

_**~And remember kids, THIS IS SPARTA~**_

_**~Everyone: YEAHHHHH~**_


	18. Filler of Wetness

**As I write this chapter, my BFF Kennedy-the creator of Haruka-is reading over my shoulder. *looks at her* now she's cuddling my puppy… So, yeah. Enjoy that thought. ****:O ****Question time:  
**

**Ryuu22-HIII! *waves back* Lol, I agree. Wolf's Rain was the second anime I ever watched and finished, after Fruit's Basket.  
**

**Anake14-Haha, good to know I'm not COMPLETELY insane on my thoughts of that hair dye. Glad to see you liked the chapter. :3 And yes, I have had that problem, although usually it's because my friends play with my ponytail from behind me…  
**

**Xakia-I completely made that up. He's 22, I just think he'd technically be older because of his immortality.**

Madara's POV, Wednesday of the next week

We'd been in Las Vegas close to a week by this time. Something I noted when I opened my eyes at about 8:30 in the morning ; I was lying in the bed of the hotel room, obviously. Haruka was curled up beside me with her head on my chest. My arms were around her, almost protectively.

She really did look like a child when she slept. A very young child, but she was still cute. (J/N PEDOPHILE!)

Not to mention that it was probably time to head back to Yume's house in LA… and I still never got any action. Goddammit.

As though she sensed my thoughts, Haruka opened her eyes and looked up at me. "Morning, Madara-sama." She smiled sleepily at me. I smiled back.

"Morning, Haruka-chan."

She stretched out slightly, and I tried to catch a glimpse up her shirt when the bottom part rose up slightly, just enough to show her navel. She shoved me away. "Pervert."

"Give me a break, a man has needs!"

"So, buy some porn or something! We're in Vegas, it's possible!"

"But you can't make love with porn…"

"…ew. That's just gross." I chuckled when she wrinkled her nose and glared at me. I laughed even harder when she pouted at my laughter. After a few minutes of that, I stood up and slid out of the bed, grabbing my shirt and tugging it on.

"C'mon, Haruka. It's been about five days. I think it's cooled down by now…we can head home."

Although she'd enjoyed our time in Vegas, Haruka still perked up brightly at the thought of going back to Yume's house and seeing her friends again. That's when I thought of something.

"Hey, Haruka, how come you never spend time at your own house? Don't your parents worry?"

"Nah. My dad's a police officer, so he's gone a lot of the time, and my mom's a dentist, so that keeps her busy. My half-sister is busy almost all the time."

"Half-sister…?"

"Yeah, Tori. We had the same mom, but different dads. And no, my mom was _not_ cheating on my dad. She was divorced from another guy before she met him." I nodded at that. (J/N Tori will have a minor role in a chapter later on, BTW.)

"Hey, wait…how come you have a Japanese name like your friends, but Tori's name is 'American' or whatever?"

"Japanese dad, American mom. At least that's how it is for me."

I wasn't going to ask. Instead, I waited while Haruka got changed and cleaned up in the bathroom before she ran back out, where I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and made a hand-sign. "Ready?"

"Ready."

I didn't teleport us all the way into that exact room, simply because I wanted to make sure nobody was in that room when we got there. I didn't have my mask on, after all. Instead, we arrive at the area of the park we'd played "football" in that one time.

I had to wait half an hour for Haruka to wake up. I need to figure out a way to erase the effects of teleporting people that don't have chakra…

When she recovered, I smirked at her. "So, Haruka, would you like a piggyback ride, or do I need to carry you?"

Her cheeks turned pink. "Piggyback ride, I guess."

I nodded and turned around, bending over so that she could jump onto my back, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders. I used my own arms to support her a bit more, and then I started running.

It's no exaggeration that I'm faster than pretty much all of the other Akatsuki members. Uchiha Madara is no slowpoke.  
We were at the house in about ten minutes. I was about to open up the door and walk in, but that would be bad. Even as kittens, the organization would know my face. So instead, I moved over so we were just outside and below the window to the room Haruka and I shared, and jumped.

A normal person would have failed horribly at pulling open the window and ducking inside with a teenage girl on his back. Probably even your average shinobi would have failed. But I'm not a normal shinobi, so I did just fine.

…until I got inside and a bucket of freezing cold water splashed all over Haruka and I. Of course, she was simply standing there soaked; I was a kitten.  
At least we'd gotten inside…otherwise, Haruka would be lying broken on the ground and there would be nothing I could do.

…either way, this still sucked. Not to mention that my mask was nowhere in the room. I looked at her, trying to say that we should stay here for a while, but all that she could hear was "Meow."

Haruka blinked. "Oh…hang on a second, Madara-sama!" she jumped up and pulled her laptop out of the closet, turning it on. She clicked a few things, then opened a program called Microsoft Word. "You can try typing what you wanna say!"

I nodded and did just that…which was awkward because I was a kitten, and as such, had to use my paws and nose to type. The message I wrote was: We should stay upstairs until your friends are home from school. Keep the door closed. We'll stay quiet.

She agreed, picking me up and holding me in her lap.

Now all we had to do was wait…

Kagami's POV

My day took a turn for the worst around second period-Biology-when it started and Yume walked in. She sat in her chair next to me, and then said softly

"Tobi's mask isn't in my locker."

"What?"

"Either somebody took it, or Madara is back home in his kitten form. Which means Haruka is back too."

I thought about that, and then nodded. "Guess we know what we're doing after school, huh?"

"Yep."

This was probably the longest day of my life. We told Shizuka at lunch, and she looked freaked out, to say the least, and it didn't help that Wyatt had practically been stalking her lately.

I'm gonna kill that kid one of these days.

Finally, last period History. Normally this class is kind of fun, since our teacher is a total clown who came to school dressed as Christopher Columbus one time, but I was just watching the clock, counting the seconds.

Five…four…three…two…one…

BRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGG!

Shizuka, Yume, and I were out the door and running for her house like a shot out of a cannon. BANG! Super speed!

Surprisingly, it didn't take all that long to get to the house. About five minutes, seeing as we'd been running as fast as possible…of course, this also meant that when we got there, we were collapsed on the pavement trying to breathe for three more minutes.

While Yume and Shizuka started poofing the other Akatsuki members back from kittens to people, I went up to Haruka's room and flung open the door.  
There she was, sitting on the bed with a black kitten that had an orange face sitting in her lap. Naturally, I had mixed feelings about this.

I was angry because Madara had KIDNAPPED her, but she was cuddling him close.

I was relieved that she was not hurt and appeared to still be virgin.

I was confused because she was looking so innocent, like it was no big deal. So, I reacted accordingly.

"HOLY CRAP! HARUKA YOU'RE BACK!" I glomped her, causing her to shriek in surprise.

"Kagami…get off! You're squishing me, and Tobi!"

"Don't care. The son of a bitch deserves it for kidnapping you."

"Kidnapping…?" Now she looked confused. I turned and looked at 'Tobi', who was giving me kitten eyes. Right, like THAT'LL work.

"And as for you…" I reached out and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, walking over to the window. "See how well you survive a two story drop as a kitten, huh, 'Tobi?'"

He started hissing and thrashing around, fully aware that I intended to drop him out the window. "You deserve it, you know. Kidnapping our friend like that…I swear, if it turns out you hurt her in any way, I will personally-"

"Kagami-chan, cut it out!" shouted Haruka. I turned and stared at her. She'd jumped to her feet with her fists clenched, her eyes blazing. "Put. Him. Down."

"You want me to drop him?" I moved closer to the window. Her eyes widened.

"NO! I meant, put him down inside…on the floor…or something like that!"

I was confused. "But…why? He kidnapped you, Haruka-"

"He didn't kidnap me, I went with him…of my own free will! I WANTED to go with him!"

Now I was REALLY confused, not to mention pissed off. "You went with-? You WENT with that mofo? Honestly, didn't you think we'd be WORRIED? Didn't you think about us?"

"Obviously! That's why we left, so he wouldn't have to answer questions about when he got angry and pinned you down like that…"  
Silence.

"So he was thinking of himself."

"If he was, would he have told me the truth of who he really was?"

Now THAT was definitely a shocker. _'He…TOLD her?'_

Haruka was angry. Normally when she's angry, it just looks like if a little kid was throwing a tantrum. Her eyes would start tearing up and she'd scream. But now she just looked…ticked off beyond imagining. And her fists were still clenched.

Not wanting to get my jaw broken, I put Tobi back down on the floor. He ran over to Haruka and she picked him up, cuddling him against her chest. My temper was cooling down.

Okay, so one of my best friends is in love with the main villain of the series. Apparently he loves her. Does that make it pedophilia? I dunno. But I can handle this…I think…maybe.

"Okay…fine. I'm sorry, alright? Just…never again. If you run away again, I will kill you with the skillet.

Haruka nodded, flinching at the threat. Muahahaha, nobody messes with the skillet! "C'mon, you'd better go turn Tobi back to normal, even if he seems to be enjoying it." Tobi flattened his ears and hissed. "Perverted kitty. See ya downstairs?"

Haruka nodded. I turned and headed out the door, while promising myself…if Madara hurt my friends, his secret wouldn't be secret.

Yume's POV

Kagami coming downstairs without Tobi and Haruka was certainly worrisome. "Hey, Kagami, where're Haruka and Tobi?"

"I threw Tobi out the window, then killed Haruka and ate her liver."

After a shocked silence, she quickly said, "Kidding!" And we could relax. "she's turning Tobi back to human form."

About a minute later, Haruka came back downstairs-blushing, but none worse for wear-followed by a cheerful masked man. Most everyone was gonna let it slide-

"Hey, Tobi, why'd you run off with her, un? That doesn't seem like a very 'good boy' thing to do, yeah."

…note that I said MOST everyone.

Tobi instantly glomped Deidara. "TOBI'S SORRY, SENPAI!"

"AGH! Tobi, get off!"

"Ah, sorry!"

"And stop apologizing."

"Sorry, Senpai, Tobi will-ah! Sorry, tobi apologized again!"

"Tobi…"

"Sorry!"

"TOBI!"

And things were more or less back to normal, with Deidara strangling Tobi and the rest of us just watching like it was perfectly natural.

"So, Haruka, where did you guys go?" Shizuka asked, grinning. Haruka blushed.

"Um…Las Vegas."

Needless to say, there was a bit of a riot as Haruka explained the situation…oh, yeah, things were COMPLETELY normal.

Then again, my life has never been normal, now, has it?

**...short chapter that I hate. It's filler. The plot moves along next chapter, m'kay? Deal with it. I'm tired.  
**

**ON the bright side, I'm going to a demolition derby ****:D ****Fun fun, watching cars crush each other.  
**

**QUESTION OF THE WEEK: which of the girls is your favorite? Kagami, Yume, Shizuka, or Haruka? Personally, I like them all, even though two of them aren't even 'officially' my OCs. XD  
**

**Remember to review, or Kagami will throw you out the window!  
**

**Jordan out.**

**_-IMPORTANT MESSAGE, KIDS: I, the uploader and editor, Zek, am in Turkey. Since I wont have much time on my hands to get on the computer to edit and upload, the updates will be more erratic. This will only be for 4.7 weeks though so at least 5 chapters until we go back to the regular upload time, Saturday. Sorry for the trouble. There maybe mistakes in editing I did as well because I have to do this fast.-_**

**_-And remember kids, grinding is a horrible...horrible thing in P3...you deserve a metal just for going through 200 floors...-_**


	19. Art

**So, last chapter-as mentioned-was filler. This chapter, we're back on track, with more fluff than ever! ****Oh, warning: Slight OOC with Deidara, well, it COULD be considered OOC…I think.**

**Yuti-chan: Kagami's kind of impulsive that way. XD And the bucket is from chapter 16, if you check. Yume suggested putting a bucket of water above the window so that when they came back, it'd turn Madara back into a kitten.**

**Xakia: Oh, Zek knows about APH all right…Russia is her one true love. XD I like it too, but I can never find any dubbed episodes past 10…grrrrr…**

**READ ON, LOVELIES!**

_**-Russia ;_; -**_

Third Person POV

Saturday morning, roughly 9 A.M, life was perfectly normal. The Akatsuki had been there for almost one month out of the four months Yume's parents would be gone.

At the said purple-haired girl's house, not a creature was stirring, not even a-never mind (Z/N: *puts away gun*). It was nine in the morning, and everyone was still sleeping…except Sasori, but he _never_sleeps.

Deidara was curled up beside Yume in her bed, where he'd taken to spending the nights. Climbing in after she fell asleep and getting back on the floor before she woke up so that she wouldn't feel awkward or upset.

Shizuka was face down in the pillow on the top bunk of the bed, and Sasori was leaning back against the wall in his corner with his eyes closed, relaxing and enjoying the quiet that he knew would end later.

Haruka and Tobi were in their room with the door shut and locked since Tobi didn't want anyone to see his face, as he slept without his mask. If anybody asked why the door was locked, they'd agreed to say that it was to keep out the monsters as an excuse. Currently, they were wrapped so close to each other, you couldn't tell which one was which. Both of them having black hair didn't help either.

Yes, things were all quiet and calm at Yume's house. However, Kagami's house was a very different story…

Kagami was first to wake up from her spot on the floor and decided that because she was awake, why should anyone else sleep?

…her way of waking them up, you ask?

Running up and down the hall, banging her skillet with a spoon, and shouting "HALLEJULAH IT'S SATURDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Itachi was a heavy sleeper-a trait shared by all the members of his Clan-and as such, did not wake up from Kagami's commotion. Kakuzu was irritated, but otherwise couldn't care less. Kisame groaned and shoved his face back in the pillow. Hidan, however…

"KAKUZU! WHERE'S THAT BLONDE BITCH?" The immortal shouted from his room at Kakuzu down the hall.

"You mean Deidara? Over at Yume's, I'd assume…"

"NOT THAT ONE, THE OTHER ONE! KAGAMI! WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE? I'M GONNA SACRIFICE HER FUCKING ASS TO JASHIN!"

Kagami opened Hidan's door, smiling sweetly and walking back into the room while tapping her skillet against her hand.

"I'm sorry, Hidan, what was that?"

"OH SHIT!"

…you can see the difference between Kagami's Saturday mornings and Yume's Saturday mornings.

Deidara's POV

It was actually pretty funny to see how beat up Hidan was when Kagami came in with Itachi, Kakuzu, and Kisame. Kakuzu had to actually DRAG him…because he was out cold.

Kagami was grinning ear to ear, proud of herself for his injuries, which consisted of: an egg-sized lump on his head, a bloody nose that might be broken, a black eye, and many more violent injuries including…

Shizuka blinked. "Kagami…are those BITE MARKS on his arm?" (Z/N: Canniblism is frowned upon in this society… first born babies don't count… )

"So what if they are?"

"…you bit him?"

"Hey, he said 'bite me!' I was just doing what he wanted!"

I started laughing. "That idiot honestly hasn't figured out that you would bite him by now, un? I'm starting to think he's even stupider than Tobi, yeah!" (J/N Well, seeing as Tobi is Madara-*shot*)

"SENPAI!"

"Shut up, Tobi, you know it's true."

How can Haruka STAND that little idiot?

Probably since she's also kind of childish and hyper, although she's not quite as irritating.

And a heck of a lot smarter.

But enough of that. See, things don't really get interesting until later. About 11:00 a.m., if you want me to be specific.

At that time, the girls were showing us some anime called "Ouran High School Host Club", and it didn't take long for the annoyance to set in.

First off, the fact that 'Senpai' was the most used honorific in the 'Club'. That alone was enough to make me want to stab something.

Second, pretty much every character on that show seemed to be either a cross-dresser, gay, flamboyant, or a flamboyantly gay cross-dresser. (J/N As much as I love that show…you have to admit, it's true XD)

I glanced over to ask the girls why we were watching this weird anime in the first place, only to see all four of them-plus Konan-drooling over the screen. I groaned and smacked my hand against my forehead.

Big mistake.

As soon as I did, Shizuka turned and stared at me before asking "When you facepalm, does your hand-mouth bite you on the face?"

"What? Of course it doesn't, un!"

Shizuka's comment, though, had set them all off.

Kagami grinned. "Oh, I remember this one comic I read where Deidara's making his hands make out, and then he makes them start screwing each other and traumatizes Tobi!"

"WHAT? That's just-"

Haruka chimed in. "And I saw one where he's giving Sex Ed and he says that you need to use protection so you don't get your hand pregnant!"

Now I was getting angry. "You guys just-"

Yume was on my side. "Really, guys, you shouldn't-"

"Hey, Blondie, what DO you use those hands for in dark rooms at night?" Hidan asked, grinning.

Everyone was laughing. Itachi, Pain, and Yume were the only exceptions. Laughing, laughing, laughing…at ME.

If you heard a snap, it was my temper breaking completely.

"Why don't you all just SHUT THE FUCK UP, HM?" I roared. Everyone fell quiet and stared at me. (Z/N: Well SOMEONE'S on their period)

Shizuka's eyes widened and she started, "Deidara, I didn't-"

I was already storming out of the room. Those guys…as if I hadn't dealt with that stuff about my hands enough back in Iwa after I got the jutsu before I left.

They were just a bunch of freakin' jerks is what they were.

Yume's POV

In all truth, I wasn't sure quite what to think about the situation. True, Kagami, Shizuka, and Haruka had just been kidding around and trying to get a reaction out of him, but it was obvious enough to me that Deidara had actually been hurt by their unintentionally cruel taunts.

Hidan must have been the final blow.

Not to mention the laughter…

I couldn't really blame him for losing his temper and storming out of the room like that.  
Shizuka was panicking, and kept saying, "I didn't mean it, I was just kidding around" and things like that. Haruka and Kagami weren't much better off.

Sighing, I stood up. "I'll go talk to him."

"Yume-"

"It's no big deal. He won't be mad at me, I wasn't laughing," I said over my shoulder as I walked to where I knew Deidara would be…

Namely in my room with the door shut. I sighed.

"Deidara, open the door."

"Why should I, hm?"

"It's my room, remember! Just let me in, please!"

Silence before Deidara finally walked over and pulled open the door. "Fine. Come in." His cadet blue eyes were cold as ice, and he still looked angry, so it wasn't a surprise that I hesitated before walking in after him. When I was in the room, he closed the door again.

We sat on the bottom bunk in silence for a moment before he finally spoke up. "How can you stand to be friends with them, un? They're annoying, not to mention rude."

"They didn't mean it…they were just kidding. Trying to get on your nerves."

"Well they sure seemed serious to me, un!"

I cast him a curious look, feeling confused. Why was this such a big deal to him? I mean, he's the one who used the jutsu to give him this skill in the first place, wasn't he?

Deidara noticed me staring, because then he sighed. "Fine. Guess I'll explain to you why it bothers me so much, un. I'm guessing that if you know the 'basics of our powers' like you said you did, you know how I got my jutsu, right?"

"Yes…"

"Well, yes, that's true. I stole the jutsu so that I could turn my sculptures into even more beautiful art…so they would truly be fleeting images that last for but a moment, a single flash of perfection that's lost for good, yeah." He sat there with a dreamy expression on his face before snapping out of it and looking at me.

"After all, that is true art, is it not?"

I picked my response carefully, making it truthful, but not too awkward. "I don't know. Shizuka's the artist. I'm just one of the group…but it DOES make sense. After all, you only realize how precious something is when it's gone forever, right?"

Deidara nearly fell off the bed, staring at me in shock. "You…agree with me?"

I nodded.

He stared at me for a moment, open mouthed-the one on his face, at least-before saying, "Oh, geez…marry me, woman!"

"Wh-what?" My face turned red. I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. I was about to ask before I noticed his smirk as he watched me. The guy had only been trying to get a reaction!

"Um, a-anyway…back onto your hands?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Well…they were a part of the jutsu I wasn't expecting, un. I'd though that it would just let me focus my chakra easier, to knead it into my clay…I didn't know that I'd end up as a freak."

I was about to protest that compared to most of the members, he was normal, but he cut me off before I could.

"Yes, that's it. I'm a freak, at least according to the other people in Iwa before I left the village, un. No normal person has a mouth on each hand, and much less one on their chest." He closed his eyes.

"So, yeah. I don't really like them much either, un. It's really awkward with them. I have to be careful who I make contact with, people don't much like to be licked, hm."

I didn't realize that he'd put his hand over top of mine until I felt it nip the back of my palm. I stifled a squeak, and he jerked his hand away quickly, looking panicked.

"Oh, geez. I…I'm so sorry, Yume, un! I didn't mean-"

"It's okay, Deidara. You can't control what they do." I aid, rubbing the red mark that had appeared. "Great, now I have a hickey on my hand." (Z/N: Gonna be elsewhere in the future, Yume)

There was an awkward pause that ended up with us both blushing and looking away, embarrassed by how I'd just made it seem.

"I…I didn't mean like that-"

"I know, I know, un…but see? Freaky."

"Actually…it's kind of cool."

Deidara blinked, looking like a little kid who'd just been given a two-pound Hershey bar and wasn't sure if it was for real or not. (J/N Seeing as my school gives out giant Hershey's for rewards at contests, I would know. -_-) (Z/N: … *gets out gun again* CHOOOOCOLATE! CHOOOOCLATTE!)

"You…you mean that?"

"Uh-huh."

He stared at me for a moment longer, making me feel uncomfortable before I decided to ask another question that had been on my mind for a while.

"Hey, Deidara…about that time in the closet-"

"That? Oh, sorry…I dunno what came over me then, yeah."

I blinked, not sure whether to feel insulted, relieved, or break down crying. We sat there motionless for another moment.

Nothing more awkward than being in your bedroom with a boy who you're too scared to talk to…

Deidara suddenly got a small smirk on his face as he glanced at me.

"You know, Yume, I have a friend who's been looking for a girl kind of like you, hm," he said, a teasing tone in his voice.

"Oh, what's he like?" I played along.

"Well, he's pretty close to your age, maybe about a year or two older? Blonde hair, blue eyes, I hear that people find him very handsome. Pretty fast too, and strong, un. He's an artist…really great guy all around. Pretty popular with girls. You interested, yeah?"

My face must have been the color of blood. "Sure thing. Tell your 'friend' I'm thinking about it, m'kay?" I smiled shyly.  
Deidara grinned, and then fell silent for a moment before turning back to me.

"He says he's thrilled and hopes you don't mind if he does this, un."

I didn't get a chance to ask what he meant, because then his lips crashed onto mine and the rest of the world ceased to exist.

…I'll put it quite simply: When it comes to giving a girl her first kiss, Deidara is AMAZING. He went from being a smart-alecky, quick-tempered, egotistical yet extremely hot man to being someone soft and steady and gentle.

His hand was resting on the back of my neck, licking and nibbling, his fingers twined into my hair. Those parts made the kiss sexier.

…I have no idea how long we were kissing for. Maybe about thirty seconds? When we pulled apart, it was strictly for air.

I spoke first. "Why didn't you tell me…you could kiss like that?"

"I wanted to show you…and I never had the chance beforehand, un. Kagami interrupted before I could."

I sat there staring at him in shock for a moment before he leaned in and kissed me again. This time, it was a total make-out fest. Every kiss lasted a few seconds before we'd pull back, breathe, and get right back into it.

We must have been going like this for about two minutes before Deidara suddenly stopped, pulled back, and turned to glare at…the wall?

Then I heard a sort of sniggering and knew what was going on.

"ZETSU, YOU ASSHOLE!" Deidara shouted, his face turning as red as mine while he grabbed a pillow and flung it at where the plant man's face had appeared a moment ago, if only for a second. (Z/N: If this was on TV, they would have censored "hole". Don`t mind me, I`m helpin with the blocking. **)

"Oh, come on now, Deidara-san. **Don't mind us. By all means, continue shoving your tongue in that girl's mouth.**"

"I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A SALAD! And for the record, we were NOT tounging!"

"**Of course you weren't.**Talk to you later."

After a moment, Deidara said bitterly "Well, so much for keeping this our secret. Everyone in the house is gonna know now, un."

I shrugged, still blushing. "Well, everyone would find out sooner or later."

"…you wanna make out again?"

"Oh, heck yeah!"

(Z/N: Forever Alone)

**Courtesy of a swinging incident, I have a rope burn on my right upper arm, a cut/lump on the right side of my forehead…plus my shoulders are sunburned…**

**Anyway, back on topic: Yume finally got her kiss from Deidara! And of course, Zetsu ruins the moment. XD Gotta love the plant-man. I don't much like how I ended off on a quote, though…ah, well.**

**Question of the week: Who are your top five favorite Naruto characters, in order? Mine are: Deidara (DEIDEI PWNS!), Sasori (Face it, puppets are sexy), Itachi (He should've killed Sasuke), Hidan (How can you NOT love him?) and Tobi/Madara (I'd like him more if he hadn't killed Konan).**

**Now, REVIEW! Otherwise Zetsu will interrupt YOUR kiss with a sexy criminal! ;D**

**Jordan out.**

_**-And remember kids, -forever alone-**_


	20. Dance!

**Back on track, folks! WE HAVE HIT 200 REVIEWS! OMGOMGOMG! I love you all so much (not in the creepy way) and I'm so happy I could cry~You guys are THE BEST!**

**Glitterthorn- 'Tis okay. I wasn't accusing you of stealing, since it's a common plot that's hard to come up with unique ideas for. I just noticed that some of them seemed similar to my story's. In all truth, I take it as a compliment. ^^**

**Xakia-Lol, that's where I saw it. XD It's in my favorites on my DeviantART page, actually. Now I want the Akatsuki to teach ME Sex Ed…take that as you will. Lol.**

**Tiryn-Oh, you'll see…you'll see alright. As of now, there just hasn't been much time to incorporate it into the story~**

**Xelacy-You were the 200th reviewer. 8D**

**Now, read on, my lovelies**~

Yume's POV

Saturday afternoon after Deidara and I made out, and stuff's getting INTENSE…

"C'mon, Kisame…you have to sing the song," I said, grinning. Kisame glared.

"I'm not singing."

"You lost the game of Go Fish! You have to sing the song I just picked for you!" (Z/N: Remove "Go Fish". Go ahead. Read it now.)

Now, you might be wondering what's going on, so I'll put it as plainly as I could: We were playing Go Fish, and the loser had to sign a randomly selected song from the karaoke machine.

"I'm not singing!"

"Too bad, fish-sticks." Kagami threw him the microphone and selected the song. I was going to pick the Sailor Song, but…I like Kagami's idea better as the shark started to sing:

"_I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, won't somebody help me!" _He sang, then froze and shot us all death glares. I motioned for him to keep singing.

"_I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, won't somebody save me? Do you wanna know how living is beneath the waves? Do you wanna know how everything I knew was changed? It wasn't such a big commotion, I just had a drop of magic potion-"_

"No, he had a shark for a mother!" Kagami laughed.

"_-And with a wriggle, a twist, a splash and a splish, I was a FISH! Help me! I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, won't somebody help me? I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, won't somebody save me?"_

Kisame is going to kill us for this, I just know it.

"_Do you wanna take a whalebus, wanna meet a stupid shark?"_

"No, thanks, already met one!" Kagami interrupted again, watching as Kisame turned purple and started twitching.

"_Do you wanna ride a seahorse or hide in an oyster park? It isn't such a big commotion, all you need is magic potion, and with a wriggle, a twist, a splash and a splish, you're a FISH! Help me! I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, won't somebody help me? I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, won't somebody save me?" _(Z/N: ...I'm really taking this song the _wrong _way.)

"_Help me, help me, I need a remedy. Help me, help me. Help me, help me, I need a remedy. Help me, help me. Life is strange at the bottom of the ocean, you won't believe the things you see. Stay on shore, don't give into notions, if you don't wanna be like me!"_

Chorus repeated twice, and we were all left dying of laughter on the floor at Kisame Hoshigaki's suffering. I saw Shizuka putting a video camera back behind her back. I was practically falling against Deidara's arm, and we were hanging onto each other for support.

Oh, shut up, you'd be laughing like that too.

Of course, probably the most disturbing part came a moment later. A laughter none of us-and probably nobody alive-had ever heard before.

That's right, ladies. Itachi Uchiha…was…LAUGHING. Not even just that little chuckle he does when he finds something ironic or amusing. He was full out cracking up.

_Of course_, being the perfectly normal girl that I am, I took it calmly and rationally.

"HOLY FREAKING CRAP ITACHI'S LAUGHING! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! PROTECT ME, DEIDEI!"

…okay, so actually, I screamed and glomped Deidara, who just laughed and wrapped his arm around me in mock protection.

After another five minutes of that, we were bored. Again. With nothing to do…

It was Saturday afternoon, what do you expect? We needed something to _do_! And, surprisingly, Shizuka came up with the answer.

"Hey, Haruka…doesn't your half-sister DJ at that dance club downtown? What was it called again…The Midnight Rose?"

Haruka nodded. She was sitting in Tobi's lap, cuddled up against him. Geez, she goes on _one_ vacation to Vegas with the guy and now they're like a married couple…

Shizuka started smirking, and I knew what she was thinking.

"Shizuka, I don't freaking _care_ how bored we are, we're not going to a dance club with the entire freaking _Akatsuki_."

"It's not a big deal, Yume-chan. Just have them use some transformation jutsus, and we'll dress up nicely-"

"NO DRESSING UP!"

Too late. When Shizuka decides on something, it's impossible to change her mind.

About fifteen minutes later, all four of us had been dressed up in 'nice, club clothes.'

"I'm not even going to ASK where you got these clothes," I said, glaring at my reflection. My purple hair was loose from its braids, hanging in waves down to my mid-back. My shirt was a light aqua color, and I was wearing a pair of khaki shorts that cut off a little above my knees with dark brown ankle boots. Not my style, even if it wasn't _too_ girly.

Haruka was wearing an elbow-sleeved navy blue shirt with one of those necklines styled so you can see her shoulders, with a pair of faded jeans, black dress-shoes, and her hair pulled up into a ponytail. She didn't seem to mind dressing up as much as I did.

Kagami had been the most difficult to dress up, since she hates dresses and skirts in every way. We'd finally gotten her into a dark red crop-top and black _skort_. Yeah, we compromised, so sue me. She'd refused to let us touch her hair though.

Shizuka just shrugged and laughed at how Kagami and I were sulking. She was in a light gray top that, rather than sleeves, had two strings that tied back behind her neck along with a denim mini skirt. Her hair hung in its usual loose style between her shoulder blades.

The second we walked out into the living room, all the boys started staring. Hidan's jaw dropped open, Itachi and Sasori got wide-eyed, Deidara's face turned slightly pink, and Kisame gave a wolf-whistle that earned him a glare from said blonde. Tobi shifted uncomfortably, but I could tell that Madara was enjoying it deeply.

"Wait, hold on, you guys have to use transformation jutsus," I reminded. After some grumbling, the Akatsuki used said jutsus.

Haruka grinned. "Well, c'mon, let's go to the club! I wanna see Tori, and I've never been to her club before."

One Walk Later

I feel bad for Tori already with Hidan and Kisame walking into the club. Of COURSE they'd be the first one to see her at the DJ stand. I'll describe why as best as I can:

She looks like a freaking supermodel.

Tori is 18 and a beauty queen, with black hair that hung past her hips, dark blue eyes, and curves galore. There's a reason she's got every boy in town drooling at her feet. And surprisingly, she's cool about it. (J/N: If she seems like a Sue, it was COMPLETELY unintended)

I like her a lot.

But aside from the long black hair and fair skin, it's impossible to tell that she and Haruka are related.

We've actually given her the nickname of 'Aphrodite.'

Hidan and Kisame were already under her spell, I could tell because they were wide-eyed and all but drooling.

"_That's_ your half-sister, Haruka? Dang, why didn't you introduce us sooner?" Hidan asked, grinning with his purple eyes glinting. Tori looked up at that moment and saw us, smiling and waving before jumping up to come to talk to us.

"Hey guys. You haven't come to the club often, have you?" She asked, grinning. I noticed Hidan and Kisame looking a little lower than her face, and of course, Kagami did too.

And she doesn't need her skillet to kick some serious butt.

Normally we'd laugh at the pain of the shark man and immortal, but Tori had started up a conversation.

"So who're all these? I thought you were the Four Musketeers."

"There's only _Three_ Musketeers."

"Fine, the fantastic Four. There's four of you, you stick together in one group, and never let anyone else in. Now you show up at my club with nine boys and one new chick?"

"Yep."

Tori just rolled her eyes. "Okay, so, glad that's cleared up."

Hidan, of course, had not learned his lesson from Kagami's abuse and walked up behind Tori proceeding to wrap his arms around her waist. "How you doin', babe?"

"Dude…let go," She said, frowning. Of course, Kisame didn't want to be left out, and as such, he came up behind Hidan and proceeded to yank the shorter man away from Haruka's half-sister.

I sweatdropped as they started fighting. Tori just laughed. "I'd better get back to the DJ stand. Let me know if you have any requests, m'kay?"

"Sure thing…Victoria." Shizuka said, smugly using the full name that the teenage DJ despised so much.

"For the last time, it's TORI. Not Victoria, TORI."

"Yeah, yeah." Shizuka waved her off. "Go do your DJ thing or whatever."

And she did.

And boy did we freaking PARTY.

She played songs really easy to dance to, like hip-hop stuff, pop, and just some dance bands like Cascada. Probably the best song she played was Caramelldansen.

Surprisingly, everybody in the room except the ten Akatsuki members began to 'break it down' at that part.

"Now we are here with Caramell dancing! Ooh, ooh, oo-ah oo-ah!" I sang along as I did the classic dance moves, fully aware of Deidara getting a minor nosebleed from how I swung my hips.

Yeah. I'm just that sexy bitch So stick that in your juice box, and SUCK IT. (Z/N: Taking things the wrong way. Fuck yea.)

By the time I walked back over to the other Akatsuki members, excluding Hidan and Kisame who had gone off to talk with girls, a certain person who I _really_ wished I didn't have to see was standing over there, batting her dark brown eyes at the boys and wearing a sugar-pink tank top and way-too-short shorts.

Yeah, that's right. Motherfuckin' Courtney was at the club, in the house, and trying to get cozy with our boys.

Third Person POV

"So, boys…" Courtney smiled, winking playfully. "You guys single, I'm guessing? Wanna dance?"

"I have a girlfriend, un."

"I'd really rather not."

"Hn."

"Tobi has a pretty girl-chan already though!"

Courtney blinked, as she wasn't used to being turned down. "Oh, really? Hmph. Well, that doesn't mean you can't at least DANCE with me..."

Yume walked up behind her. "Can it, you dumb whore. They said they don't wanna dance, so they don't wanna dance!"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "_Of course_, like you would know. So, what, they like _you_ or something? Yeah, right."

"Actually, _this_ is my girlfriend," Deidara said, smirking and wrapping his arm around Yume's waist, causing the girl to blush. "C'mon, Yume-chan, let's go dance."

"Um, o-okay…" And Yume was dragged onto the dance-floor, a fuming Courtney turning red as she glared after them.

"Son of a-"

As Courtney proceeded to voice her opinion to the club, Kagami had gotten to work. She walked over to Hidan who had just been rejected by a blonde girl-probably because his pick-up line was "Nice fuckin' boobs"- and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Whaddya want, bitch?"

"See that dark-haired girl over by the other Akatsuki members? In the pink top and shorts that are way _too_ short?"

Hidan nodded, looking interested. "Yes…"

"Well, her name's Courtney. She's Wyatt's cousin and a total slut, but she's pretty dang easy, if you know what I mean."

Hidan's eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas, or whatever holiday Jashinists celebrate instead of that special day.

Courtney was about to turn and flutter her eyes at Pain when Hidan came up behind her and placed an arm around her shoulder. "How you doin', babe? Wanna dance?"

Courtney blinked, and then smirked. "Sure. Let's dance."

After those two laughed, Tobi got a little bit more excited. "Oh, oh, Haruka-chan! Tobi and Haruka should dance too!" He declared cheerfully, grabbing Haruka and yanking her out onto the dance floor.

Shizuka was laughing at Courtney and Hidan, the latter of who was getting a little 'handsy' and had just copped a feeling on her ass.

"You know, maybe he'll be more quiet after this. I heard people are more obnoxious when they haven't had sex in a while, so he should quiet down…either that or he'll be bragging about getting laid and we'll have to hit him with the Skillet." (J/N Yeah, that's right! The Skillet is so epic, it gets CAPITALIZED!) (Z/N: Like a baws.)

Kagami looked at Itachi as she walked back over. "Itachi-sama…do you, um…want to dance?"

Itachi blinked, then almost gave a half-smile. "Sure." He took Kagami's hand and pulled her to the dance floor.

Back over to Yume and Deidara, Yume had discovered that Deidara was an amazing dancer. "Wow, so you can kiss good AND dance good, not to mention you're an artist? Dang, what _can't_ you do?"

"I can't magically make this DJ play a slow-dance, hm. Does Tori EVER play slow songs?"

Yume turned pink. "I think so, I'm not sure..."

Sasori had been listening in on their conversation, and now walked over to the DJ stand, glancing at the black-haired girl who was searching through songs. "Excuse me, miss…Tori?"

Tori looked at him. "Huh? Oh, hey, you're one of Haruka's friends, right?" Sasori nodded. "Alright, how can I help you?"

"I was wondering…do you play slow songs? I think Deidara and Yume would like an excuse for one, but they're…preoccupied." At that moment, Deidara had kissed Yume again, so yes, they were preoccupied.

Tori blinked, then grinned. "Sure thing…hey, is it just me, or does Shizuka look kind of lonely?" She hinted as she started searching through slow songs, selecting on the slow, piano version of "Everytime We Touch."

Sasori glanced over and saw that was true. Most of the Akatsuki members had dispersed around the room, and her friends were shifting into a slow-dance style. She did look lonely…Sasori slipped up to her quietly, and she jumped in surprise.

"Ah…Sasori-san-"

Sasori didn't even bother asking, just took her hand and pulled her gently onto the dance floor. Shizuka's face turned pink, but she let him hold her close and lead her along to the soft music.

"_Because every time we touch, I get this feeling. And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky. Can't you hear my heart beat fast? I want this to last. Need you by my side."_

Kagami's face was red as she started to slow-dance with Itachi. Of course, not saying she didn't enjoy being pulled against his chest with his left hand resting at her shoulder and his right hand at her waist.

Tobi, of course, needed to act like he couldn't slow-dance as well as he really could to hide his true Madara side, but he managed to do well, and Haruka smiled and closed her eyes as he pulled her lightly around the floor.

Yume's face went red, and she tried to hide it with Deidara's shirt, hearing him laugh. "You're not really good at hiding blushes, un. It's cute, though."

Yume blushed even more. "Then I guess I must always be adorable then, huh?"

Deidara smiled at her, almost tenderly. "Always," He said softly, tilting her head back and kissing her again. Not a spicy make-out session, just a sweet, warm kiss.

And so, the girls dance with their boys until they had to get back to the house because the club was closing up. It was a little after midnight when they did…well, except for Hidan. Which Haruka noticed.

"Hey, guys? Where's Hidan?"

"I think I saw him go into a back room with Courtney…I'm not checking up on it."

With Hidan and Courtney…

"Ohohoho, you're a dirty little girl, ain't ya? Jashin-sama would like that, mm-hmm."

"Oh, Hidan…mm…ah…keep doing that…ah!"

"Hehe, you naughty little whore…hang on a moment, this might hurt. But it'll make you scream my name."

"Oh…HIDAN~"

Yeah, probably a good thing nobody went to see what was going on in the back room of the club. (Z/N: …Me gusta?)

…**Hidan and Courntey just had SEX, ladies and gentlemen! XD Only an implication, though, the story is still rated T…and it's just a one night stand, NOT a pairing. -_-**

**Question of the week: who are your most HATED Naruto characters? Mine are: Sasuke Uchiha (DEEEEIIIDDDEEEEEIII!), Orochimaru (who actually likes him), Kabuto (irritating, doesn't respect the dead), Danzo (HATE HIS GUTS!) and Karin (She annoys me, but SuiKar is cute…)**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: again, slight hiatus on updates from August 3rd-12th. I will be on a vacation and unable to work on the fic, as my computer will be limited. But if you happen to be by Cannon Beach at the Oregon Coast in that time, and see a twelve year old with glasses who will probably be reading a book or petting every dog on the beach…well, if you talk to her and ask her name and she says "Jordan", ask if she's ever watched Naruto. If she says yes, ask if she's the author of Akatsukitties. If this is me, I will glomp you.**

**Review or I'll sic Hidan on you!**

**As ICanadianJutsuI from Naruto Shippuden Abridged would say: Stay frosty.**

_**~I'm sooooo sorry this took so long! I've had this chapter for weeks but I didn't have a computer to help me edit. I just got home so chapters will be returning to their regular posting schedule. Again, I'm sorry.~ **_


	21. Chrysanthemums

**AND I'M BACK! Vacation was epicness. So, anyhow…questions/comments I will respond:**

**Glitterthorn-…great minds think alike? xP I've actually had this idea for a while now. (BTW, I laughed when I read your review for some reason. XD)**

**DeeaE-…you, my friend, have just given me an excellent idea. :)**

**SakuraDreamerz-…we'll say they did since I forgot to add it. XD**

**Kyoki no Megami-I actually found that out recently. I always thought it was the other way around and got those two mixed up…oh well, guess her last name means "White Lily" now XD**

**Warning: This chapter is mainly filler and fluff. It also has some saddish background stuff for Shizuka by the end. Hey, even humor fics needs some sadness, ne?**

Yume's POV

What's the most interesting way you can think of to wake up? Would it be in Vegas with a hangover and a ring on your finger? A drift of snow in winter? Or lying on your roof thinking: How did I get up here?

As of now, the one I can think of is: Waking up in the morning with a sexy blonde villain in your bed, particularly when you didn't know he slept in your bed with you in the first place.

And when he's shirtless.

But _God _that man is sexy right now…

I glanced over at Sasori. "This wasn't by any chance your idea, was it?"

"Actually, the brat's been sleeping in that bed since the Truth or Dare matchup. He just waited for you to fall asleep, and climbed out before you woke up."

"…and you never told me this...why?"

"You never asked."

I stared at him for a moment before I felt Deidara's arms shift position as he held me around my waist. I turned back over, and we were literally nose-to-nose.

His eyes widened and he blushed slightly in embarrassed. "Um…g-good morning, Yume-chan, un…"

"…good morning…"

"…is this too awkward for you?" (Z/N: SEXUAL TENSION.)

"No, no it's fine…you could've just asked though, you know. I would have let you."

"…really?"

"Yeah."

This could have turned into a beautiful moment of kissing like we had nowhere else to be today, but _of course_, Shizuka had other ideas.

"Ready, say, FUZZY PICKLES!"

Deidara and I both turned to look…right at a cell phone. Shizuka grinned and snapped a photo. "Wow, what a great picture! It will always bring back the fondest of memories." She teased.

I twitched. "Shizuka, no video game references."

"Hey, you're the one who always screams 'The cake is a lie' when she gets bored."

"…ah, touché." (J/N IRUKA, GET OUTTA MY EPISODE!)

"So…can I ask why you two are cuddling? Did something happen last night that I wasn't aware of and Sasori doesn't want to tell me?"

I blushed deeply while Deidara's face colored slightly red and he glared at Shizuka

"Go fuck Sasori, yeah!"

Shizuka's eyes widened and she turned a bright shade of crimson. "You did NOT just say that-"

Sasori cut her off, walking forward and quite literally dragging Deidara out of bed by his hair.

"I am going to KILL you, Brat."

"Danna, stop it, hm, that hurts! Ow, ow, ow!" (Z/N: 1. Takes this little snippet out of context, 2. Laugh, 3. ?, 4. Profit!)

About a minute after they were in the hallway with the door closed after them, I heard the sound of something getting hit and Deidara cursing. Rinse and repeat.

"…should we go stop them?"

"Probably."

When we got out into the hallway, it was a pretty interesting sight. Sasori was holding Deidara by his neck, and the terrorist had a black eye, a bruise jaw, and a fairly bloody nose.

It was kind of comical, actually, seeing as Sasori is shorter than Dei.

But the look on the puppet's face when he saw us, just as he was drawing back his fist to punch Deidara again, was priceless. I mean, it just spelled out, "Oh crap, busted."

Of course, while Shizuka was laughing half to death, I was running over to Deidara.

"Ah…Deidara! A-are you okay?" What a stupid question. He's a freaking ninja, this is probably nothing compared to some of his injuries.

He gave an awkward smile, which was difficult because of his bruised jaw. "Heh…yeah, un. Konan knows some medical jutsu, she can fix me up later. It's better than what happened in our last fight."

"…what happened then?"

"I blew off Danna's left arm and leg, but then he paralyzed me with a poison and managed to use some of that wood glue of his to seal my hand mouths. Hurt like hell, and I couldn't work on my art for a week because that's how long it took to get the stuff off."

I nodded, trying not to laugh at the mental image as I pulled him to his feet. "C'mon, let's get some ice on those bruises."

"Shouldn't I put a shirt on?"

"…no, I'm fine with this." (Z/N: Everyone is fine with this, Yume, _everyone_.)

"And Danna says I'M perverted sometimes, hm."

"Oh, hush."

Itachi's POV

I wasn't sure whether or not to be kind of anxious when I felt the lack of Kagami sleeping in her bed beside me when I woke up. She was always awake before me, yes, but I could usually tell what she was doing…

Because of her shouting and Hidan's screamed curses.

I opened my eyes barely to slits, seeing that she was standing beside the bed staring at me. She didn't know I was awake either, so I stayed quiet. And listened to her speak…to…herself?

"Holy Jashin, Itachi-sama, you're so freaking sexy like this…shirtless with your hair down, and ASLEEP…almost makes me want to rape you."

'_Oh god.'_

"But that'd be wrong, and it wouldn't work because you're a ninja and you'd kick my ass into the next year. Plus I don't wanna traumatize you after the whole Orochimaru snake-rape thing when you joined Akatsuki."

'_I'm guessing she knew about that because of the 'anime' we're from. How much else does she know, come to think of it? Does she know about the massacre?'_

"Mm-hmm, so sexy. Every fangirl instinct in my body is telling me to lock you in the closet and keep you there forever…keep you safe from your emo little brother. But then you'd get mad at me, and we don't want that, do we, Itachi-sama?"

"No we most certainly do not."

The look on her face when I sat up and looked at her was priceless. Her face turned crimson, and she fell over before grabbing a blanket off the floor and covering herself up with it, hiding from view.

"How…how much did you hear, Itachi-sama?"

"I've been awake since you mentioned wanting to rape me."

"…I AM NEVER COMING OUT FROM BENEATH THIS BLANKET."

"You're going to have to. You have school today, don't you?"

"You'd be surprised, Itachi-sama. I can just crawl to school beneath the blanket. I'm very resourceful."

I stared for a moment before stepping out of the bed, walking over to her, and picking the blanket off of her. When she jumped up to grab it, I pinned her against the wall.

"I-Itachi-sama! What are you doing?"

From one of the other rooms, I heard Kisame shout.

"OI, ITACHI! You raping her without us? Not cool, man, not cool!"

Kagami turned red.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, FISH-FACE!" She shouted in the direction of the door, her only response being Kisame's laughter.

Hidan added in "Tch, who needs to rape THAT bitch? I got some with that whore, Courtney, I'm good for another two days at least!"

"HIDAN SHUT UP! I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOU FUCKING OUR WORST ENEMY!"

I tightened my grip on her shoulder.

"You should get dressed and go to school, Kagami-chan."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I will force you."

Her eyes widened and she blushed deeper, but then grinned wickedly. "Alright then, Itachi-sama, force me."

I smirked at her, leaning closer to her face which made her only blush more, and activated my Sharingan.

"Gladly."

Less than five minutes later, Kagami was fully dressed and very confused as to how she got to be so. (J/N In case you're confused, Itachi more or less put her in a genjutsu so she was hypnotized into getting dressed. And no, he didn't watch her as she did)

Madara's POV (Been a while since I wrote pervy Madara, ne?)

I stood outside of the bathroom, sighing as Haruka took her shower. She'd stated that not only could I not join her, but if I teleported in while she was showering, she would ask Shizuka to teach her the five different ways to-ahem-"de-man" a guy if I did. Because apparently her friend's brother is a doctor who knows that stuff.

However, she didn't say I couldn't go in there after the water went off.

Of course, I had to keep up my Tobi façade while all the other members were around, but she wasn't making it easy with the song she was singing in there.

"_No is a dirty word, never gonna say it first. No is just the thought that never crosses my mind. Maybe in the parking lot? Better bring your friend along, better all together than just one at a time._

"'_S' is for the simple need, 'E' is for the ecstasy. 'X' is just to mark the spot cuz that's the one you really want. Yes, sex is always the answer, it's never a question 'cause the answer's yes, oh the answer's yes. Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question than it's always yes, yes!_

"_I'm loving what you wanna wear, wonder what's up under there? Wonder if I'll ever have it under my tongue. I'd love to try and set you free, I love you all over me, love to hear the sound you make the second you're done._

"'_S' is for the simple need, 'E' is for the ecstasy. 'X' is just to mark the spot cuz that's the one you really want. Yes, sex is always the answer, it's never a question 'cause the answer's yes, oh the answer's yes. Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question than it's always yes, yes!"_

She repeated the chorus twice more, and then I heard the water turn off. Smirking, I made a hand sign and, making sure no one was looking, teleported in behind her-

Goddammit, she already wrapped herself fully in a towel. Eh, oh well.

I slid off my mask and set it on the floor, wrapping my arms around her stomach.

"Did you enjoy your shower, Haruka-chan?" Chirped my "Tobi" voice. She was blushing a vivid crimson color.

"If this is your way of trying to seduce me, it's not working."

"What! Tobi wouldn't do that, Tobi is a good boy!" I laughed and switched to my normal voice.

"Alright, so you caught me. But you didn't say I couldn't come in AFTER your shower. And that song said that the answer's always yes. So why do you say no?"

"…I'm still gonna ask Shizuka to teach me how to castrate you."

"But then you wouldn't be able to have any children, Haruka."

Her blush turned darker.

"M-Madara-sama! That's…that's not…" She gave up and finally just sighed.

"You know, sometimes I think the only reason you keep me around is because you want me to have sex with you."

Okay, that kind of stung. "Oh, Haruka-chan…I prefer the term 'making love.' And besides, that's only HALF the reason."

"…what's the other half?"

"I love you."

She seemed to freeze up for a moment when I told her that. It was probably the strangest way anyone had ever been confessed to…in a bathroom, wrapped in a towel, while the man telling them had just been accused of wanting them only for pleasure.

She turned and looked at me with wide violet eyes, wet black strands stuck to her forehead, and then she smiled at me shyly.

"I…I love you too, Madara-sama."

A moment of quiet.

"Now can I please get dressed?"

I smirked and stepped back, reaching down to pick up my mask. "Of course you can, Haruka." I put my mask back on, folding my arms across my chest and waiting.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…well?"

"GET OUT!"

"Ow, you don't have to throw the shampoo bottles-OW! OKAY, I'M GOING!"

Yume's POV, after school

"Do you guys think it was a good idea to leave the Akatsuki at home alone…while they're human?" Haruka asked, glancing at me. It was just her, Kagami and I because Shizuka had gone in a different direction for a "personal thing." I didn't question it.

"I think so. I mean, they know the rules that if they wanna stay, they can't…destroy…anything…oh REALLY?"

Right ahead of us, as though waiting the whole day were Itachi, Deidara, Sasori and Tobi.

"You guys are supposed to stay home!" I hissed, walking over there and pulling Deidara forward by his shirt collar. He grinned at me sheepishly.

"Un, we just wanted to walk you home. Is that so wrong, hm?" He kissed me after he spoke…which of course made it instantly better.

"Uh…no…it's fine…just don't do it too often, someone could recognize you."

Sasori glanced around for a moment. "Where's Shizuka?"

"She left that way," Haruka said, pointing as Tobi was hugging her against him. "She said it was personal and nothing else."

"…should somebody go after her, just in case?" Methinks he's worried about Wyatt attacking her or something. Aw, how sweet.

Kagami grinned from where she was clinging to Itachi's arm. "Good idea, Pinocchio! Go follow Shizuka!"

"…why me?"

"Because you're the only one she won't punch in the face if she catches you and gets mad."

Sasori sighed. "Great logic, Kagami…really great." But he was already turning and walking away.

He's totally in love with her.

Shizuka's POV (sorry for all the POV switches, but I want to show everyone!)

"Excuse me, miss? How may I help you?" I jumped slightly as the clerk of the floral shop spoke from behind me.

"Oh! Um…I was just wondering if you have any chrysanthemums."

The clerk smiled slightly. "Of course. A bouquet?"

"Yes please, a bouquet of six."

After I'd paid for the flowers, I began heading in the direction of one of my least favorite places in town. On my way, though, a familiar head of strawberry blonde hair caught my attention.

"Masaru?"

My twenty-two year old brother turned in surprise, his hazel eyes blinking before he smiled at me kind of awkwardly.

"Hey, Zuka-chan."

"Don't call me Zuka-chan, I'm not a kid anymore. Anyway, I thought you had work?"

"Oh, I uh…I took the day off. Same reason that you're not with your friends." He looked at the bouquet in my hands, and his eyes saddened slightly.

"So, um…want me to come with you?"

"No, I'm fine…I wanted to be alone for this. You should just get back home. I mean, Rachel's gonna be waiting for you, right?"

I'll clear a few things up. I live with Masaru rather than my parents just because we have a pretty close sibling bond, with the classic sibling rivalry lower than what you'd expect. I've been living with him for the past three years since he got the house because with my parents, it's just awkward. And Rachel is his girlfriend who lives with us.

He nodded quietly. "Yeah…see you later then?"

"Yeah…I guess. You know I've been practically living at Yume's for the past month and a half, so it might be tricky."

"Yeah, with nine boys and one chick…how's Wyatt liking that?"

"I broke up with him a while ago."

"Really? Huh. About time. I never did like him. So, um…bye."

"Bye."

End of conversation. I kept walking until I finally arrived at my destination: The neighborhood cemetery.

I went to the part everyone calls "Toyland." It's called that because it's the area where everyone beneath age eighteen is buried. The kids' cemetery. And people are always leaving little stuffed toys at the graves.

I hate it here. But I come every year. My friends don't know I come here. They don't know because I never told them.

I walked to one of the older areas and stopped at the grave. As usual, I hated to read the words there.

'Aki Tamashii. 1991-2003.' She died when she was twelve. She would be twenty years old now if she was still alive. Four years older than me.

I placed the bouquet of chrysanthemums on the grave. Her favorite flowers.

"Hey, Aki…sorry that I couldn't come by earlier. School and stuff. You know the drill. I…I brought you some flowers. They're your favorite, you know?"

I swallowed hard, pulling my sketchbook out of my backpack and tearing out a page, placing it on the gravestone beside the flowers. The picture was of a woman of about twenty, with long black hair and amber eyes. She was standing by a brown-haired boy with green eyes.

"I drew you a picture…see? It's you, with Tyler Larson. Remember, your best friend and secret crush? He turned twenty-one a month ago, and he still hasn't married…so I drew you as his Mrs. Larson. Like you were always talking about…I had to use my imagination for how you would look now, since you were twelve when…well…"

I smiled sadly at the headstone. "Anyway, I just…I wanted to come here and talk for a while…stuff is going on and I wanted to let you know, even though you can't tell me what you think. It…it helps."

I told her everything. From the Akatsuki showing up to Wyatt attacking me…everything. It felt good just to vent. Finally, I got to the point.

"And, Aki, there's this one boy in the Akatsuki who…I really like him. His name is Sasori. The thing is, he's a puppet. He doesn't really feel anything…emotionally or physically. And I like him a lot, but I don't know if he likes me the same way…I wish you were here. You could tell me what to do. You know about boys more than I do."

I sat down in front of the grave, pulling my knees to my chest and blinking rapidly as I looked at the grave, which kept blurring in and out of view. Finally, I said what was so special about today. My voice hitched slightly as I spoke:

"Happy Birthday…Onee-chan."

After that, I could no longer hold back the tears that I'd been trying to keep hidden.

Sasori's POV

I saw the whole thing. She'd never noticed me following her, but I'd needed to know she was okay. I'd had to make sure. I don't know why, but I did.

And I felt completely shocked when I had discovered where she was going. I was standing about ten feet behind her, just frozen.

So her older sister was dead…do her friend even know? I don't think so.

And the things she'd said, as well. The confessions. And what she'd said about me.

'_I like him a lot, but I don't know if he feels the same way. He doesn't really have many emotions…'_

I shook my head quietly. So she really does like me, as I'd been suspecting since the beginning.

Finally, a few minutes after she'd started crying, I walked up behind her, and when I put my hand on her shoulder, she jumped and turned to stare at me. Her eyes were swollen and her face was flushed red from crying.

"Sa…Sasori-san?"

"Your friends told me to come find you. I won't ask what's wrong."

I won't say I heard your words.

"Let's get back before they worry."

She stared at me a moment before nodding and taking a shuddering breath as her tears started to stop. I waited for her to calm down before I helped her to her feet and started walking

And I didn't protest when she held my hand tightly in hers on the way back to the house.

It's not like I could really feel it anyway.

**You might be wondering: Why does only Shizuka have tragedy in her past? The answer: Sasori lost his parents when he was young, and Shizuka lost her sister. They both understand what it's like, so it's better for empathy and fluff. Kagami doesn't have that because, although Itachi also has a tragic past, theirs is more the case of "opposites attract." Her sister's name, Aki, means 'Autumn', BTW.**

**On a lighter note: Aw, Madara finally confessed his true feelings to Haruka...and Itachi all but molested Kagami. XD**

**Question of the week: I have one word: Sequel. You guys wanna see one? I'm planning on adding another 10-15 chapters to this, and I have ideas for a sequel which I'll be typing anyway, but I want to know what my readers want~**

**Review, people…I can't think of reasons why you should…um…I'll give you guys a cookie? :D**

_**~And remember kids, uh... I can't think of anything... THIS LITTLE MASKY THING IS TOO CUTE. If any of you know Marble Hornets, I love you. If you don't, go check it out on Youtube. It's scary shit, man. Really good scary shit.~**_


	22. What a Twist

**Hi! Late update, I apologize SO, SO much for this, but I had a bit of writers' block. ^^; Not to mention school starting…Plus I'm working on my newest fic, a Madara/Haruka fic called "Ever Hateful Love." Please check it out!**

**StellaMarris-…I am sincerely flattered. You know, what's actually quite funny is that I was reading your "Curse of the Hamsters" fic a while before I saw your review. Personally, I think you're a really good writer. ^.^**

**GEMFaerie-Aki's death is explained later on, and telling you now would be a bit of a spoiler…And as for your other question…yes, actually, it's the entire reason Shizuka has necrophobia.**

**SasuNaruFan- Favorite fanfic? Probably either "The Mating Frenzy" by MSkyDragon, or "Muse" by BlackRose-01. Favorite RPG? Pokémon games, and "Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess." Favorite anime? That's a tricky one…Naruto is my life, but I'd have to pick Black Butler as a secondary one: Interesting plot, smexy boys, and my kind of perverted humor. XD Grell Sutcliff FTW!**

**ON WITH THE STORY~**

Yume's POV

Ah, gym class: The most interesting class in the school week, despite my intense lack of athletic ability.

How is it so interesting?

Wyatt is in it.

Which normally would suck, but our teacher has an obsessions with Boys vs. Girls dodgeball…

…you can see where this is going.

So, yes, we enjoyed gym class very much.

"HEY, WYATT! OVER HERE!" I called out, holding up red rubber death. He turned…just at the right moment to get hit in the face.

"BOOM, headshot!"

He glared and peeled himself off the floor. "FACE-SHOTS DON'T COUNT, STUPID-" Shizuka had thrown her red rubber death so that it hit him where the sun don't shine, causing him to collapse.

"You deserved it, jerk! And besides, it's fun…and how does that hurt? You don't have any balls to begin with." (Z/N: Oh God, the burn.)

"Screw…you…Shizuka…"

"I'd rather not, thanks, I'm straight. Go sit on the bench, kid, you're out."

Oh, yeah. Gym class is awesome.

On our way back from school, though, we had some…slight issues.

"…Yume?"

"What is it, Shizuka?"

"That van is following us." (Z/N: I know where this is going. Yes, the nice person in the van will take the girls to their homes and they'll live happily ever after. You expected something else? You perverts!)

"…what?"

"It's a big black van and it's _following_ us."

I looked over my shoulder. "It's just some creepy pedophile. Keep walking and don't look back."

Kagami shuddered. "I swear, if he looks out that window and even _slightly_ resembles Orochimaru, I will scream like a little girl and hit him in the face with my skillet."

Freakily, the pedo who opened the window and looked out at us was...not very ugly, actually. Just kind of plain. He looked to be his thirties or forties, but I didn't want to find out as he grinned.

"Hey there. You girls need a ride?"

"…a ride HOME?"

"Huh? Oh, sure, let's go with that."

Not the smartest pervert, is he?

Kagami shook her head. "No thanks, we're fine." And we resumed walking, leaving a very shocked pedophile in his creepy black van.

"That's not something that happens every day."

"It really isn't-"

Shizuka broke off as a familiar freckle-faced boy walked up to the car, grinned at the driver, and said: "Hi, dad."

We stared with jaws dropped open as the man opened the passenger side and let the jerk in. Haruka spoke up first.

"Wyatt's dad…is a pedophile?"

"Apparently."

We watched as they drove off.

"…let's get back to the house."

"Agreed."

When we got back at the house, though, we were met by an interesting site…

The Akatsuki were playing Rock Band 2 on the Wii.

_Whut._

Hidan was on the guitar while Itachi had the bass. Deidara was enjoying himself with the drums, and Sasori had the microphone.

They were playing the song "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down, under the hardest mode…as if the song wasn't difficult enough!

I saw Shizuka flinch visibly as Sasori sang the chorus.

"_I don't think you trust…in…my…self-righteous suicide. I…cry…when angels deserve to die, in my self-righteous suicide, I cry when angels deserve to die…"_

Personally, I think the chorus works better for Deidara or Itachi, maybe even Nagato…but it works a little bit for all of them.

Crap. I just reminded myself of their death…

I is sad now.

Probably not astonishingly, they all got top points on the song. Well, duh! They're _ninjas_ for Jashin's sake!

They hadn't noticed us come in, and Hidan was bragging about his success with the guitar…so we decided to get their attention in the first way that came to mind.

I tackled Deidara away from the drum-set, kissing him on the lips. Haruka glomped Tobi from behind, causing him to squeal. Kagami made a running dash that caused Itachi to fall to the floor, thankfully not breaking the guitar in the process. Shizuka rolled her eyes and loudly declared "WE'RE HOME, YOU SONS OF BITCHES."

God, I love these guys.

Only makes it even suckier that they're probably going to have to leave eventually…

Now I'm sad again.

Stupid train of thought.

Deidara smirked and kissed me back, and I could tell he was just barely restraining himself from a make-out fest. No idea what the others were doing…

Although I'm guessing, Kagami is probably molesting Itachi. Poor him.

When we were done and satisfied that we'd gotten enough attention, Kagami brought up an excellent point…

"We have nothing to do…again!"

"…Capture the Flag," Shizuka blurted. I stared at her.

"You mean that little two-sided tag game we played in gym class in, like, third grade?"

"Well, yeah. We have the Akatsuki with it, so that'll make the whole thing pretty cool, ne?"

"…what're you getting at now?"

"We're the flags."

"…no comprendo?"

"I mean, the Akatsuki play the teams, with one of us 'normal' teenage girls on each team. However, the other two…" Shizuka smirked evilly.

"The other two are the prizes. The flags. Get what I'm saying?"

"…oh dear God."

While Haruka and I were staring at Shizuka in horror, Kagami jumped at the idea. "OH YEAH! I totally want Itachi-sama to protect me~"

Itachi look disturbed, embarrassed, and maybe just a little bit…pleased?

Holy snappers, he's finally falling for her.

Now it's just a matter of Sasori falling for Shizuka and we can have a…double foursome? Me and Deidara with Sasori and Shizuka while Kagami and Itachi are with Haruka and Tobi? (Z/N: I say eight-some. You perverted readers, find out a way to make it work.)

…that'd actually be interesting.

ENOUGH PERVY THOUGHTS!

"So who's gonna be the…flags?"

"Hm…how about…Haruka and I take the teams while you and Kagami are the prizes?"

"I don't think-"

"OH HECK YES! Itachi-sama~ you'll protect me, won't you?" Kagami smiled at him sweetly. Itachi blinked, and his face tinted red.

ITACHI UCHIHA IS BLUSHING. (Z/N: Obligatory WUT.)

Kagami can rest happily now…

The teams were set up as follows: Sasori, Konan, Haruka, Itachi, Hidan, and Kakuzu were on the team guarding Kagami. I found myself being guarded by Tobi, Kisame, Deidara, Zetsu, Pain, and Shizuka.

My team kicks butt. Enough said.

I AM BEING GUARDED BY THE SEXIEST BLONDE ALIVE.

Take that, bee-atch.

Of course Kagami has Itachi on her side…and he _is _one of the stronger members…

…crap.

This might not turn out as well as I hope it will.

Shizuka set up the ground rules: No killing, maiming, eating, or injuring in any way. No molesting or sexual harassment (this was directed at Hidan and Kisame). And No. YAOI. JOKES. (This was directed at Kagami, who flipped Shizuka off and whined).

Let the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games-I mean, our match of Capture the Flag/Fangirl-BEGIN!

The first main part consisted of them pacing back and forth, searching for a specific strategy that they could make work for them…

Actually, that was only a few of them. Hidan and Kisame just jumped straight into the fray.

Hidan was running right at me, and-not wanting to be molested-I screamed as loud as I could. Deidara ran up behind him and punched him in the back, smirking.

"Go to jail, un."

"DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT $200!" I called out helpfully. At the prospect of cash, Kakuzu's head snapped up, only for him to look crestfallen when he saw I was just kidding.

_Whut_. Seriously, Kakuzu?

Third Person POV

Kisame smirked to himself and dashed towards the other side, eyes on the prize. In this case, a hyper blonde with a French braid who took one look at him and shrieked like a banshee.

"ITACHI-SAMA! FISHY ALERT, FISHY ALERT!"

And Kisame also found himself in "jail."

Sasori narrowed his eyes at the mad scene before him. What to do? If he went to get Hidan out of jail, the idiot would just end up captured again. So he may as well go for the flag-er, fangirl.

He waited for an opening-which, as we know, is very difficult for him because of his hatred for waiting- when said opening came, he ran straight for it.

The other members were preoccupied with trying to catch Itachi, who had made a false run for the Fangirl to keep them busy, having sensed Sasori's plan. Which meant he only had…

Shizuka. She was standing firmly in his direct path, frowning at him. This could be tricky.

He could easily avoid her, yes, but she would alert the members and he'd get caught. But she _did_ seem to like him. Time to take advantage of that little detail. (J/N That's what she said! Or is it? *dun dun dun*)

As he moved past her, he purposefully, put his face barely three inches from hers, his brown eyes glowing faintly as she turned red and froze.

"Gomen na, Shizuka-chan." He murmured, sprinting past her for Yume, who was very surprised to suddenly find herself flung roughly over the shoulder of everyone's favorite redhead. (J/N Gaara is everyone's SECOND favorite redhead. Oh, shh, don't tell him. He gets sensitive about that) (Z/N: Jordan, be wary of anything with sand.)

"DEI-DEI I'M BEING ASSAULTED BY A PUPPET!"

Deidara whirled instinctively and made a dash to grab Sasori and tag him, to get Yume back, but Sasori was just a _little_ bit faster. Kagami's team got the first point of the game, and Yume wasn't very happy.

"YOU FREAKING PUPPET! You're supposed to rape Shizuka, not me!"

Sasori twitched. Deidara tried not to snicker.

"Yeah, Danna, put her down, un."

"Honestly, Pinocchio, if you have some kind of sexual tension, Zuka-chan is RIGHT over there!"

"DON'T CALL ME ZUKA-CHAN, YUME!"

Sasori smirked. "Put her down? Alright then."

"Danna, don't-"

_Thud_. Yume was not on the ground, twitching. Sasori looked at her with a smug expression.

"And Deidara? If you would rather keep your girlfriend from becoming a puppet, I advise you find some way to keep her mouth shut."

As Deidara paled and pulled Yume to her feet, hugging her against him protectively, Hidan couldn't resist a perverted innuendo.

"I can think of _one_ thing you could put in her mouth to shut her up!" (J/N Cause you look so much cuter…with something in your mouth!) (Z/N: You could give her some ice cream. :D Did you expect anything else?)

Needless to say, Hidan was a popular target to hit for the rest of the game.

Yume's POV, a couple hours later

It's interesting to think how a game of Capture the Flag can be fun, especially if you play it for two hours and just so _happen_ to be the flag yourself.

We were now finishing a dinner of tacos, and I was laughing my ass off at Kisame, who had done a head-meets-table action, his face practically purple, an empty glass of water in front of him, and it was very easy to imagine steam coming from his ears.

"I told you that the Tabasco sauce was spicy, Kisame. But no, you just _had_ to dump a quarter of the bottle on your taco."

"Shut…up…you…bitch…"

"You talk to Yume that way again, and I'll be forced to blow you all the way to Kingdom Come, un."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…"

It had been a while since we had a good old fashioned "Best friends and sexy criminals" movie night, so that's what we were doing…only problem was deciding on a movie.

We were currently torn between "Inception" and "Grown-Ups."

Currently, Inception was winning because violence is epic.

Remember kids: Shooting people and searching their minds is ALWAYS the answer! Even more than sex! (J/N Reference to a Nickelback song!)

…plus Leonardo DiCaprio is pretty _daaaang_ good-looking. (Z/N: Fffff, why do I agree so much?)

So, in the end, we decided to settle this the old-fashioned way: I picked up the object nearest to me-A Zekrom Pokémon card-and tossed it in the air. "Face up, we watch Inception. Face down, we watch Grown-ups."

…the card got stuck sideways between the couch cushion. I tossed it again and got Heads.

So we watched Inception. And lemme tell you, we were getting _into_ it.

Haruka was clutching at Tobi's arm at the scary parts, and he would hug her. Kagami had cuddled up to Itachi, grinning like a maniac at the blood, and he held her against her tolerantly. I was resting my head on Deidara's shoulder with his arm around my waist. Shizuka was sitting close to Sasori, but not too close for comfort.

I'm ashamed to say that I got a perverted smirk every time they said, "We need to go deeper!"

Probably the most amusing part of the whole thing was at the end when Kagami was yelling at the screen "Stop spinning! STOP SPINNING!...oh, come on, now we'll never know if it was a dream or not!"

Konan nodded. "At least he got to see his kids again, even if his wife went insane." I've noticed that Konan was becoming steadily more friendly and laid-back as time went on. We are succeeding!

Zetsu glanced at Kagami.

"Perhaps it was a dream. **Maybe all of this, right now, is a dream** and there is no true reality." Apparently, Zetsu was philosophical after watching movies…

Well, if this is a dream like he says, I know for a fact that this is one that I never wanna wake up from.

Ever.

Too bad that a dream can never last…just like good times.

And as we started going to our bedrooms, I couldn't help but wonder…

'_How much longer are they going to be with us…before it's time for them to go?'_

**I. Hate. This. Chapter. I mean, I wrote it with writers' block, so yeah. I loathe it. I also don't like the ending, but Capture the Flag was fun.**

**If you guys like it, that's up to you. :p Zek, you owe me for both the Inception reference and the Zekrom mentioning. **

**Question of the week: WHO from the Naruto world, WHAT are you both wearing, WHERE does it happen, WHEN does it start and stop, WHY does it happen, HOW is it done, and do you use protection or no? (Yes, I seriously think of this stuff…) **

**Remember to review! And check out "Ever Hateful Love" please. :)**

**Jordan out.**

_**~y U k OW i LoV YOu j dAN~**_


	23. Starry Night Festival

***using Hidan as a human shield* Please don't kill me…yeah, the "every Saturday" thing isn't working so well for this because of SCHOOL. -.- Also, you'd better wish Zek a happy birthday! She turned 14 recently~ on the sixteenth~**

**Tiryn-…I love that you're the only one to fully answer the question. XD**

**Death-Within-Me-Methinks you're gonna like this chapter. :3**

**StellaMarris-Glad I made you feel special! And that sucks about the ice cream. XD**

**ON WITH THE-forget it, we know what's next by now.**

Yume's POV

Well, the weather said it was gonna be a _gorgeous_ Saturday today. So, what else could we possibly do other than…well…the obvious?

Shizuka called up her brother and his girlfriend (because they could drive), and we all headed out to the beach. (J/N Overused in fics, but WHO GIVES A CRAP)

Masaru's girlfriend, Rachel, was someone you could _not_ help but love. The twenty-one year old girl had light strawberry-blonde hair that cut off above her shoulders, dark brown eyes, and lightly tanned skin with freckles from being in the sun.

She was _the_ definition of "All-American" girl, with a sharp tongue, a pretty smile…and a love for anything rock 'n' roll. As shown while we were being driven to the beach in her car. "We" being me, Deidara, Kagami, Kakuzu, Itachi, Konan, and Hidan while Jason had the rest in _his_ car and Rachel was driving. And how did she show her love for hard rock and roll?

"_CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES! THIS IS MY LAST RESORT! SUFFOCATION, NO BREATHING, DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I CUT MY ARM BLEEDING!"_

By singing along _and_ headbanging to Papa Roach's "Last Resort" as it played at a deafening volume on the radio.

God this girl is awesome.

The Akatsuki-at least Deidara and Hidan-also seemed to like the song. Kakuzu, Konan, and Itachi just looked annoyed.

Me and Kagami joined Rachel in on the next verse.

"_Cut my life into pieces, I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing. Don't give a fuckif I cut my arm bleeding. Do you even care if I die bleeding? Would it be wrong, would it be right? If I took my life tonight, chances are that I might! Mutilation out of sight and I'm contemplating suicide-"_

"FOR THE SAKE OF WHATEVER GOD YOU WORSHIP, SHUT UP!"

That would be Kakuzu. Apparently, he's not a Papa Roach type of guy.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL!" Kagami called back to him. Actually, he did because of how loud the music was.

"I KIND OF DO, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED!"

…we turned the radio up louder. I think Kakuzu may have cussed us out, but our singing to the hardcore rock music-plus the music itself-drowned him out.

When we arrived at the beach, he was twitching with the uncontrollable urge to kill. I suggested he take it out on Hidan after they use the transformation jutsus, and he grunted assent. Now Hidan was glaring at me, and the only reason he didn't strangle me was Deidara's arm around my waist and his own blue eyes challenging the immortal.

Admit it, ladies. You're jealous, and have all the reason to be. (Z/N: Just wait, you'll see, you'll all see.)

Deidara is smexy when he's angry, although that might just be my crazy opinion.

Rachel jumped out of the drivers' side, rolling her eyes tolerantly. We'd had to explain to her about the Akatsuki earlier, and needless to say, she'd taken it quite well.

She only accused us of all being completely freaking _insane_ about three times before agreeing to keep it a secret.

Again, this chick is awesome.

Deidara turned to me, smirking. "So, you gonna wear one of those sexy two-piece swimsuits I've seen so many pictures of on TV, un?"

"No. I don't own a bikini…but Kagami wears one!"

Kagami turned a deep shade of red. Itachi-ITACHI-also blushed slightly. Which Deidara noticed.

"Ohohoho! Itachi likes what he's hearing!"

"Shut. Up. Deidara."

"Trust an Uchiha to speak in single word sentences, hm."

"DEIDARA…"

"Okay, okay, un. I get it!"

Itachi, on the other hand, is just plain SCARY when he's angry.

Although, again, that might just be me. Kagami seemed to be fangirl spazzing over it inside her sick little mind.

Hmm…I think I know what we're gonna do today! (J/N Yes, I watch Phineas and Ferb. It's a cute show!)

"OPERATION: GET KAGAMI HOOKED UP WITH ITACHI" WILL NOW COMMENCE!

Of course, my evil little scheming was rudely interrupted by-

"DEIDARA-SENPAI TOBI MISSED YOU!"

-Madara Uchiha on a horrible mix of crack and sugar high. Seriously, that's what Tobi really is.

Deidara was not impressed.

"Tobi…the drive only took TWENTY MINUTES, hm! GET OFF OF ME!"

"But when Tobi's in another car, he can't hug his senpai!"

"Then why don't you just go hug Haruka, yeah? She likes when you do that!"

"…okay, Deidara-senpai!"

And with that, the masked idiot ran over and glomped Haruka, who giggled and hugged him back.

Is there something _wrong_ with that girl? I mean, Tobi is awesome, but she undoubtedly knows about Madara by now, and…well…I'm not sure if I like him or not. He's a pretty interesting character, but he also kills Konan. And he's plain evil and over 100 years old. (J/N That's how I feel too. I love him and hate him at the same time. xP)

But Haruka likes him, so I have to deal with it.

However much I dislike it.

The boys all got nosebleeds from our sexy bodies in our swimsuits! Haha, just kidding, we're not _that_ sexy…although the swimsuits may have helped.

Kagami was in a plain black bikini, except for the top being slightly ruffled. I won't question why she's wearing it or where she got it.

Mine was a navy blue color with purple and blue stripes on the top, a simple one piece. It's super cute, actually, with a T-strap back.

Haruka's was a light teal two-piece, you know, with the tank top and the bikini bottom? (J/N Bikini bottom…OHHHHH! WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? SPONGEBOB SQUAREP-*shot*) It looked really nice on her, and Tobi instantly squealed about how "Haruka-chan looks so cute in her swimsuit!" Before glomping her again.

Shizuka's was just a simple silver one-piece with a full back and a v-neck that showed a decent bit of cleavage. Sasori was trying not to stare, I just know it!

…even if he doesn't…

Operation Number Two: Hook up Shizuka and Sasori will now commence!

I dub this entire day…MISSION POSSIBLE! (J/N you know, I can't help but feel nostalgic for that show Kim Possible…I used to watch it all the time.)

…not very catchy, is it? Oh well. I'm using it anyway.

And may I just say that, transformation jutsus or not, the Akatsuki looked VERY smexy in their swimming trunks with no shirts? DAAANG they got abs.

Well, most of them had swimming trunks. Hidan, however…

"DEAR GOD, HIDAN! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A _SPEEDO?_"

Hidan has no shame at all. As shown by his twisted grin.

I think I just went blind, too. Like Itachi after he saw Deidara wearing a bikini in "The Tobi Show."

Look it up on YouTube if you wanna. (Z/N: Goddammit, we need to repair the 4th wall again.)

After we all finished flipping out about Hidan and the Speedo, Rachel and Masaru went to set out all the towels and such while everyone else kind of went off to do their own thing.

Of course, that was when I noticed a large cliff that outcropped into the water, about 20 feet tall with an easy climb sloped into the beach. And it went out far enough to be safe.

"Hey, you guys ever been cliff diving before?"

Deidara blinked. "I don't think so, un…" he studied me, then the cliff. Then he grinned.

"Looks fun, hm."

"No, it doesn't." Sasori disagreed, deadpan. Shizuka nodded.

Deidara and I both smirked at one another.

"Well, come on then you two! You'll LOVE this!"

"What? No, I-"

We'd already begun dragging them to meet their fate.

It didn't even take quite ten minutes to reach the top of the cliff, looking out into the water. "I'm guessing it's about ten feet deep, un. Looks safe to me."

"Not to me!" Shizuka protested as I grabbed her arm to keep her from sneaking off somewhere.

"Too bad." I said, sticking out my tongue…and pushed her.

Yeah. I pushed my best friend over a CLIFF.

Deidara did the same to Sasori-who called him a few choice words-in the same instance, and they both plummeted into the water.

_Spash!_

Shizuka was the first to come up, sputtering. "YUME, YOU ARE A TOTAL BITCH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU SOMEDAY!"

Sasori's reaction was pretty much the same after he came up. Luckily the water was warm enough that nobody could transform into kitten forms when they entered it…whew.

Although for a while after Shizuka had attempted to drown me in the water-swallowing that salt water stuff is just _nasty_-I must admit I felt pretty horrible…

…but nowhere near as horrible as Deidara felt when his Danna proceeded to beat him bloody. I opted to stay out of this one and walked back over to the rest of our group with Shizuka beside me, both of us still sulking.

"I'm not apologizing to you until you apologize for drowning me."

"TRYING to drown you."

"Whatever."

"We'll apologize at the same time?"

"…okay."

And, in unison: "I'm sorry." Yay, all forgiven, and all is well!

Back over at the site of our group, Kagami was trying to persuade Itachi to remove his shirt. The Uchiha was trying to resist, but all she had to do was bat her eyes and beg… And he pretends to be annoyed by her. Silly Weasel, you know you love her. (J/N silly weasel, Trix are for kids! :D)

So now _all_ the Akatsuki were shirtless and they looked _dayum _good.

Itachi and Hidan were…well…chiseled. There was no other way to describe it. If Kagami didn't have dibs on Itachi and I wasn't with Deidara, I'd molest them. Pain was on the same level, too… (Z/N: . Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhumolest.)

Zetsu and Tobi were more just flat and toned. Not muscular, but not scrawny either. Tobi would probably be more muscular as Madara if not for the transformation jutsu they were using.

I have no opinion on Konan as I don't know when girls are sexy. Hidan and Pain seemed to be drooling though. (J/N Not as much HidaKona in this story as I hoped, but I can still reference it :D I LOVE HIDAKONA!)

Kisame and Kakuzu were…buff. Like, _very_ buff. Abs, muscles, you name it. Normally I wouldn't be big on fish-face, but looking pretty much normal under said jutsu…dayum. Their height also helped them look good, like, NBA basketball good.

Deidara was more toned, and he looked INCREDIBLY smexy as such. Lean, wiry muscles under tan and flawless skin…a perfect flat stomach beneath a gorgeous chest with his extra mouth that seemed to be a sexy tattoo…le sigh…

Sasori kept his shirt on because he was a puppet. But I think if he was human, he'd be on the same level as my Dei-chan. Yummy. But Shizuka has dibs, and I prefer blondes, personally. (J/N Seriously, it's like a fetish for me.)

Again…yummy.

Deidara staggered back from Sasori's beating about ten minutes later, with a black eye, a nose that was probably broken, and some other nasty bruises. And blood, all over his face.

"Aw, crap…here, c'mon Dei, I can help you out with cleaning up. Konan, you help me fix his nose?" I asked, looking at the blue-haired woman, who nodded and walked over to help us out.

Cleaning up my boyfriend was simple enough-some of the others watching us with bored amusement as he flinched and complained at every touch-and we could always ice the bruises. His nose, on the other hand…

Konan stepped forward.

"Hold still, Deidara, this'll hurt."

"I know, un, I've broken my nose befo-"

He was cut off as Konan reached out and more or less twisted his nose back into position with a pretty nasty cracking noise.

"Ow…ow…OW! SON OF A-"

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:**

We're sorry, kids, but due to Deidara's extreme language, the next twenty seconds of writing have been censored. He's been hanging around Hidan and Kagami too much. Again, we're sorry for the inconvenience.

**END NOTE.**

Well that was interesting. I wasn't aware that many curse words EXISTED.

Of course, I also wasn't aware that Kagami and Itachi weren't there until five minutes later…

Itachi's POV

Kagami had pulled me away from the group a while ago, saying that there was something she wanted to show me over by some of the caves in the rocks along the edge of the coast.

Of course, knowing her, she has something dirtier in mind that will not really be completed. (J/N On-screen, at least…kolkolkol…*Russia laugh*)

"C'mon, Itachi-sama! We're almost there!" She called over her shoulder, grinning at me with that pretty smile of hers-

Pretty?

I won't question it for now.

She got tired of my lagging, and proceeded to grab me by the arm and more or less drag me where she wanted us to go. It was…an unusual spot.

It was a cave in the rocks, of course, as she mentioned earlier to me. The water came up almost to my waist which, for Kagami, was roughly the same level as her midriff.

The walls were almost colorful, covered in the clear colors of coral that were a mingling of bright and pale, with an amazing variety. Only the light from outside the cave entrance allowed me to see, and from a few small gaps in the walls and ceiling.

All in all, the cave was beautiful. But I didn't say it out loud, simply gazing around.

Kagami looked at me for a moment, her smile wavering slightly. "What do you think, Itachi-sama? It's really pretty, isn't it?"

'_Not as pretty as you, Kagami-chan.'_

All I said was "Yes, it is."

She stood there a moment, still half-submerged in the water, her expression of delight beginning to fade. "You're not happy."

"Hn?"

"You don't really care, do you?"

'_About coral? No. About you? Yes.'_

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

She watched me for a moment before turning away, her sky-blue eyes betraying her unhappiness, glimmering faintly in the dim light of the cavern.

"You don't get it, do you? I've been dropping hints, making it obvious…I really care about you, Itachi-sama, and you don't like me at all!"

'_Kagami-chan, you have no idea…'_

"That's not true."

"Oh? How so?" She turned and looked at me with a burning glare. "What am I to you, Itachi-sama? Just some annoying girl you wish would shut up and leave you alone? Or am I even worth your attention?"

"You were singing a very different tune not long ago, Kagami-chan."

"What does that have to do with anything? Itachi-sama, answer me right now…do you even give a crap if anything happens to m-"

She broke off with a squeak when I caught her by the shoulders, pressing her against the cave wall-a patch not covered with the coral-and looked her directly in the eye.

"How many times have I told you not to call me '-sama'?" I asked her in a low voice, watching with a bit of a smirk as she began blushing.

"I-Itachi-sama…"

"You'll never learn, will you, Kagami-chan?"

'_I can no longer avoid this…it is wrong denying this. Both to her, and myself.'_

"You are rather cute when you blush, Kagami."

She only blushed more at that comment, as I had wanted. I leaned forward, closer to her.

"Perhaps…I can make you blush a bit more? See…just how red you can turn…"

And then it was my lips moving against hers, the rest of the world fading out of existence.

Yume's POV, later that night

The day at the beach was definitely fun. Kagami and Itachi returned without a word, but we could guess what had happened by how Itachi held her close and kissed her softly and frequently.

Our day was also productive. All of us-excluding Sasori and Shizuka-tried the cliff diving and greatly enjoyed ourselves.

Kagami tried and failed to drown Kisame on several occasions while we all laughed, and Masaru taught the Akatsuki how to surf.

Oh, and I made out with Deidara about ten times after Konan healed him with her surprising skills with medical jutsu. Screw how PDA is frowned upon at school, it's awesome!

We also buried Hidan in the sand, leaving him as just a very angry head for about thirty minutes before finally unburying him. He was not thrilled with the sand in his…Speedo.

So, yes, a very productive day.

But now it was roughly 10:30 at night on a Saturday. But no, there was no-ahem-"over-exciting romance" going on…actually, Masaru and Rachel had ditched us at the beach by Shizuka's request.

Why would Shizuka request that?

There was a meteor shower going on, that's why!

So we and the rest of the Akatsuki were all sprawled out on beach towels to watch the show. I looked at Deidara and spoke to him softly as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"I just hope this doesn't turn out how it did when I tried to watch one last year with my family."

"What happened, yeah?"

"My dad woke me up at 4:30 in the morning, and we had maybe one star every five minutes. This one's supposed to be bigger, though." (J/N true story. I gave up after twenty minutes. -_-; )

Deidara laughed before turning back to the sky.

"I always found shooting stars fascinating…there for only a moment, leaving but a memory. Just like my art, hm." He smirked slightly as he spoke.

We'd set up the Ipod, which was playing an English version of a Miku Hatsune song I found online…it seemed fitting to this. A soft, peaceful piano sound and a clear soprano voice.

"_Peacefully, you're sleeping in profile to me. What kind of dream…are you dreaming? I see a tear...sliding down your cheek. What kind of world, are you in?"_

Haruka was snuggled up close to Tobi with her head on his chest, smiling up at him adoringly despite the fact that-as the beach cleared out-he'd dropped his jutsu and was now just a masked man with no shirt. How she could adore a mask, I don't know.

"_I've been nursing…this…feeling. That I had, for a moment, you never knew."_

None of us knew what had happened with Kagami and Itachi earlier when they'd gone missing, but I had a good idea that it had been good. His arms was curved around her protectively while she was pressed up against him. If they were any closer, they'd be one and the same.

"_Last night, good night. Last night, good night. For the last night I lie, could I be with you?"_

Sasori was letting Shizuka rest her head on his shoulder while he stroked her hair absently with his hand. Regardless of what he says, I know he cares for her. Stupid stubborn puppet.

" _Holding your hand, I lie next to you…and kiss you good night."_

"Oh, look, up there!" Konan called out, pointing as the first streak of light appeared for a brief instance. Everyone now snapped to attention, searching the deep blue sky for more meteors among the other stars.

"_I wish I could see the morning sun with you. Like we once did, I remember it was so sweet. I wish you would always stay here with me. I'm waiting for a miracle to happen."_

Deidara looked at me for a moment, his blue eyes glinting. "Hey, Yume? I have something to tell you, hm."

"_I can't leave you behind, there is just too much that I have to say…"_

"What is it, Deidara-kun?" I'd taken to referring to him as the honorific of '-kun' only recently.

"_Last night, good night. Last night, good night. Even if my voice is gone, I'll always sing this melody. Last night, good night."_

"I love you, Yume, hm."

I wasn't sure if he was serious or not. I stared at him for a moment in quiet surprise, the others all excitedly motioning and whispering as the stars fell faster and more often all fading into the background.

"_Last night, good night. I'm lost in thought…"_

"I…I love you too, Deidara-kun." I whispered softly, feeling my face heat up slightly as I spoke those words that meant so much, to anyone.

"…_about the day when I have to be without you. So I'll just wish upon a star…"_

He leaned forward, and so did I. Kissing underneath a shower of shooting stars…there is nothing more romantic than that.

My god, the song only made things better…

"_That you'll never stop smiling…"_

I really do love this guy. There's no other way to put it.

"_So long, good night."_

…

…

…

…

The meteor shower ended about thirty minutes later. As we didn't have somebody to drive us back to the house, we were stuck walking. It's my house, so I lead the way…er, I _tried_ to lead the way.

You may not know this, but my sense of direction isn't worth crap.

"How can you get lost…ON THE WAY YOU YOUR OWN HOUSE?"

"Shut up, Kakuzu, I can figure this out!"

"**Obviously you can't **or we'd be there by now."

"Again, guys, shut up! I can do this!"

"Yume, I know where your house is better than you do, and I've only been staying there since the Akatsuki showed up!"

"DANG IT, SHIZUKA!"

…it took us twenty minutes to get back home.

Way to end a romantic night, huh? But the main reason my sense of direction was worse than usual was because I was…distracted. Deidara's words kept echoing in my ears.

"_I love you, Yume, hm."_

**So, yeah…again, I apologize for the late update. As mentioned, updates will be slowed, particularly since I have that history paper I SHOULD be writing…but this chapter is the longest yet, and probably my favorite to write.**

**Link to the Vocaloid song dub in the chapter: http:/ www . youtube . com / watch ?v = 0XfGMqsNIjo&feature = results _ main & play next = 1&list = PLD1EF02698F3CA4AF**

**Without the spaces, of course. :3 It really is a beautiful song~**

**Question of the Update: Yes, I changed it because of late updates…anyway, um, for the question…uhhhhhh…if you got sent to the Naruto world, what would be your reaction/things that you do within…say…three days before you came back here?**

**GOODBYE! And review~ You receive more fluffy fanservice that way~**

_**~And remember kids, SARDINES, DOOD~**_


	24. Puppet Strings

**Um…I'm sorry? *hides***

**IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I'm working on a story competition my state is having so I can meet the author of The Inheritance Cycle-uh, I mean, school. Yeah, school. (Eragon fangirls, do not kill me plz. You no get chapters if you do) Um…yeah…question/comment time:**

**Mad Zia Magdalena-Why, thank you. It's always nice to be worshipped. ;3**

**SweetzJunkie-Wyatt. Courtney. They're really the only bad characters. xP Fun fact: Wyatt's appearance and stalker tendencies are based off a kid I know in real life. He's my BFF's ex-boyfriend, and he basically stalked her for a few weeks…but he wasn't an insane rapist with homicidal tendencies. xP**

**GEMfaerie-This is actually to your question on "Living but Lifeless"…that'd be me that is the writer. Zek is far too lazy…*shot repeatedly by Zek* OW!**

**This chapter is Sasori/Shizuka-centric, BTW. Pairings have been speeding up because I've spent long enough drawing them out. XD**

Shizuka's POV

…_I hate this. I hate this stupid nightmare that I always seem to have. It's been recurring since I was just a kid. I can never escape this stupid dream._

It started off seeming normal enough. I was sitting in the back seat of a car, only eight years old, my hair strawberry blonde instead of dyed bright green. My mom was driving up front, and my sister Aki was sitting in the passenger side, feeling proud of herself that she had gotten the shotgun side before Masaru could.

Masaru was beside me, a fourteen year old boy and already complaining to our mom about the situation, his hazel eyes as wide and innocent as possible while Aki laughed in the front seat.

Of course, I knew what was gonna happen next. I'd seen this dream too many times _not _to know. I saw the car before anyone else could. It was swerving like the driver didn't know what he was doing.

In other words, the guy was drunk out of his mind.

My mom looked out at the road just as the man swerved towards us and went straight towards the passenger side, where Aki was sitting. My mom shouted and slammed on the brakes. Aki whirled, opening her mouth with a scream.

And then I wasn't me anymore. I heard Aki's voice coming out of my mouth, I heard Masaru yelling and myself crying in the backseat. I was my sister now, and the car crashed into us. My head jerked back as the passenger side took the hit. There was a loud snapping sound, searing agony.

"_Shizuka-chan. Wake up."_

My eyes flew open, and instantly met a pair of fawn-colored ones. Beautiful brown eyes that looked so concerned and with such long eyelashes, a sleepy sort of look, and those eyes belonged to a face that was framed with bright red hair-

Oh, god.

Sasori was sitting on my bed. He was staring at me.

He was literally _two inches _from my face.

What he was doing on the top bunk where I usually sleep, I have no idea.

"Sa…Sasori-san…"

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly, pulling back as I sat up shakily."You were whimpering in your sleep. You sounded scared."

He actually cares that I was being terrified by a recurring nightmare that actually happened?

"Yeah…I'm fine," I finally said. "It was just a bad dream. It happens to me a lot."

"A lot?"

"…it's a recurring nightmare."

"I see."

No, he probably didn't.

"Um…what exactly are you doing up here?"

"It's calming."

"…calming?"

"To watch you sleep. You looks so peaceful most of the time…. guess you could say I almost miss sleep sometimes." (J/N First person to make a Twilight joke gets fed to Zetsu)

I blinked at him. "Should I be disturbed or not?"

He chuckled softly. "That's all up to you, Shizuka-chan."

"…that's one way of putting it…"

I watched him quietly as he climbed down the ladder back to the floor, pausing for a moment to glance at Yume and Deidara, who were still cuddling in their sleep, no doubt!

…_I wonder if…does he like me?_

Well I knew I still liked him. And now I was thinking…

Sasori had shown interest in my drawing abilities many times before, often commenting that if I refused to believe I was good at drawing, then my standards must be impossibly high because they were some of the best art he'd seen since his.

But back on subject: Sasori seemed to like my sketches, so maybe if I made one for him, just as a gift…?

Would he like me a little bit more than?

…I was acting so much like Hinata is with Naruto around him it's almost funny. Although I WON'T start making rice balls with his face on them. (J/N No offense to Hinata, not at all. I love NaruHina too much for that. The rice ball thing is just too funny, though XD)

Yeah. I would draw him a picture, something he would really enjoy. Not just a simple sketch of wolves or tigers or even just scenery, something that would mean a lot to him.

And I knew just what to draw…

A Few Days Later (In chapter Timeskip! MUAHAHAHA!)

"Oh, come ON, Shizuka, just show me what it is!" Yume whined, trying to look over my shoulder as I once again covered the picture I was working on, keeping it out of her sight.

"Not happening, sistah."

"But you've been working on it for THREE DAYS!" She poked my shoulder, trying to push my arm away. We were in art class at school, and because we'd both finished our assignment, had free-time.

Now, even the non-artistic kids in our grade liked art class, simply because of how laid-back our teacher was. She let us talk in class as long as we didn't go overboard, gave us plenty of time to work on our projects. She also played music, like, _good_ music. You know, Breaking Benjamin, Skillet, Green Day, all that good stuff. (J/N Seriously. My art teacher does this. I LOVE HER CLASS TO DEATH.)

And bonus for me and my friends: _she understood anime_. She refered to it as another art-style, and even had a book on how to draw manga that she let us borrow-

Got off track there, didn't I?

So basically, we were chilling in art class and I was working on my picture for Sasori. That sums it up, right?

Oh, yeah, and Yume was being annoying.

But on the bright side, I'd finally finished it. Every detail was as exact as I could possibly get it. Every. Last. Detail.

What can I say, I'm a perfectionist.

"Why won't you show meeee?" Yume whined. I am so glad she's the only person I really talk to in this class, otherwise, I'd get annoyed so fast…

Well, there was one other person I used to talk to. A certain jerk with brown eyes and freckles who_ used_ to be my boyfriend; stupid Wyatt and his stupid rapist attitude.

May a rattlesnake find its way into his underwear drawer. (J/N Seriously, that'd HURT.)

Speaking of the jerk himself, he was currently glaring at me from across the room. He'd been doing that a lot lately. To be honest, it freaks me out. I've heard rumors that a few kids have seen him smoking when he's outside the school grounds.

May he also die a painful death of lung cancer. (J/N I know, cancer isn't anything to joke about, but it WOULD be fitting for him.)

Anyway, art was my last class of the day, so after that school was out and we were getting our stuff to go home when a boy I recognized as Bryce, one of Wyatt's friends. Oh joy, sooo happy to see him.

"What do you want, Bryce?" I snorted, I mean, the kid had been arrested for being involved with drugs only a few months ago! Alright, so it'd turned out he hadn't taken any part, but I still don't like the jerk. No matter what his girlfriend says.

Who's his girlfriend? Why, none other than Courtney! Ain't that the cutest, folks? The hooker who had banged Hidan only a couple weeks ago had a boyfriend who was rumored to use marijuana!

It just gives me the warm fuzzies every time I imagine it. (Z/N: Ohhh baby.)

Sarcasm aside, let's see what he has to say, shall we?

"Hey, Shizuka. What's up?"

"Besides the ceiling?"

"Ha, ha, very funny. Anyway, Wyatt wants to talk to you."

"Then why can't he come over here himself?"

"Just…c'mon. He wants to talk."

"And I don't want to talk to him." I said simply, slamming my locker door and pulling on my backpack. "I have nothing to say to that rapist jerk."

And with that, we began the walk home.

Third Person POV

"Just that. She didn't wanna talk to you, Wyatt."

Wyatt gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, punching the wall hard. Then wincing as his knuckles were scraped, bruised, and bloodied simultaneously by the brick wall of the school.

"Little bitch…" His eyes turned sort of sad for a moment. "I still want her, even if she's too busy fucking that redhead to care."

Bryce flinched when he saw the blood on his friend's hand. Said friend that he was beginning to worry about when it came to sanity.

"Dude…you alright?"

"…fine. I'm going home," Wyatt muttered, turning and walking off quickly, clutching at his bloody hand.

"Shizuka…I'll make you regret this…"

Sasori's POV

I wasn't sure what to think when Shizuka told me that she wanted to talk to me alone, with a shy sort of smile. She was holding her sketchbook, which intrigued me. Her drawings were always nice to look at.

She has the makings of a great artist if she would only get over her shy "I'm no good at it" attitude. Honestly, she's good at it.

I don't give compliments easily, either.

"What is it you want, Shizuka-chan?" I asked politely after she'd pulled me out of the living room where Kagami was cuddling and kissing Itachi on the couch while Yume and Deidara chatted about their day and Haruka and Tobi ganged up to annoy everyone else.

"I just…well…" She was blushing, glancing away. It was almost cute.

Cute? Since when did I think of things as 'cute?' Usually I see in terms of black and white. Will this puppet be useful, or a failure? Simple things like that.

But here I was now in the room that we shared with Yume and the brat, with the door shut while she stood there uncomfortably, holding that sketch book.

"Um…well…Sasori-san, I…um…"

She finally sighed and sat down on the bed. I paused a moment, then sat beside her.

"You what, Shizuka?"

"…I…I like you a lot, so, um…I just wanted to give you something, so…here." She flipped open her sketchbook and pulled out a page that was already loose, like she'd torn it out earlier, and handed it to me.

I looked at her quizzically for a moment and looked at the picture…my heart froze. I stared at it in shock and silence.

It was a picture of me. The teenage boy I appeared to be, at least, but I wasn't in my Akatsuki robe. I was just in an ordinary outfit, something worn by many shinobi in the sand village. I could tell somehow that she had meant for me to seem more human than puppet.

But the most noticeable fact was the other people in the picture…

It was a picture of me with my parents.

Shizuka's POV (SO MANY SWITCHES! Gomen nasai…)

I looked at him quietly as he stared at the picture in shock. That kind of worried me. Maybe it had been too sensitive of a subject for me to approach.

Maybe I'd only hurt him…

"If you don't like it, that's fine. I…just wanted to let you know and…give you something…" My voice shook slightly as I stood up and started walking away.

'_Baka, baka, BAKA! How could I be so stupid? He doesn't have emotion, so how could he like me in the way I like him? And now I've only reminded him of his parents. He probably hates me now-'_

'_Huuuuuuhhhhh?'_

All of a sudden, I found myself unable to move, like I was literally frozen in my spot unwillingly. I turned my head, the only mobile part of my body, and looked at him quizzically.

He was watching me with a perfectly blank face. The picture was on the bed beside him. Puppet strings were coming from his fingers and connecting to me.

"Shizuka. Stop being so unsure of yourself. How could I ever dislike one of your drawings?"

Oh my god…

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. (Z/N: Ohmahgehh.)

I found myself walking, well, actually being forced to walk back over to him. Curse you, puppet strings!

"Sasori-san…?"

"You don't need to be formal with me, Shizuka." He was smiling slightly now as he pulled me onto the bed beside him. I felt myself shiver as his arms wrapped around me. It feltvunusual.

Puppets weren't necessarily warm and cuddly, but I could swear I feel sparks fly.

And no, Sasori did not burst into flames because of said sparks. All puppet-joke makers will be fed to Zetsu. (J/N They can join the Edward Cullen reference-makers.)

He looked at me for a moment with those gorgeous eyes I'd learned to love, and smiled a bit more.

"You're a strange girl, Shizuka. The first girl I've taken any notice of in years. And the first person to give me emotion in this puppet form of mine."

We were leaning in close to each other…

You know, kissing Sasori is kind of unusual. His lips aren't warm or chapped or anything like how people would describe a kiss…they're just…cool. Smooth. But they weren't motionless either…

I guess he must have made them of a softer type of wood or something. More mobile.

So, yes. Kissing him was strange, but in no way was it unpleasant.

Somehow in the back of the mind, I knew he was doing this just for me, because he couldn't feel it at all.

But I didn't care.

My first official kiss, since Wyatt's attempted rape-kiss doesn't count.

No tonsil-hockey or anything, if he could even possibly do that…it was just a kiss.

And I loved every single second of it.

**Aw, isn't that sweet. Shizuka got to kiss Sasori… I don't like this chapter too much. -.- But it's not filler, so oh well. I described how it'd be like to kiss him as best as I can imagine.**

**Okay, so who all has read the newest chapter of Naruto? The one that blew my brain cells? If you haven't, then…SPOILER WARNING.**

**Okay, so that box Kabuto brought up that he never opened?...Madara was inside. MADARA WAS INSIDE. Like, as he appeared at Konoha's founding. That Madara. So it makes me wonder…**

**Question of the Update: If the "real" Madara in the manga is dead, then who is the "current" Madara? Personally, I think it's either Madara using Obito's body and not his own, or just Obito with amnesia/something wrong with his brain. (He DID get crushed by rocks…) But I want YOUR opinions…although I will be keeping him as the real Madara for the fanfic and probably all my others.**

**Plus, even more importantly on that subject: If Haruka isn't dating the "real" Madara, who the bloody heck is she making out with all the time?**

**Review! PLEASE FOR MY SANITY REVIEW! Oh, also: MY BIRTHDAY IS NEXT THURSDAY! The twentieth! :D I'm finally turning 13! HALLEJULAH I'M A TEENAGER! So you can review as a b-day gift, too~**

_**~And remember kids, goddammit, all of you watch Marble Hornets~**_


	25. This is Halloween

**A quick note: to all my readers of Ever Hateful Love, sorry, but I'm taking a short break from it. I'll get a bunch more of it done after this fic is finished, but right now, two fics at once is just frustrating. X_X But I will NOT discontinue it!**

**IN other news: I got Super Smash Bros. Brawl and a Deidara plush for my birthday. I AM SATISFIED.**

**SakuraDreamerz-Holy…TWO DAYS? I can't even read Eragon in two days, and I'm the fastest reader in my GRADE! And…well...no spoilers on your Wyatt thing. ;3 But something IS gonna happen.**

**Innocent-Psycho-I'm cosplaying as Konan for Halloween. I did it last year too, but the cosplay still fits, so…XD**

**Yuti-chan-That is probably the most unique theory I've heard. It confused me a bit, but it's certainly food for the thought. :3**

**Rvlakia Kavair: Sure, I'd be glad to! I haven't actually seen Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but I'd still be willing to look over your writing. ^^**

**FUN FACT: After this chapter, the plot's gonna pick up a bit…you know, I've noticed that Yume isn't really the "main" character anymore. XD They all are because of how the POV switches so much…ah, well, it's easier for me that way. But in my mind she is because she'll probably have the most POVs, and it started that way.**

Yume's POV

Sasori and Shizuka were refusing to speak of whatever the heck had happened about three days ago, but I have a _pretty_ good feeling I can guess.

THEY TOTALLY DID IT. Ha ha, I kid, I kid. But I'm pretty sure they made out a little bit, because they've been _pretty_ cuddly these past few days…

Although, let's get to the problem at hand, shall we?

IT'S HALLOWEEN, GODDAMMIT.

Now I, personally, love Halloween. I'm _seventeen,_ and I still trick or treat, just because we get to break four rules our parents have:

1. Don't go out in the neighborhood at night.

2. Don't pull hilarious pranks.

3. Don't dress up weirdly and go into public.

4. Don't accept candy from strangers.

See? We get to break all the rules and nobody says _anything._

But now we will get back to the problem at hand: Halloween. We need costumes for Halloween night. For the dance at our school _and_ for the Trick or Treating itself.

These was why Kagami, Shizuka, Haruka and I were at our local store shopping for costumes. Shopping for costumes both for us and-of course-our dearly beloved criminals that were at home in their kitten forms. Which I had put them in just because I didn't want them wrecking my house…well, actually…

Actually, I trust them; I just haven't gotten to call Hidan "Fuzzbutt" in a while. That never gets old, in my opinion.

"Hey, what do you think about this for Deidara?" Kagami asked innocently, holding up what I could only describe as a freaking Britney Spears cosplay.

"You put that back right now, Kagami."

"Why?"

"Because if you dress my boyfriend like Britney Spears, I'll dress Itachi as Justin Freakin' Bieber." (J/N YEAH. I WENT THERE. I'm not implying that Itachi looks like Justin Bieber in ANY way. 'Tis a mere joke.)

Kagami put the costume back.

"Hey, guys, think I'd look cute in this?" Haruka asked chirpily. She was the one who focused on 'cute' more than 'scary.' As such, she was wearing a dark red dress with a black ribbon tied around the waist, no sleeves, and a knee-length skirt. She also had a pair of black cat ears and tail.

"Looks good to me," I said, giving a thumbs-up. Haruka grinned and ran off to go find a costume for Tobi.

"What should I get for Sasori?" Shizuka asked, frowning slightly. Her own costume was that of a witch. A black short-sleeved shirt with a red rose brooch on her left boob-she claimed it was simply an "unfortunate placement"-that flared out around her hips, coming down to her thighs, and black leggings. Her hat was the classic which hat.

"You're a witch? Make him a warlock."

"DRESS HIM LIKE PINNOCCHIO!"

"Kagami, you're not helping!"

"I knooowww~"

"Maybe a vampire? Vampire-ism seems like something Sasori would do. Or…CHUCKY!"

"No. Vampire, maybe, as long as there's no sparkles."

"I cannot believe you made that joke."

"Shut up. I'll just find a costume that'll make him look like Drocell. From Black Butler?"

"Your other favorite puppet? You have a FETISH, girl."

"A puppet fetish, or a redhead-slash-ginger fetish?"

"Both."

"Screw you." (J/N LONG LINES OF CONVERSATION ARE LONG)

So while Shizuka searched to find Sasori's Drocell cosplay pieces, I started looking around to find my own.

I wanted to have something to do with Deidara's costume, which would _not_ be Britney Spears, but I also wanted to get his attention. Something I would look good in. Something like-

"YUUUUUUUMMMEEEEE!"

_Not_ like Kagami after she just drank a Monster before coming shopping with us.

"Do you think Itachi-sama would like me if I wore this costume~" She chirped, her blue eyes shining as she held up a Geisha girl outfit.

"It looks good to me. Yeah, I think he'll like it. But one question…how the HECK are you gonna wear those sandals?"

"…I'll figure something out!"

"Of course you will…"

She ran off and I resumed looking at costumes, smiling at the one I picked out for Deidara. It was a dark green camouflage soldier outfit with a fake rifle, knife, and some grenades…fake ones, of course. I don't want my boyfriend blowing up our school.

…or maybe…

Nah, too risky. I don't wanna get arrested, nor do I want Deidara arrested.

So Deidara would be a soldier. I wanted to pick out a costume that could have something to do with it.

But they didn't have very many girl soldier costumes. Unless maybe…

Well, it wasn't _only _soldiers on the field, now was it?

I smirked as I held up my costume.

"Deidara is going to LOVE me in this."

Indeed he would.

Timeskip

"You want us to…dress up…and go to a dance at your school, yeah?" Deidara said, looking puzzled. Of course he may have looked a bit _more_ puzzled if he didn't have his arm around my waist, hugging me at the time.

I love my blonde. And he knows it, dang it, because he loves me too!

You know you're jealous, fangirls. _Suck it_.

Back on topic, now, Kagami nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, exactly! We gotta get all dressed up, go out and party, then run around and get candy from people!"

"OH! OH! Candy? TOBI CAN HAVE CANDY?

"No. Tobi doesn't need sugar. At all," Sasori said, his eyes widening slightly at the thought. All of the Akatsuki looked horrified at the thought.

"Yes. Tobi can have candy. Because he'd just steal it from us anyway if we gave him none." Kagami said, laughing. Tobi nodded eagerly, and everyone groaned.

"The little fucker gets candy? We're all fucking screwed." Hidan groaned. Haruka frowned at him, but then giggled as Tobi hugged her.

"And we got you guys costumes, too," I said. "Well, now, let's all get ready and go to the par-tay!"

The outfits were actually pretty dang sweet. Kisame, Zetsu, and Kakuzu we just had use a small henge on their eyes so they looked like they _were_ in costume. Very good, yet scary, costumes. And we also smeared some fake blood on Kakuzu.

Pain was dressed as the devil. His outfit was all read, with little devil horns and a little devil tail. It was hilarious. He might've killed us if Konan-in a white dress with a halo and wings-hadn't stopped him.

Hidan was a freakin' _grim reaper_. We gave him a tattered black cloak styled to look bloodstained, a blood-red shirt, black jeans, and Shizuka painted black circles around his eyes to make him look creepier than ever. We also gave him a fake scythe…he was very annoyed to see it was fake.

Tobi was-like Haruka-an animal person. But we had him use a transformation jutsu over his mask, giving him the appearance of a brown-haired boy with equally brown eyes…and then gave him furry wolf ears and a tail. It was actually adorable, especially when he wiggled around to make the tail wag.

Haruka thought it was adorable.

Itachi was-you're not gonna believe it-a PIRATE. He had the long-sleeved white shirt, the tattered pants, the eye patch, and the captain's hat. And a fake parrot that we stuck to his shoulder. Kagami literally tried to molest him where he stood. He rolled his eyes and smiled, kissing her forehead softly and hugging her.

D'AWWWWW.

Sasori looked pretty good in his Drocell costume. For those who don't know how it looks, I'll describe: A black top hat with a red ribbon, a blue coat with red trim and gold buttons, and blue pants. Shizuka had painted a blue symbol beneath his left eye, and traced around his eyes with black. Even if his hair was still more red than orange, it looked nice.

Deidara grinned down at his own costume. He looked good, and appreciated the grenades, but seemed disappointed when I explained they were fake…ah, well.

Now it was time for us to get in our costumes. I told you about Haruka, Shizuka, and Kagami's, right? Well mine was…ummm…

You know those "sexy nurse" costumes you always see? Short white dresses, red trim, red cross, and a cute little hat?

Yeah. I'm a sexy, naughty, bitch nurse. (J/N I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy~)

Deidara's jaw dropped to the floor, and he practically started drooling.

I loved his facial expression and walked over to him, closing his mouth.

"Calm down, Dei-chan, I'm wearing panties underneath all this sexy."

Now he pretty much passed out with a trickle of blood coming from his nose…

I'm just that good.

I said it once and I'll say it again: _suck it_.

Timeskip

"Holy fuck there's a lot of people here!" Hidan said, eyes wide. The rest of the Akatsuki had the same wide-eyed looks. It was pretty funny.

"Well, yeah. It's the high-school dance," I said, blinking. "You got freshmen, sophomores, the juniors like us, and the seniors."

"Is this…EVERYONE?" Konan asked, looking nervous at the thought. I laughed and shook my head. "No, but it _is_ most of them."

"So…what do we do?"

These guys have never been to parties before, have they? Or at least not for a long time.

"Well, I dunno. Just go around, dance, talk, hang out, play some of those games," I said, pointing at their little "Bob For Apples" thing going on, "or just grab some snacks from the table. Things like that."

After explaining to them that they could, _in no way_, use their real names, blow their cover, use chakra, kill/maim/injure anyone, we let 'em run loose.

And as such, unleashed all hell on our school.

Third Person POV

Shizuka found herself lost from the group after a while, and started wandering, feeling relaxed. It was sort of calming, really, being around all these people. All the colors blurred everything together, and the voices and music were just white noise.

But still, the green-haired girl in the witch costume found herself noticing two people she wished would drop dead.

Wyatt was dressed as an escaped convict. Bright orange jumpsuit, letters and numbers on a tag on his chest, and his hair all messed up. His eyes had dark shadows under them, and he was wearing a pair of handcuffs that dangled off of one hand. Courtney was in a ridiculously provocative policewoman outfit, and he was cuffed to her.

'_Those two are WAAAY too close for normal cousins…'_ (J/N Actually, I'm pretty close to my cousins too…*sweatdrop* But not to the point where I'd help them become evil…ick, no…)

Luckily, the Terrible Twosome didn't notice her, and she slipped off to go and find Sasori, shaking her head slightly. She did not like the idea of what they could be up to.

Haruka had her own problem going on…namely, Madara kept on making perverted comments to her about her dress and Neko ears.

"And you say I was cute as a kitten…"

"You ARE cute as a kitten, I can turn you back any time, you know!"

"I've noticed something about you, Kitty-chan."

'_Kitty-chan?'_

"What's that?"

"It seems like since you found out about me, you're not as innocent. You're a bit more sarcastic, a bit more stubborn, and less childish. In fact…I think you might be growing some." He smirked and his eyes flickered downwards pointedly, causing Haruka to squeal and smack him.

"Eyes are on my face!"

"See, this is why I use the henge OVER my mask. Your slap didn't hurt."

"…meaner."

"Then again, maybe I'm imagining things. Ah, well." He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to her body, switching back to Tobi-mode.

"Come on, Haruka-chan, let's dance!"

Kagami and Yume, never ones to keep quiet, had jumped up on an empty table and started singing along to the music.

"_Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see, this our town of HALLOWEEN! THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN! Pumpkins scream in the DEAD OF NIGHT!"_

A geisha girl and a naughty nurse singing the Marilyn Manson remix.

Not a sight you see every day, now, is it?

Although Hidan and Itachi were both blushing slightly with minor nosebleeds. Particularly Deidara since Kagami's outfit was _slightly_ more modest.

But after a while, they jumped off the table…just in time for the DJ to put on one of the most famous dances of all time. Which was none other than…

"_Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena, Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria, cosa buena Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena…Hey Macarena!"_

Every single person in the gym dropped what they were doing and started dancing along. The Akatsuki, after the girls' pleading and explaining, also joined in, with only the more stoic member refusing.

"HEEEEY MACARENA!" Yume sang out, clapping her hands and turning 90 degrees to her right and beginning all over again. Deidara, standing right behind her, got a pretty sweet view of her ass. He liked what he saw, but dare not say it out loud, grinning like a pervert instead.

And by the end of the party-about three hours later-they were announcing the King and Queen of dance to lead them out.

Who were the King and Queen of the dance?

None other than…Hidan and Konan.

It was not possible to joke about that…

And so, much to everyone's amusement, Hidan got to slow dance with an angel…literally.

Pain was not happy about this at all. Especially since Hidan managed to cop a feel on the bluenette about halfway through the song, much to her anger.

After the party, they all went Trick or Treating…as it turns out, that was a disaster. Tobi kept screaming about candy, and people didn't want to take the teens/young adults in costumes seriously about it.

But they still managed to get their candy…which Tobi and the girls were thrilled about. The second they got home, they sprawled out on the floor with their bags full of candy and started munching away…

After witnessing the horrors of three high-school Otakus and an idiot in with a wolf-ear costume, the Akatsuki were never the same again.

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MY LOVELIES.**

**I must say I had fun with this chapter. XD Especially thinking of the costumes. Some of these events are based off of actual moments at my school's dance…Sorry it was short-ish, I didn't feel like describing all the trick or treating. X.x**

**And I just HAD to toss in that HidaKona. XD I still love that pairing to death, even if I've been neglecting it…**

**Question of the update: What has been your favorite chapter so far, and why?**

**BE WARNED! Next few chapters have a good bit of SasoShizu fluff-more than anything else-for a while. A twist you've all been waiting for is included. And then, well, you'll see. This fic is nearing its end…so sad...ah, well, I have plenty of ideas in mind. Believe me. ;3**

**REVIEW, MY DARLINGS! We get 300 after this chapter, and then I can brag to my friend Bridge7112 that Akatsukitties has as many/more reviews than her fic Happy Leaf-uh, I mean, I can feel proud of myself. Yes. That's it.**

**_I am Zek's friend. I edited in place of her because she is grounded for a while. I'm really sorry for the delay. _**


	26. Drive

**There, that wasn't so bad, was it? I had my mojo for this chapter! And my love for 300 reviews! You guys are way more awesome than I deserve. ;)**

**Death-Within-Me: Proved you wrong, didn't I? ;D**

**Dust Bunnies Anonymous: You did, in fact, get the 300th review. FEEL PROUD~**

**And that's…all the things I can really say about this. xP**

**WARNING: The following chapter includes a good bit more drama than usual. As well as an event I think we all somewhat expected. Maybe. But with a twist. Either way, viewer discretion is…NOT advised, because you're ALLL gonna want to see these next few chapters. ;)**

Third Person POV

"My god! Wyatt, are you INSANE?"

Wyatt frowned and glanced at his cousin, who was looking at him with a look of shock on her face after he spoke.

"What? It's a good plan. It'll work."

"A GOOD PLAN? You could get thrown in jail! It's bad enough that you're smoking freaking marijuana, it's bad enough that you've started drinking at age SEVENTEEN, but this is messed up!"

He raised an eyebrow.

"And you care why?"

"Because I DON'T want to go to school with people asking me 'What happened to Wyatt?' 'I heard he went to jail!' 'Are you okay?' Get real!"

"You won't have to worry about that. Because you're helping me."

"…what?"

"I need you to drive."

"Why do I have to drive?"

Wyatt grinned and took another chug from a beer can. He really did look a little bit insane; he'd grown his auburn hair out a bit in the past months since Shizuka had dumped him, and it hung almost to his chin. His eyes were shadowed from lack of sleep. He'd lost weight.

"The reason is…because I'm gonna be completely fucking drunk."

"…you really are insane."

"Oh well. You in or not?"

"…guess I'm in."

Itachi's POV

Kagami talks in her sleep.

She says some pretty interesting things, too. Such as this morning. I woke up before her, resting my hand on her back and stroking up and down gently when I heard her mumble.

Something that sounded like…

"Love you…Weasel-kun…"

Weasel-kun?

I couldn't help but smirk lightly, having a very good feeling that I knew who 'weasel-kun' was. Particularly considering the meaning of my own name.

"I love you too, Kagami-chan."

It wasn't until about ten minutes later that she actually woke up, blinking her light blue eyes that I'd grown to love.

"Hunh…? Itachi-sama…?"

I've given up on trying to make her stop calling me by that honorific.

"Good morning, Kagami-chan. Did you sleep well?"

She giggled and nuzzled against me. "Well, duh, you're sleeping next to me! And I can feel your abs~ Sooo sexy~"

I chuckled softly and kissed her cheek gently. "Kagami, did you know that you talk in your sleep sometimes?"

She blinked. "No, I didn't."

"You say some pretty interesting things, too. Now tell me…" I sat up partially, resting my chin on my hand while using my elbow to support me.

"Who exactly is 'Weasel-kun?' I heard you mention the name and the word 'love', so I want to know if there's anyone I need to place in the Tsukuyomi for a while."

"…oh god…" She blushed red and buried her face in the pillow with a squeak. I shook my head, smiling slightly in the way only two people had ever been able to make me do. The other had been my former girlfriend when I was thirteen before the Massacre, who I had only been with for two weeks. Not a true love. Just a childish fling.

"It's alright, Kagami. I knew who you meant. And as a matter of fact…" I leaned in so my lips were bare inches from her ear. "I happen to know that he loves you too."

She looked up at me, about to respond, only to be cut off by an all too familiar laugh…

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man I wish I had a video camera! This is priceless!"

Namely my partner and an immortal idiot cracking up at the scene before them.

I looked at Kagami. She looked at me.

We both looked at them, and I activated my Sharingan.

"You have a five second head start. Beginning…now."

I have never seen any shinobi run that fast in my entire life.

Yume's POV

"Hey, Shizuka, where're you going?" I asked, glancing up as she pulled on her jacket, walking towards the door. It was a pleasant Saturday morning, only about nine thirty.

"Huh? Just my house. It's only twenty minutes from here. I need to pick some stuff up and maybe talk with Masaru."

"Maybe talk?"

"Depends on if he's home. You wanna come?"

I thought about that for a moment, then shrugged and stood up. "Sure thing."

Deidara and Sasori both snapped to attention.

"You guys going out, un? Want us to come with?"

"No, we'll be fine." I assured him, walking over and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled slightly and pulled me against him, turning my head so that it was a full kiss on the lips. After a few moments he pulled me back, giving me a quick peck on the forehead.

"Alright then, if you're sure, hm."

Sasori wasn't so willing to let Shizuka go alone because, obviously, I don't count as a person in his puppety brain.

Stupid Chucky wannabe.

Finally, after almost five minutes of Shizuka convincing Sasori that she would be perfectly fine, we would be back in an hour at the most, he finally let us go.

Only for us to jump back as Kisame and Hidan tore past us with looks of terror on their faces.

Terror?

I was about to ask what was wrong when Kagami ran in, waving the skillet, and Itachi followed with his eyes glowing red.

Oh. That would be why they're running…

Shizuka and I took that opportunity to excuse ourselves from the house, followed by the sounds of cursing and screams of pain and fear.

However, a little while later, Shizuka and I had an interesting discussion.

"Yume, how did we get lost?"

"Because my sense of direction isn't worth shit."

"I think we took a wrong turn…" Shizuka mused, glancing around. "This doesn't look like the way to my house."

"Well just GREAT." I groaned, smacking a hand to my forehead.

"And of ALL the times not to be driving the car…we chose to WALK."

This sucks, doesn't it? Yes, it does.

Then, as if it had been cued in, a black Pedo-van drove up on the sidewalk beside us. I had a very bad feeling all of a sudden.

"Shizuka? Isn't…isn't that the car Wyatt's creepy dad was driving that one time?"

"Yeah, I think it was…"

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Wyatt rolled down the window of the passenger side and stared at us with blank, cold brown eyes that looked like they belonged to a mental patient.

I couldn't help but remember when we were kids, in fifth grade. Wyatt had been completely different. Still a bit obsessed with Shizuka, always following her and giving her puppy eyes. He'd been alright.

Junior high and high school, he'd become a bit more smart-alecky, a bit more of a jerk, like all boys going through puberty. But he didn't look like he belonged in a freaking ASYLUM…

"Get in the car." His voice was blunt, dull, and slurred. He looked like he was drunk. I could see Courtney sitting in the driver's seat on the other side over his shoulder. She kept her eyes on the road and didn't look at us.

Shizuka narrowed her eyes. "And why should we, you sick fuck?"

"Because o' this," he slurred and held up what looked like a gun.

He had a _gun._

I looked at Shizuka, and saw my own panic reflected in her eyes.

"Shizuka?"

"Yes?"

"I think we should get in the car."

"I agree."

We got in the car.

Wyatt was keeping an eye on us in the rear view mirror, tapping the gun threateningly in his hand as we climbed in the backseat.

"Don't even think of calling your little Boy-Toys either. I'll shoot if y' do."

Well there goes Plan A.

As Courtney started driving, making sure the windows were rolled and the doors were locked, Shizuka spoke up, shaking with fear. I knew her necrophobia must be killing her on subject of the gun right now.

"Wyatt…why are you doing...no, WHAT are you doing? And why?"

Wyatt gave a harsh laugh; even his laugh sounded crazy. Crazy and drunk.

"It's simple. I'm taking you girls outta town. To a place my folks own in Arizona."

"ARIZONA?" Me, Courtney, and Shizuka all yelled at once. Shizuka and I from shock, and Courtney in irritation.

"I am NOT driving us to Arizona! We go until the L.A. city limits, and then YOU'RE taking over!" She snapped at him. Wyatt waved her off.

"Shut up, bitch, I'm not done. I take you to Arizona, and you stay there."

"Well, why?" Shizuka said, looking shocked and upset. I can't blame her, I mean, I knew Wyatt was a jerk, but this was ridiculous.

Wyatt looked at her like she was stupid.

"So that I can keep you. You can stay there with me. I mean, it'll be okay. I can just mess with my I.D. a little bit so people think I'm 18. I can get a job. It'll work just fine-"

"Well why does Yume have to get involved?" She snapped. I looked at her, despairing. She had a point, why did he need me?

Wyatt grinned. "That's where my genius comes in handy. (J/N Genius?) I just needed a friend of yours to come with so that I know you'll behave. Keep them under lock and key and gun. You run, I shoot her. Simple."

"No, NOT simple, it's insane! And why are you so focused on me-"

"Because I wanted you!" Wyatt said, his voice cracking like a broken little kid. "Ever since we were little, and I first saw you in third grade when you first came to our school, I…I wanted you! And then you left me for that stupid redhead piece of shit-"

"YOU TRIED TO RAPE HER!" I screamed, incredibly pissed off. "Any girl would dump you after that!"

"And don't talk about Sasori that way!" Shizuka shouted fiercely, her green-dyed eyebrow drawn together in rage, a livid look on her face. (J/N Her eyebrows are green because she dyed them after her hair refused to revert to normal, so that she didn't look weird. Yume did the same, but with purple)

"I'll talk about him however I want, to you little slut!" Wyatt shouted, his freckled face turning red with anger. "I loved you, and you never loved me! You never LIKED me! And you HATED me!"

Back to the broken look. "I loved you, Shizuka, and I was so, so happy when you finally agreed to go out with me…and then when you said you'd be my girlfriend…but you never even kissed me. You were always focused on that anime you said that idiot redhead is from, and in those drawings. You never liked me back, did you?"

"Love wasn't your true feelings." Shizuka snapped. "It was lust. If you loved me, then you would have accepted my feelings, and you wouldn't have tried to tear off my clothes and pin me to the bed! I wish you'd died when Sasori threw you out that window!"

And from a girl who's terrified of death, that means a lot.

Courtney looked at Wyatt with a look of complete and utter shock on her face.

"My god, Wyatt, you tried to RAPE her? You told me that you got in a fight with some guy she was cheating on you with-"

"SHUT UP, COURTNEY!"

Courtney shut up and turned back to the road, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Wyatt nodded and turned to face forward.

"Now you girls are gonna be good girls, right? You'll do everything I say. You'll let me have anything I want when we get to the house. And I do mean anything."

Shizuka's face went pale as we both came to the same realization…

I won't lie. I actually started crying. Just shaking, my face in my hands, tears streaming down my face. I'm not someone that cries a lot, but I couldn't stop myself.

I wanted Deidara.

I wanted him to come swooping in like a hero from an old war movie, to blow Wyatt into oblivion, to take me away into the sunset and kiss me gently, wiping away my tears and comforting me.

I could tell from Shizuka's white face and clenched fists, how she closed her eyes, that she wanted Sasori in the same way.

'_This is hopeless. I can't call Deidara or Wyatt will shoot me…are we really gonna have to go through with this?_'

Turns out, no. Even stranger was who kept it from happening.

"Alright, Wyatt, that's enough. I am turning this car and taking you to the mental hospital RIGHT NOW!"

Courtney to the rescue? And, as she said, she did a U-turn into the other lane, ignoring the honking cars outside. Traffic on Saturdays was surprisingly low in this part of town.

"What? You can't do that!"

"Yes I can! You need help, Wyatt, this isn't like you! I don't even know who you are right now-"

"Courtney, you little bitch! Turn this car around right now and keep going! You said you'd go through with this!"

"You only told me to drive and help you get the girls in the car, you didn't say you were taking them to Arizona to be your little slaves!"

A vein throbbed in Wyatt's forehead.

"Turn the car and keep going!" He was holding up the gun, pointing it at her. I noticed that the safety was off, he probably didn't see the point in keeping it on.

"No, I won't!"

"TURN IT RIGHT NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME? RIGHT N-"

In his rage, Wyatt's hand jerked, and he pulled the trigger.

A bang resonated in and around the car.

I don't know what happened. It was all fast, blurry, and terrifying.

Courtney's entire body jerked to the side, and I saw blood soaking through the fabric of her t-shirt. The steering wheel whirled without a guide as her arms pulled it and she slumped to the side.

She was dead. Or at the very least, dying.

Wyatt had just killed his own cousin.

The look of horror on his face said that he knew the same thing. "Courtney, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

Then I realized something a little bit more pressing.

The car didn't have a driver and was turning right off the road. Right into the other lane of traffic. Cars behind us slammed their brakes and honked the horn.

The car skidded onto the sidewalk and slammed sideways into an apartment building. Glass shattered. I heard a crashing, banging sound as the passenger side-the side I was one-smashed against it.

I hear Wyatt's frantic shouting as he was pulled around in his seat, his head smacking the dash before the airbag could go off.

I felt Shizuka's fingernails raking down my arm as she screamed in panic.

My throat felt raw with pain, and I heard an even louder scream, my own.

I was flung forward like a rag doll, and felt a sharp pain in my chest, accompanied by a snapping sound…ribs? I don't know.

I think that's when I passed out.

Deidara's POV

When the phone rang, all of us jumped. I mean, we knew what it was by now, but it still surprised us. And we knew how to use it too.

Kagami looked at me when I got up to go see who was calling.

"What're you doing, Barbie? It's probably for Yume, just let the answering machine get it."

I rolled my eyes and picked up anyway. The Caller ID said…the hospital?

"Hello, un?"

"Yes. Uh, this is Masaru, you know, Shizuka's brother? Is this Deidara? I think I recognize your voice…" His voice was shaky and upset. I could hear more voices in the background and…sirens?

"Yeah, I know you. And this is Deidara." I glanced over and mouthed 'Masaru' to everyone. Kagami and Haruka looked curious.

"So what's up, hm?"

"…there was a car accident, further off in town, and…well…Yume and Shizuka were caught in it. They were unconscious in the backseat, and it doesn't look g-"

I dropped the phone and ran for the door. I was only dimly aware of Kagami running over to pick it up in response. All I knew was that I had to get to the hospital…and fast.

'_Yume-chan!'_

…**oh I am so evil. You must hate me right now. Now watch, I won't update for a month just to make you all fall out of your chairs when I DO update. MUAHAHAHA! Kidding. Although I must admit, I almost felt bad for Courtney in the last part. :/ Stupid Wyatt. And I don't like the ending much either.**

**QoTU: What do you think is GOING to happen to Wyatt? Not what you WANT to happen, but what you think is GOING to happen.**

**Also, on subject of the latest chapters involving the Madara issue: No, I will not be changing anything up. I will still keep the original idea of Madara as Tobi's true identity simply because I don't want my life to get complicated. Tobi and Madara are still the same person in my mind because I don't want my brain to explode thinking anything different. And they always will be. Just in case you were wondering how I would go about that.**

**So, sorry to those who were looking forward to Madara confessing to Haruka that he isn't even who he says he is NOW. :)**

**Review, my lovelies, otherwise I won't update~**

**_~Freakin' race against time to get this posted. Remember kids, despite the fact that it's endless enjoyment, playing around with a dead, naked chick's face as a detective in the American Noire period is morally wrong.~_**


	27. Death

**Pfft. I love how nobody noticed the Itachi/Kagami moment in the last chapter. XD Bwahahaha.**

**I'm answering NO questions this chapter. It'll all be answered on its own. :3 Well, more or less.**

**I was kind of startled by how many people were upset over Courtney getting shot. Therefore, I altered my design a little.**

**You're welcome.**

Yume's POV

When I woke up, my head was pounding like I had a hangover, and I was completely freaking out, trying to figure out the situation and remembering the car accident.

I was in a hospital bed? Yeah, that's right. Hospital bed, and one of those rooms they have people who are in recovery stay in.

My chest hurt a lot; every time I breathed, a sharp stab of pain made me bite my lip. Yep, ribs are definitely broken. If Konan knows medical ninjutsu like everyone says, though, I should be fine as soon as I get home-

Scratch that. I just got glomped by two teenage girls, a blonde and a black-haired girl. Um, OW.

"YOU'RE AWAKE YUME! We were sooo worried! You've been unconscious for three hours, Masaru said, but that was cause they had to give you sedatives from how hysterical you were." That was Haruka

"YAY YOU'RE ALIIIIVE! You have no idea how freaked out Deidara's been!" That was Kagami, obviously.

"Ow, both of you get off me! And two things. First off…I was hysterical? I don't remember that."

"Masaru said you were unconscious when they found you, and you had a concussion. You woke up on the way to the hospital, then freaked out and started screaming for Deidara. And they gave you some knockout stuff when you got to the hospital, so I guess you didn't remember it."

I thought a moment. That made sense. Then I posed my second question.

"So…where's Deidara? Shizuka? Wyatt and Courtney? Oh, god, is Courtney even ALIVE?" I remembered her getting shot.

"Deidara had to go to the bathroom, otherwise he'd still be in here too. Shizuka's in another room, but she woke up first. Sasori's with her," Kagami explained. "Her ribs are bruised but not broken, but then again, she also had her shoulder dislocated, and a nasty cut from a piece of broken glass. She had to get stitches, and there's gonna be a scar. But her hair hides it."

I winced sympathetically. Haruka picked up where she left off.

"And as for the other two, well, they're alive. The bullet was lodged in Courtney's side, and it didn't hit anything vital, but her ribs are horrible and she won't be moving much any time soon, let alone leaving the hospital. Wyatt's pretty much brain-dead; his head got hit even worse than yours. Doctors say he might not wake up."

I smirked slightly at that, only feeling the faintest hint of guilt at my satisfaction. "Serves him right. At least Courtney's alright. I thought she died after that gunshot went off and she fell over bleeding."

At their puzzled looks, I started to explain.

"Courtney was actually trying to stop him when he went crazy like that. She was trying to turn the car around, he shot her, and…well…crash."

Kagami winced. "Well, my opinion of her has changed. Slightly. But I still wanna hit Wyatt with a skillet and knock him out if-slash-when he wakes up. He's a total mess, though. The drugs and drinking didn't help."

"So all the drugs rumors were true? I could tell he was drunk, but-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence because that was when my beloved blonde walked in the door…well, half-walked. When he saw that I was sitting up and awake, he instantly rushed over by me with ninja speed, grabbing me by the shoulders-gently-and looking me in the eye.

"Oh, god, Yume, finally! I was so freaked out, un! Masaru called, said you got in a crash, and I thought…I thought…"

His beautiful blue eyes betrayed every emotion running through his head, and the guilt stabbing through me hurt worse than my broken ribs.

"Deidara, if I'd known it would happen, I'd have let you come with me," I said, almost crying. Kagami and Haruka had taken the hint and snuck off.

Deidara's gaze softened and he sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, careful not to jostle my ribs. I was eternally grateful for that.

Ha! I made a funny! See, Deidara prefers fleeting, but I said I'm eternally-oh, forget it.

"Deidara? You're…you're not mad at me, are you?"

He blinked, surprised. "Mad, hm? Why would I be mad?"

"I mean, I wouldn't let you come with us, and I ended up in the hospital and made you worried-"

He cut me off with a kiss, pressing his lips against mine and holding me like that for a few moments before finally pulling back.

"No, Yume, I'm not mad. At Wyatt? Yeah. At you? It's not your fault." He smiled at me with that warmth that always made me feel giddy inside.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"Well, aside from the broken ribs and some broken pride, yeah, I'm fine."

Deidara nodded. "Well, you're alive, which means you're okay as far as I'm concerned." He kissed the side of my face again and I sighed happily, putting my head on his chest…

And feeling incredibly guilty. He still didn't know that whenever they went back to their world, he would die.

"Deidara? There's something I need to tell you…"

"Is it bad? Or important?"

"Yes, very-"

"Then don't."

"Wha…? Why not?"

"Because neither one of us needs the added stress." He smiled softly. "You can tell me when we get back home, alright?"

"Home…?"

"Well yeah. Your house." He blinked. "That's home, isn't it?"

"…yeah. It is." I couldn't help but smile back at him before closing my eyes and relaxing.

"I love you, Deidara."

"I love you too, Yume-chan."

Shizuka's POV

For what felt like hours after Kagami and Haruka ran off to go check on Yume, I'd just been sitting there in silenced with him.

It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It didn't even feel like the kind you get when you're being given the silent treatment. It was just a peaceful sort of quiet, with him holding my hand in his and stroking the back of it despite that he couldn't feel it at all.

Sorta makes me think of a song I currently have stuck in my head on endless loop…what was it...oh, right, "Nothing at All" by Allison Krauss.

'_The smile on your face lets me know that you need me. There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all.' _That's what it was.

Only problem is that Sasori wasn't exactly "smiling" at me. He just looked at me with that blank expression he was so famous for, his eyes sad and concerned and upset all at once.

"Sasori, if you're mad at me, just say it!" I finally blurted out. I didn't mind the quiet, but that look he was giving me just tore at my already aching chest with guilt.

He blinked, and sighed softly. Come to think of it…Sasori doesn't have to breathe, does he? So how does he sigh? I always wondered that.

"Shizuka, I'm not mad…at you. I wish I could just walk over to the room Wyatt's in and tear out his throat with my bare hands. Just for the satisfaction of seeing his blood, even if he wouldn't feel any pain because he's brain-dead."

Okay, a little scary. Normally my necrophobia would be making my freak out a little by now, but it didn't.

"I'd have to say, as much as I fear death, I agree. On the bright side, if he ever wakes up, he'll probably go to an insane asylum. Or prison. Jail. Something."

He thought a moment, then sighed. "I guess so. No point in tearing him up. I'd get caught if he was suddenly missing his neck."

"Uh-huh. There's no security cameras, but someone would still see you all covered in blood."

I didn't know Sasori was a sadist.

He blinked. "No security cameras? Isn't that a bit risky?"

"Well there's doctors and nurses most of the time, and not many people would murder a half-dead patient. Well, maybe on Gray's Anatomy." (J/N Shut up, I love that show. I watch it with my mom every Thursday.)

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. I won't question his interest in hospital security.

"…Shizuka?" It was his turn to ask a question now.

"What is it?"

"I…don't ever do something like this to me again. I thought you were going to die or something. I wouldn't be able to stand that."

His eyes softened. God, I could get lost in those eyes. Those…those gorgeous, perfect, chocolate-covered eyes…

"Shizuka, you're different from me in so many ways. You feel, both emotionally and physically. You're a teenager, not a thirty-five year old with the face and heart of a fifteen year old boy. And you have more than one weak point."

I blinked. "Your point?"

"What do you mean 'my point?' I don't feel pain or emotion-"

"Liar." I couldn't help but smile slightly.

He frowned at me. "What?"

"You're lying. You do too have emotion, baka. Otherwise you wouldn't act like this, and you wouldn't care about me. You wouldn't hold my hand, or kiss me, or comfort me. You wouldn't even get mad at Deidara, or anyone for that matter. You do too have emotions, you're just so good at hiding them that you forgot."

He opened and closed his mouth several times before sighing and shaking his head, smirking faintly.

"I guess I really am an idiot, huh?"

"When it comes to emotions? Yeah, I can vouch, you're kind of an idiot then."

"If anyone else agreed to that, they wouldn't live to do so again. However, considering the circumstances, I'll let it slide this time."

"I'm so overjoyed." I said back, teasingly, before I let him lean in and kiss me.

My puppet. Mine.

Sasori's POV

About fifteen minutes later I let Shizuka go back to sleep, although this one wasn't induced my painkillers and sedatives. She was simply tired and I didn't want to keep her awake.

There really is something peaceful about watching her sleep. Her entire body just relaxes and goes limp, and the only sign she's still alive is the soft rise and fall of her chest, which must have hurt at this time with her bruised ribs, and how her eyelashes flutter when she dreams.

As long as she was breathing, I didn't care if she was asleep or awake. I didn't care about anything but that, not myself, not my art, nothing.

I don't know what love feels like. I've never experienced more than a longing for the parental love I was deprived of as a child. And that was nothing like the strange feeling of relaxed warmth that stirred in my cold, sealed, contained heart whenever I looked at her.

Or the ache that I feel when I think of how I could have lost her to that fucking kid, Wyatt.

Or the cold rage I felt when I pictured that kid's maniacal eyes when he pinned her to a bed and tried.

That's it. I know what happens next.

Without a word I stood up and slipped out of the room. Hopefully she was right about the lack of security cameras in the hospital bedrooms. Otherwise, I'm screwed.

Of course I had to get stopped in the hall by one of the paramedics. Actually, it was a strawberry-blonde guy in his early twenties who I recognized.

"Masaru-san."

"You don't have to be so formal. Just Masaru is fine," he said, giving a quirky smile. He really did look a bit like Shizuka, I guess, if he died his hair green and his eyes were amber rather than hazel…

"What do you want?" This was important to me. I had to make sure that Shizuka could never get hurt again.

"I just wanna ask you something." He looked me right in the eye, something very few people ever did, and then he asked: "Do you really love my sister?"

That caught me off-guard.

"What?"

"Do you really love my sister? C'mon, I wanna know, and it had better be a good answer, dammit!"

I blinked. "Well…yes, I suppose I do."

"Suppose?"

"I've never felt the feeling before, so I wouldn't know."

He blinked, thought a moment, and sighed. "Well, I guess I can't find that too weird, considering that you're a puppet. I've seen it all since I walked in on my sister and her friends with nine half-naked man in the living room."

I blinked. "…thanks?"

"Well, I'll get to the point." He looked me in the eye and smiled.

"You love my sister? Great. Make sure she knows it. I approve since our parents don't know and might not care. But you break her heart, I break your…arm, leg, neck…whatever."

I raised an eyebrow, but decided to go along with it.

"Alright then."

"Good. See you around, then!" And he walked off.

I didn't mention that he wouldn't be able to break any BONES, but okay.

It didn't take me too long to find my "destination." It wasn't obvious, but it wasn't difficult.

Wyatt was lying unconscious on the bed. In fact, I'd heard the doctors say his coma was severe enough that the life support was the only thing keeping him alive. He very well may never wake up.

No. He wouldn't. I would make sure of that.

"Hello, Wyatt," I said in a low voice, walking over to his bed where I stood, looking at him skeptically.

He was covered in stitches and bandages, and wasn't moving at all. Barely breathing. Again, life support.

His skin was incredibly pale, making his freckles stand up, and his head had been all but shaved so they could fix the damage done to it. His eyelids didn't move, so I assume he wasn't dreaming

"Not such a tough guy now, are you? You kidnap your ex-girlfriend, shoot your cousin, and end up with brain damage in a coma."

Sometimes comatose people can hear you. I don't know if brain-dead people could, but it's worth a try. I just wanted to say it.

"Well, guess what, Wyatt? I don't want you to hurt her again. And I'm going to make sure that you don't. It's a shame you won't suffer when I do."

I glanced around warily. I had to make sure that nobody was in the room or in the hall. Nobody would see what I was about to do next.

Nobody.

Good. Then, carefully, carefully, I walked over and pulled the plug on life support.

In all honesty, he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve such a peaceful, relaxed death. He didn't deserve to die in his sleep.

He deserved to suffer. To scream in agony as every bone in his body was broken, every inch of his flesh and blood burned away until there was no trace left of him. He needed to be tortured.

And even then I wouldn't be satisfied.

I turned back to look at him, leaning close and glaring into his blank, dead looking face and carefully enunciating each word I said.

"Say hi to the devil for me, you son of a bitch."

Then, carefully, carefully, I walked over and pulled the plug on life support.

I made a hand-sign and teleported out of that room so I was back at Shizuka's side. I would be holding her hand when she woke up.

And nobody would ever find out the truth about why Wyatt would be found dead not quite an hour later, with the machinery keeping him alive unplugged and unresponsive.

**Well, Wyatt's dead. And a moment of silence for how much we will miss him…**

…**DING DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD! :D Bwahahaha. I'm glad he died. I never liked his design much from the start. xP I actually thinking dying in your sleep is a bad way to go, just because you never get to say "goodbye", and you're not even aware of it.**

**Question of the week: Naruto Shippuden sub or dub? Personally, I like the dub better. Not the Disney version, not since I found a place for uncut episodes. Plus I love the voices for the Akatsuki. They're all PERFECT. And I also like how Tobi sounds like the Annoying Orange. XD They did DANG good with the voice actors, especially Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu…screw it, they're all good.**

**Well, goodbye for now, my darlings. I'm gonna go ruin my mind by watching more Smosh videos. :P Till next chapter~**

**_~And remember kids, I'm not sure what slightly obscure reference I should make to Persona 2: Innocent Sin so instead have a flower~_  
**


	28. Truth

**For those of you reading my fic Ever Hateful Love, updates are gonna be slow on it for a while, just because I'm focusing all my energy on this fic as of now. And I procrastinated on this chapter because I couldn't think of how to word it all. It's very emotional, just a warning.**

**SakuraDreamerz-Sure, I'd love that. Hmmm…no one in specific, pick one. And here's an interesting random fact: Sasori's Japanese voice actor was Edward Cullen in the Japanese dub of Twilight. Just a random detail I found hilarious. xD**

**Leslolo-Sure thing! It's a website called "Narutoget . com" without the spaces. It's got all the subbed episodes, both from series one AND Shippuden, and all the dubbed episodes up to the end of the Three-tails arc, so far.**

**Decently important author's note at the bottom. :)**

Yume's POV

The hospital was reluctant to let us leave, even if the injuries weren't as severe as they could've been. I guess it was because they were completely freaked out about what happened two days ago before we were finally deemed fit enough to go.

What happened? Well, I'll explain.

Apparently there was an accident involving Wyatt's life support system. Without all the wires and machinery connected to him, his dead-brain body and barely beating heart just couldn't keep him going.

It was surprising, but then again, I can't say it made me really sad. Shizuka was a bit timid from her phobia, but she didn't get _too_ upset.

Before going, however, we decided to stop by and see how Courtney was doing.

And in all honesty she looked…not that bad.

She was wearing a hospital gown and I was guessing that beneath it were a bunch of stitches from her bullet wound, more than on Shizuka's forehead scar that she was going to end up with.

She was a bit pale, her eyes were shadowed with lack of sleep, and she grimaced in pain a lot, but her hair was still shiny and dark with ruler-straight bangs, and she still looked like a mean girl from a movie.

Without as much mean, which was what surprised me the most.

"Hey, Courtney. Um…how you holding up?" Shizuka asked awkwardly when we walked in.

She shrugged her shoulders in response, then winced at the motion. "Ow...fine, I guess, or as fine as one can be when having a bullet only recently lodged in her ribcage."

I raised an eyebrow. "Translation, you feel like you're dying, but you're gonna live according to the doctors?"

"Yep."

"Well that's good…ish," Shizuka said, smiling slightly.

She frowned, glaring at her.

"Good…ish?"

"Good you're gonna live, but not good that you're in pain," she explained.

Courtney laughed, then cursed.

"Fuck! Ow! I can't even laugh without feeling like I'm gonna start dying any second? Are you kidding me?"

I would've laughed if it hadn't been so pitiful. I then remembered the main reason for why we'd come by to talk to her.

"So, um…sorry about what happened to Wyatt, I guess."

She snorted. "Girl, don't even try to lie. You know full well that you and your friends probably couldn't care less."

So she still has enough energy to be a bitch? Alright then.

Shizuka didn't even hesitate before nodding. "Yeah, I can't say I'm too upset over what happened. What about you?"

She paused for a moment. "Well…I guess I'm sad, I mean, we were always really close as cousins even if he went completely insane towards the end."

She really did look kind of sad, then, and I felt a little bad for her.

"Do you, um, wanna be alone for a while?"

"…yeah."

"Alright. See ya, Courtney."

As we turned to walk off though, Shizuka-who had always hated Courtney more than any of us-paused and turned around, to look at her.

"Courtney?...thanks."

"For what?"

"For trying to stop Wyatt from taking us to Arizona. And for taking a bullet from him to do that."

Courtney looked startled, but never got a chance to respond as we turned and walked off.

Rachel and Masaru met us outside, and Rachel came over and hugged us both, then apologized when we yelped because of our bruised ribs, Deidara and Sasori frowning at her protectively.

Shizuka laughed at that.

"Down, boys, she's my brother's girlfriend," she said, laughing. They both nodded, because due to the beach incident, they knew.

But when he said that, Rachel just smiled. "Actually, I'm not his girlfriend anymore."

My jaw dropped to the floor.

"Y-you broke up?" I was completely in shock.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "No, silly. It was about two months ago, but you guys were all over at Yume's house, so I never got to tell you."

"The beach trip?"

"It slipped my mind." She smiled and held out her hand, showing off a gold ring.

"I'm his fiancée!"

"Rachel, that's awesome!" Shizuka said, breaking into a grin and hugging her tightly. "I'm gonna have a sister-in-law!"

Did her voice crack slightly when she said that? Sasori seemed to notice, and turned to Masaru quickly.

"Congratulations. Ah…do you think you could drive us back to Yume's house?"

"Of course."

Two Weeks Later

Konan had healed both of us fully within the first three days of us being home. And two weeks later, it was just another average day in our house...

Our house?

Yeah, I guess it is "our" house. The Akatsuki have been here for very close to four months now, and it won't be long before my parents get home, picking up my not-quite-fourteen year old sister from her friend's house on the way.

How am I gonna explain THIS to them?

Pfft. Who knows. I'll figure something out…

Currently, Kagami had discovered a photo album and was showing off the pictures to some of us-mainly her, me, Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, and Hidan-while the other watched the Black Butler dub I had on DVD on the TV screen.

"So that's how Yume looked with brown hair, un." He remarked, looking at a picture of me at eleven, roughly two weeks before the hair dye incident.

"Yep…oh, look, here's Yume after her sister was born!"

I was only about three and a half in the picture, my hair in little pigtails, trying to look into the crib my baby sister was in.

Shizuka smirked. "Aw, Yume, you were so cute, then. What the heck happened to you?"

"Hey!"

Deidara chuckled. "Aww, don't worry, Yume-chan. You're still cute when you blush, but in my eyes, you're more beautiful."

I blushed, only proving his point and making him laugh more.

As usual, I couldn't help but glance around, noticing where everyone was sitting. Itachi was on the lap beside Kagami, his arms wrapped around her protectively as he looked over her shoulder at the album, occasionally pausing to murmur something-sweet nothings in her ear to make her blush and giggle.

Haruka and Tobi were both in the armchair that was to the left of the couch, with Haruka in Tobi's lap and her head on his chest as he cuddled her close cheerfully.

Shizuka and Sasori were just sprawled out on the floor in front of the couch, Shizuka's head resting in his lap as he stroked her hair gently, seeming to frown slightly at the fact he couldn't feel it, but would then smile softly down at her. I almost feel bad for him.

Kakuzu was in the other armchair that was on the right of the couch, watching the anime curiously, probably because the main character Ceil was freaking rich. I heard him say something like "wonder how much HE has in that bank account of his" while watching.

Hidan and Kisame would both snicker at pictures, although Kisame had referred to my mother, a honey blonde woman with hazel eyes, as "one smokin' hot babe." He'd soon learned not to. (Z/N: Kisame, you and your MILFs.)

Kagami isn't the only one who knows how to wield a weapon. But mine's a dictionary, not a frying pan…it works just as well. (J/N MAKA CHOP)

Zetsu, Konan, and Pain weren't in here. They'd been going off on their own a lot this past week, leaving us on our own most of the time. Shizuka said they were probably having a threesome…but if Zetsu is like two people in one, wouldn't it be like a foursome?

Me and Deidara were standing behind the couch by Hidan and Kisame, Deidara occasionally pausing to kiss me on the cheek or hug me even closer to him. I swear, anymore and we'd be joined at the hip.

DIRTY THOUGHTS.

After about ten more minutes of showing awkward, funny, and some (I will admit) adorable pictures of me as a kid, Kagami got bored and decided to say a new idea, one that I was all too thrilled with to go along with:

"Let's have a make-out party! Haruka and Tobi, Sasori and Shizuka, me and Itachi-sama, and Yume and Deidara! And Hidan and Kakuzu!"

Unfortunately, her KakuHida fantasies wouldn't happen as the two most violent members began cursing her out. But the rest of it happened.

Sasori smiled and pulled Shizuka up into a sitting position so she was facing him before leaning in and kissing her deeply.

Tobi cheerfully agreed to the idea, adjusting his mask so that only his mouth showed, and even that was soon covered as he pressed his lip to an all-too-eager Haruka's lips.

Itachi wrapped his arms even tighter around Kagami and kissed her passionately, almost smiling.

Deidara turned to look at me, smiling, and the next thing I know his lips crashed against mine and his tongue was sliding between my teeth, making me moan happily as it happened.

GOD is he a good kisser…makes me think of that one 3OH!3 song, "My First Kiss."

Lips like licorice, tongue like candy…

Although in this case, there was (thankfully) nothing about taking off my panties.

But of course, someone just HAD to spoil the moment. This "someone" just happened to be Pain walking out into the room with Konan and Zetsu and loudly announcing that he would like us all to stop and listen.

Tobi whined as he pulled back from Haruka, adjusting his mask back over his face fully. Sasori frowned, till holding Shizuka close. Kagami shot him a death glare, and I groaned as Deidara pulled his tongue from my mouth, trying to keep respectful to Pain.

"What is it, Leader-sama, yeah?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. I rested my head on his chest in an attempt to calm him as the Akatsuki leader began to speak.

Whatever he said, nothing could ruin my good mood.

"The jutsu to bring us back to our world it completed. We'll be leaving tomorrow."

Screw that. Something just did.

Everyone stared at him in shock, and Kagami sputtered out first.

"B-but you can't leave! None of you can leave!" Her blue eyes were on the verge of tears, it seemed.

Pain frowned over at her, Rinnegan eyes narrowing.

"And why is that?"

I finished her sentence for her. I had to.

"Because if you guys…if you guys go back…then there's a strong chance that each and every one of you is going to die!"

Silence.

Third Person POV

After Yume and Kagami's outbursts, the room became so quiet you could've heard a pin drop. Hidan spoke up first.

"What... what the fuck? We're all gonna DIE if we go back home? But I'm immortal-"

"Tell that to Shikamaru when he blows your sorry ass to pieces and buries you in a pit!" Kagami snapped angrily. The immortal opened his mouth, then closed it. Too stunned to speak.

Even Pain looked shocked before he finally explained.

"If you tell us how, then we can avoid it."

"And if we don't, you can't leave!"

"On the contrary, Kagami. We can still leave, but we now will know how to avoid our ends, right?" Pain said, almost looking smug.

Before she could say anything, Yume spoke up, obviously no happier than anyone else.

"Sasori would be the first."

The puppet looked at her in shock, feeling Shizuka flinch in his arms at the dull words her friend spoke.

"I don't know if it'll happen since you guys pretty much finished sealing Gaara before you ended up here, as you said, but what was supposed to happen is that he would fight Chiyo and Sakura. The fight would go badly. His heart container would be destroyed."

Sasori's shoulders slumped, his eyes shocked and empty at the thought. Shizuka was trembling now, and he pulled her close, trying to calm the fear that the idea of her lover dying had forced upon her.

"Hidan and Kakuzu are next. Hidan kills Asuma Sarutobi, and Shikamaru blows him to pieces and buries him in revenge. Kakuzu gets all five hearts taken out by Kakashi Hatake and Naruto Uzumaki."

Hidan and Kakuzu exchanged stunned looks, then looked back at her. She opened her mouth to talk, but shook her head, her voice breaking. She couldn't say what was next.

Kagami, seeing as she had no choice, had to say it.

"Deidara dies next. He fights Itachi's little brother, and ends up using his C0 and committing suicide…in vain. Sasuke gets away."

Deidara's eyes widened in horror. True, it was going out with a bang like he'd always dreamed of…but without purpose. And Yume was crying now. He held her close to comfort her.

Kagami's voice was thick and tears started running down her face as she kept talking.

"I-Itachi-sama fights his little brother, too, and he…he doesn't make it…he dies, and he smiles and apologizes before he does, but he dies and…and…"

Then she was hysterical and Itachi was comforting her.

It was almost five minutes before any of them could speak. Haruka, her voice shaky, took her turn.

"Then Pain…the remaining Akatsuki members attack Konoha, but it goes wrong, and he ends up getting killed by the village's Shinobi. All six of his bodies taken out."

No need to tell about Nagato, because if no one died, then they wouldn't have to worry. And by this point, she couldn't care less about Pain.

"And then Konan leaves because Pain's gone, and after that, Kisame…h-he commits suicide on a mission so that they won't get any information from him when he's captured. He bites off his tongue, and summons sharks…"

Kisame gaped in stunned silence at the thought.

Yume, finally recovered enough to talk, managed to say the last part in barely a whisper.

"Konan comes back later, and ends up getting killed in a fight with…a powerful shinobi…who wants to know where Pain's grave is."

No need to say that the shinobi who killed Konan was the man holding Haruka in his lap, trying to comfort her as she cried. Konan's eyes saddened and she turned away, obviously as upset as the rest about leaving.

"…is that all?" Pain asked finally. Yume nodded.

"Yeah…Tobi and Zetsu are the only ones alive so far, and even so, they might…"

She started crying again.

It was like that for a while, someone would cry and someone else would try to comfort them. Or at least, the girls cried and the members calmed them down.

Finally, Tobi spoke up.

"Leader-sama, why do we have to go back?" He asked nervously. "Tobi doesn't want to leave…he wants to stay here, with Haruka-chan!"

"Tobi, we have our goals back in our world. We have to go back. We don't belong here, and someone would recognize us. Besides, we can't stay at Yume's house forever. Your parents return in less than a week, right, Yume?"

She nodded, to numb to even respond.

Tobi refused to give in. As Madara, he wanted his goals to be achieved. But he also wanted Haruka. And Pain still didn't know his secret yet. (J/N As to whether Pain knows or doesn't know about Madara from the beginning or not, I change that for many of my fics)

"But…but we could try! We could find our own house, and use transformation jutsus in public-"

"Tobi, it won't WORK." Pain snapped. "Somebody would give us away eventually."

"Then…then why can't we just take them with us?" Tobi pleaded. "Tobi wants to take Haruka-chan with him! Tobi doesn't want to leave her!"

"The girls have families her too, Tobi. People would notice if they went missing. And there's no telling as to how the jutsu would affect them. They could die."

"But what if we-"

Deidara cut him off.

"It's no good, Tobi, yeah. Leader isn't gonna listen," he said bitterly, still holding Yume close to him. "As much as I hate it, we're gonna have to leave either way, hm."

Sasori suddenly stood up and walked out of the room, outside into the backyard. After a pause, Shizuka stood up and followed.

Sasori's POV

Leaving. We were leaving. And there was no way out of it.

For the first time in twenty years, I had emotion. And for the first time in thirty years, I had someone to love…

Going back to our world, facing fights that could kill us if we didn't avoid them?

We were leaving the girls behind for that?

I sat down against the wall of Yume's house, closing my eyes and putting my head in my hands. After a few moments, I felt Shizuka sit down beside me.

"Sasori-san?"

I'd miss the way she always says my name. In that quiet, hesitant way of speaking that she always has. It made her seem so much more fragile than she was.

I looked at her, saw the sadness in her amber eyes behind those long dark eyelashes of hers, and I wrapped my arms around her. I didn't want to let her go.

"Shizuka…maybe it's…better like this."

Even with being unable to feel her physically, I could tell she stiffened.

"What do you mean?"

"Better for you, Shizuka. I'm a puppet. I can't give you all the affection and love you need-"

"Baka!"

I blinked when she snapped.

"You give me everything I want! I don't care if you think I need MORE…all I need is YOU!"

"…it can't be much fun, kissing a man made of wood…"

"Baka, baka, BAKA!" She would've hit me if it wouldn't have broken her hand.

"Sasori…I'll put it this way for you. Look at me. Right in the eyes."

I looked at her.

"I love when you smile, laugh, and say my name because I just plain love the sound of your voice. I love how you always act, so emotionless and distant, but then when you're with me you hold me close and kiss me like no one else could. I love the color of your eyes, and how long your eyelashes are. But Sasori…more than anything, I love YOU."

I stared at her, frozen. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before.

Nobody…

I acted on instinct, grabbing her even closer and kissing her deeply, wishing that just once, I could feel it.

"I love you too, Shizuka." I whispered, not wanting to let her go.

Why did it have to be too late that I thought to finally say that?

**Awww…Sasori and Shizuka finally confessed that they love each other. How sweet…sweet but sad because of this chapter.**

**Yes. As sad as it is, next chapter will be the last chapter of Akatsukitties. I'll also thrown in an epilogue just to round things off, though. Thirty chapters is a good number.**

**In all honesty, I'm kind of sad the story's almost over. Despite my many procrastinations and fails, I loved writing it. A LOT. And not just to get reviews, although reading you guys' reviews makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.**

**Question of the Update: If you were in the girls' situation in this chapter, what would you do? No, this isn't a plea for ideas. I'm just curious.**

**Do I even need to say 'review' by now? Haha, I think we get it. But please, do review~**

**_~And remember kids, it's almost time for so long, but we'll sing one more song~_  
**


	29. End

**First off: I wish you all happy holidays because I am not sure when this chapter will be posted compared to Christmas and other such days. Second off: Last chapter, guys. :/ I'm kinda sad, to tell the truth. I don't want this fanfic to end any more than you guys do…I like writing it. A lot. And third, I'd like to apologize for the lack of updates on my other fanfic. I'm just suffering a bit of a block right now.**

**Teiramogami: IKR? D: I love that fanfiction so much, even more than Kitty Kurse, come to think of it. And I honestly didn't expect for this fiction to end within the same month…I swear.**

**xxTheDemonInsideYouxx: *tackles* DON'T KILL YOURSELF, WOMAN! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIIIVVVEEE FOOOOORRRRR! *shot for attacking an innocent reader***

**WARNING: THOSE OF YOU WHO DISLIKE SAD FLUFF AND ENDINGS…VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. SERIOUSLY. I CHOKED UP A LITTLE BIT WHILE WRITING THIS. I, THE AUTHOR, WHO NEVER CRIES. GOD I HATE BEING SO SAD LIKE THIS.**

Third Person POV (THIS CHAPTER WILL BE EXCLUSIVELY IN THIS POV)

Yume didn't want to wake up.

It was because she knew that when she did, it would mean it was tomorrow, and Deidara would have to leave. The entire Akatsuki would be gone by this evening.

Life sucks.

Deidara was already awake when she opened her eyes, and he smiled gently before kissing her. It wasn't like their usual hot make-out session, but it was softer, sweeter, and just seemed to fit the mood.

"Morning, Yume-chan. You sleep good?"

"Somehow…yeah."

The silence that followed was just a simple sort of quiet that she didn't mind. It was one of those where you know what the other is thinking so well you don't even have to say anything.

"…I don't want you to go." She said quietly, feeling her eyes burn. "I don't ever want you to leave…I just want you to stay with me forever…"

A tear traced down the side of her cheek. The small water droplet never got a chance to fall onto the pillow because Deidara had reached out and brushed it away gently.

"Hey…don't cry, Yume, hm. You'll make me cry, and I have a reputation to keep up, you know?" His voice cracked slightly, and he smiled weakly.

Yume smiled back. "Yeah…" Then she noticed something.

"Hey…Sasori and Shizuka aren't in here, are they?"

"No. I guess they left the room sometime last night."

"Yeah…well, at least that means…we can be alone for a while."

Deidara nodded, and kissed her again.

"For once, I guess that I agree with Danna. Not about art, no way, un! But…something else."

Yume blinked up at him, kind of surprised.

"You agree with Sasori? About what?"

"There are some things…" It was obvious he hated trying to say this, admitting Sasori was correct about anything at all. But he finally blurted it out.

"The one thing he's right about is that…yeah, some things really should last for a long time. Like…like this." He looked right at her.

"I always say that art is only beautiful because of how fleeting it is…and yes, that's art. But I wish moments like these could last forever…because they are a hundred times more beautiful!"

Yume stared at him quietly for a moment, then smiled softly and rested her head on his chest.

"But if they did last forever…would there be any point? Would they really be beautiful at all, anymore?"

Deidara opened and closed his mouth twice, then smiled, but it was only halfhearted.

"Way to use my own opinion against me, un," he muttered, and held her close.

Kagami woke up with a jolt of terror, clutching at Itachi desperately, her face white and her eyes burning. "Itachi-sama!"

He was awake, looking at her with concern as he sat up, tilting her chin so she was facing into his dark eyes.

"Kagami, what's wrong?"

"I…I had a nightmare…" She whimpered, and softly spoke what it was.

She had been watching Itachi fight with Sasuke from a distance, and no matter how desperately she called to him, there was no use. He died as he was meant to, and then the entire world had fallen away.

Itachi's gazed softened, and he kissed her gently, trailing his fingers through her long blonde hair.

"It's alright, Kagami. It was just a dream. It isn't going to happen, because I know how to avoid it."

"B-but Itachi-sama…it still could," she whispered, crying now.

"You're going home today, and then…y-you'll end up fighting Sasuke…and you might die…and I don't want that to happen!"

"As I said, I can avoid it. I know how to, now."

She looked up at him, still trembling.

"But in the anime, in the manga…you said that you let it happen. You wanted him to kill you, to bring honor back to your Clan's name…"

"And now I don't want that. Do you know why, Kagami?"

"…why?"

He looked so sad, then, so empty that she almost regretted it, until he smiled softly and kissed her again.

"It's because now…I have something to live for besides that goal. Someone worth destroying everything I've worked for, just to protect her. I said it before, and I'll say it again: I love you, Kagami."

"…I love you too, Itachi-sama."

She buried her face in his chest.

"And I always will."

Shizuka hadn't been able to sleep very well at all. About halfway through the night, she'd gotten up and gone outside. Sasori had joined her later, and they were currently on the roof, listening to her iPod.

"_This time, this place, misused, mistakes. Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left. Cause you know, you know, you knoooowwwww…"_

"This is a sad song." Sasori commented, his arms around her, holding her nearly in his lap. One earphone in his ear, the other in hers.

"Yeah…but I still like it."

"You always seem to like sad things." He said softly, his arm around her waist, holding her close.

Moments like this, he forgot that he couldn't really feel.

"Yeah…I've never been huge on daydreaming, or happy endings. They're cute, but it's not really realistic."

Sasori chuckled. "Normally I'd expect to hear you say the opposite. From what I understand, most people whose art style depends on drawing and painting tend to be a bit fantasy-focused."

Shizuka blushed.

"I'm not THAT much of an artist…"

"You're way too modest for your own good," he said, smiling at her. "Your drawings are amazing. Why don't you ever want to admit it?"

"…I guess I just feel like I'm bragging about something I never made…I mean, my sister's the one who taught me how to draw, so it's more of her style than mine."

He blinked. "That explains it, I guess. But if she taught you, then she gave you the gift to draw like that. And if she gave it to you, then it's your's."

"I guess you're right…I'll try to work on my bragging skills, alright?"

He nodded, trying to keep a straight face, but failing.

"You do that."

They sat quietly for a few moments, still listening to the sound of Nickelback playing through the headphones.

"_I love you, I loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you'll be with me, and you'll never go…"_

In unison, completely by accident, both of them said "I love you," only for Shizuka to blush awkwardly and Sasori to smile in amusement when they realized how they'd just said it.

"_Stop breathing, if I don't see you anymore…"_

Haruka was curled up close to Madara, her arms around him tightly, and her face buried in his chest. She was trying her best not to cry, but didn't know how much longer she could last.

"It's alright, Haruka-chan. You don't have to hold yourself back," Madara said quietly, running his hand up and down her back in a comforting gesture.

She just whimpered in response.

"I'm not gonna cry…I don't wanna cry…"

"Liar. It can't be healthy for you to hold all of that back. It's perfectly fine for you to shed some tears. I'll be right here to comfort you."

"I'm not gonna cry!" She repeated stubbornly.

Madara sighed softly, tilting her head back so she was looking at him.

"Haruka, I don't want to leave either-"

"You're the real leader of the Akatsuki! Can't you just DO something?"

"-but I have no choice. If I were to reveal myself now, things could become very problematic. And since Pain has, in fact, completed the jutsu, chances of me being able to counter it are slim. The Rinnegan's power is equal to that of my Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. Perhaps stronger." (J/N Not sure if that's exact, but it seems like it'd work that way)

"Liar," she said miserably. "You just care about your Moon's Eye Plan more than you care about me! You're so selfish!"

"That's not it," he stated firmly. "Haruka, I care about NOTHING more than you. Yes, I want to go through with my plan. Yes, I don't intend to give up on it. But I can promise you that I would much rather stay here with you than leave and complete it."

"So why don't you try and stop everyone from leaving?"

"It won't work. I had Zetsu spy on Pain last night when he was describing it to Konan. The jutsu was set yesterday, and Pain can activate it any time he wishes. At this time, there is nothing I can do. Though I'd give anything for there to be a way."

"…oh…" She was quiet now, feeling guilty for having snapped at him like that. Madara noticed, and smirked.

"You are right, though, Haruka…I AM selfish. I don't intend to share you with anyone. Ever." She was looking at him strangely now, and blushed at his last part.

"Which means that I also intend to be your first time, and since we're leaving later, this could be your last chance to-"

Haruka giggled, finding it hilarious that he was able to lighten up the situation in his own twisted sense of humor. "Oh, just shut up and kiss me."

And he did.

This was it. It was time.

Ten o'clock in the morning, and everyone was outside, ready to leave. Pain had told them it would take another five or ten minutes for the jutsu to activate, so they only had a little bit of time left.

The girls were hugging and kissing their boyfriends like crazy, not wanting to let them go. Refusing to let them go. It was adorable, really.

But, like always, Hidan had to ruin the moment.

"Aw, c'mon, you're making me feel left out! Don't I get a hug and kiss?" He teased, grinning.

Kagami rolled her eyes at him, laughing now, but it was kind of half-hearted. "I'll give you a hug, Hidan, but no kiss. And keep your hands above my waist or I will hit you with my skillet."

"Relax, I got limitations. I'm not gonna touch you, bitch." He said as she walked over and hugged him. He hugged her back. "Tempting though it may be…"

"Hidan, I will kick you. Where it hurts."

"Shutting up, now," he said, paling and letting go of her.

And that was how goodbyes went. The girls went around, hugging the members, even Zetsu and Kakuzu, who they had never been incredibly close to. (J/N Probably because I keep forgetting those two…*sweatdrops* I was never good at writing them)

Konan was getting special treatment. Lots of hugs and goodbyes. She also hated having to leave, but being Pain's partner, had no choice but to go along.

Of course, the blue haired woman had a few thoughts of her own…but until she could be sure of them, they would remain a secret. Nothing more than wishes that only she could no.

It would be time to go. Very soon.

Deidara had pulled Yume aside, holding onto her hand gently. As they stood, waiting for Pain to give the word, he looked at her, with such a mournful look in his pale blue eyes that she felt her throat choke up just looking at him.

"Deidara, what did you want to tell me?"

His words nearly tore her apart.

"Yume…I want you to forget me. All about me, yeah." He was speaking quietly. "I never existed. I was never supposed to exist. And you can't spend your entire life waiting for someone who may never come back, un."

She stared at him with a look of despair on her face. Then she buried herself against him, trembling. "No…I won't."

"It'll only hurt you-"

"I don't care! I'm never going to forget you, Deidara, whether you want me to or not! And I know you won't forget about me, so why should I-"

He cut her off with a kiss.

"I won't forget, Yume, that's true…but I don't want you be in pain forever from a memory of a person never meant to be here, hm. And yeah…kinda stupid of me to ask, isn't it, yeah?"

"Yeah. It is."

"Then I won't ask. But I would still rather you did…just so you wouldn't be in pain."

Sasori and Shizuka were holding each other close. Shizuka had her head resting on her shoulder, and both of them were silent. They're just weren't enough words to describe how they were feeling.

Kagami was crying now, not even caring, and was clinging to Itachi as if he were a lifeline. He was trying to comfort her, and softly warning her not to hurt herself while he was gone.

Haruka was officially hysterical, Tobi hugging her tightly to him in an attempt to keep her sane, softly whispering "I love you" again and again as he did so.

And Pain just watched it all with a bored look on his face. (J/N sorry to his fangirls, but Pain's always just seemed like a jerk to me.)

"It's time now," he said coolly. He was fully aware of the glares he received from his members. Four, in particular. But he didn't really care.

He began making hand-signs, quickly and rapidly, and the Akatsuki members were able to nearly feel the chakra thrumming in the air, filled with the power that would tear them away from here.

"Two-World Transport Jutsu!" (J/N I know, it's a lame jutsu name. But I couldn't think of anything.)

It didn't seem to do anything at first…but then Yume realized she could no longer feel Deidara's hand.

In fact, all of the Akatsuki had a dim red glow around them, and almost looked transparent. Like blood-red ghosts who were just as upset about this as the teenage girls watching it.

Then the girls started to react.

"N-no…you guys can't leave…no…DEIDARA!" Yume, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she reached out for the fading blonde.

"PAIN! STOP THIS! DON'T MAKE THEM LEAVE! YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Kagami, screaming and cursing in anger and fear.

"Sasori-san…" Shizuka, too shocked to start shouting.

"Tobi-kun, no…please…d-don't go!" Haruka, her voice and heart both breaking.

But it was no use. In less than a minute, the Akatsuki, the S-ranked shinobi they had loved, and even the kittens they had looked after for a while…they were all gone.

Shizuka just seemed to…break. She fell to her knees, tears beginning to drip from her eyes even though she didn't notice them. She kept whispering Sasori's name, like a mantra.

Haruka gave a sort of wail, like a dying animal, and ran inside, sobbing. She couldn't even stand to be outside anymore, not after what had just happened.

Kagami was shaking, crying, and screaming. Cursing at Pain with everything you had. "NAGATO! YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! FUCK YOU! GO DIE IN A FUCKING HOLE!"

Yume just stood, silently, salty tears streaming down her face in thin, clear lines, and dropping onto the ground below her.

The Akatsuki were gone.

Gone.

Maybe even forever…

They were back at their base. Thankfully, they weren't kittens.

The room was dead quiet. Itachi was the first one to move, glaring at Pain with glowing Sharingan eyes before turning and walking out of the room.

Sasori just stood there, his eyes on the ground and his shoulders slumped, before he finally turned and trudged out of the room. He looked more empty than ever.

Tobi was whimpering, saying "Tobi misses Haruka-chan already…Leader-sama is being mean, not letting us stay with the girls…" Before slipping off, seeming to be crying about the girl he had lost.

Deidara was the last one to leave, turning to look at Pain with hate-filled eyes. When he spoke, his voice was cold. It was obvious he would never forgive his leader.

"Leader, you're gonna regret this someday, un. And you know what? I would have given absolutely anything to stay there. Regardless of whether we belong or not."

And then he left as well.

It went like that until finally it was just Pain and Konan standing there, alone in the empty room of the base.

Konan finally turned to Pain.

"Nagato…there is something I would like to ask you."

…

...

…

…

…

_**THE END?**_

**Oh dear. You guys must just hate me right about now, huh? Writing a last chapter to end on such a sad and suspenseful note…well, hopefully the epilogue will make you happier when it comes out. Now, before I end this off, I would like to give some HUGE THANK YOUS in place of a Question. Because these are for VERY important people to this fanfiction. Here goes:**

**First, I would like to thank my friend Itachis-Only for two things: Allowing me to use her OC Kagami in this (and hopefully in the future) fanfiction and indirectly helping me with plot through our roleplays. Seriously, girl, you're awesome, and I love you in a perfectly friendly online way. *glomps***

**Second off: Zek. Words cannot express my thanks to you, Zek, for so many things: Posting this fanfiction, being my editor, getting me into fanfiction, getting me into Naruto and…heck with it: Making me the hyper, random, and perverted anime Otaku I am today. Love you, Zek! *glomps***

**Third: Kennedy. She doesn't have an account here, but she allowed me to use her OC Haruka in this story, as well as giving me the idea of Wyatt's design through an ex-boyfriend that was a total jerk/practically stalked her for a few weeks. :)**

**And finally: All of you, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, for reviewing, favoriting, alerting, and even just reading this story. Seriously, I love all of you (in a non-creepy way) and you are so incredibly awesome. Without all these people mentioned, Akatsukitties may very well have never existed.**

**And now…stay tuned for the soon-to-come epilogue! And try to help me with my goal of 400 reviews!**

**_~Hope you enjoyed!~_**


	30. Epilogue

**This is it, guys. The epic conclusion to this fanfic…it's a bit shorter than the last chapter, but oh well. This is just how it works.**

**Oh, and before I get, Happy New Year! (Hopefully the chapter's posted by then…)**

**I really don't have much to say, other than that my Christmas was awesome. I got Skyward Sword, Rune Factory Frontier, Golden Sun: Dark Dawn, Just Dance 3, about a million books, and my dad got a PS3 for technically the whole family…**

**Oh. And Rock Band. My new true love…**

**Well, the chapter might as well start now…please enjoy.**

Third Person POV

It had been about two months since the Akatsuki had left. Things hadn't been the best around the city of Los Angeles, California. At least, not for the four teenage girls.

Shizuka had pretty much gone back into herself. Like her name implied, she had always been quiet, but now it was a challenged to make her say more than five words per day, not including "Yes" and "No", which had become her primary communication. She didn't draw much anymore.

Masaru and Rachel had been doing everything to comfort her when she explained why she was acting like this, but to no avail. She just didn't want to be happy, and refused all attempts for people to make her act like it.

Kagami was like a completely different person. She didn't smile or laugh or threaten people or really do anything anymore. She'd stumbled around like a zombie for weeks, and even now she still was in shock.

She started crying during school a few times, and when the teacher had asked her if she was alright, she just sobbed even harder and started cursing Pain again, which caused the poor man to feel very confused and scared before letting her go home for the rest of the day.

Haruka had changed almost the most dramatically. For starters, she was having a bit of a growth spurt, getting a bit taller and curvier. She was also acting a bit more mature, a bit less clueless and innocent. Her parents had been surprised at first, but upon seeing her crying in her room so frequently, it had changed to panic.

They call her friends, who were no help, they called a therapist,who Haruka refused to speak to, they called everyone. There was no luck. Haruka was refusing to talk about the man she had fallen madly in love with. The man that she missed.

Yume had just…broken. She'd lock herself into her bedroom and not come out for ages, at seemingly random times. If you put your ear to the door, you could hear her sobbing with her voice muffled by the pillow.

The only time she'd actually laugh in months was because her fourteen-year-old sister Naomi asked if she was being so moody because she was pregnant. Of course, her mom had heard that, and gone into a complete panic, even taking her to the hospital to have tests done before realizing it had just been a joke.

Aside from that, they were only able to really talk with each other about the whole thing. Everyone else would just shrug and say, "So? Go get a new boyfriend."

Another interesting development was Courtney.

She had gotten out of the hospital only recently, and her personality had changed a lot. She didn't cheat on her boyfriend, she didn't wear ridiculously suggestive clothes, she didn't look down on everyone else, and she was almost nice.

Sometimes…once in a while…

Okay, fine, she was still a bitch. Just not as much of one.

Whether it was the scar on her side, her cousin going insane, or something else, she was actually a bit nicer now. She got along pretty good with the girls, and they talked sometimes.

Not often, but sometimes.

She'd learned that the boys left, but not to where. Unlike Wyatt-who was now rotting in the ground-she'd only heard of their anime roots once, and though he was just being a jerk. So she ignored it, and they didn't correct her.

Sure, she'd try to cheer them up once in a while, but never very easily. And never successfully. Finally, she just gave up on it and let them sulk when she came by occasionally.

None of the girls really watched Naruto anymore. It was just torture to watch the episodes, and-in some cases-see the criminals they'd grown so close to die on screen for other people's entertainment.

It wasn't like they'd turned into total angst-fests, they still had their moments…just not often. It wasn't like freaking Twilight where they started screaming in their sleep and staring out a window blankly for six months. It was just…sorrow. (J/N Because really…that's just ridiculous.)

Pure and simple. Maybe they'd get over it, maybe they wouldn't.

But today was something entirely different.

Rachel, being the efficient twenty one year old that she was, had gotten the wedding between her and Masaru planned out quickly and easily. She'd done in less than four months what took many women almost a year.

Of course, it was a small ceremony. She wanted it to be simple, and short, and sweet. So it was.

The girls couldn't even care less as she got them to wear dresses, which were a pale cream color with a dark gold flower pattern as her bridesmaids. Not even Kagami complained.

They just kind of stumbled through the reception, not really there nor anywhere else.

Shizuka couldn't help but remember how when they'd learned of the wedding, she had been holding Sasori's hand.

All four of them were thankful that crying during weddings was perfectly normal, so nobody thought it strange that about halfway through, all four of them burst into hysterical tears, thinking of their lovers.

They went outside of the church later on their own, just to talk for a while.

"So…Rachel is your sister-in-law now, right, Shizuka?" Yume asked, looking at her.

She nodded mutely. "Yeah…I guess so…."

"That's, um, kind of cool I guess," she said, awkwardly. They'd never really talked much, trying to keep their minds off of things like this. But this was a wedding; so they should be happy for Rachel, right?

Too bad they just couldn't figure out how to feel like that now.

They sat quietly for a few moments, Haruka absently plucking a white rose from one of the bushes, tracing her hand over the petals while they were lost in thought.

After a few moments, Kagami said, "I wonder…what would they say if they could see us all dressed up and pretty like this?"

"What would who say?"

"The boys. Duh." The first time in two months that she acted sarcastic.

"Yeah…" Yume murmured, closing her eyes part of the way, struggling to keep her emotions in control. She didn't want to be this miserable at Rachel's huge day.

Inside, she could hear the friends of the newlywed couple talking and laughing with the groom and his bride. But the words were just white noise.

"Tobi would probably start gushing about how beautiful Haruka looks," Shizuka started. "Deidara would just be blushing, like he always does when he thinks Yume looks good. Itachi would just tell Kagami she's pretty and kiss her. Sasori…" She broke off, unable to even say her boyfriend's name.

Kagami put a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "He would get incredibly protective of you, almost to the point of possessive, and glare at anyone who so much as LOOKED at you with interest."

Shizuka smiled awkwardly. "Yeah…I guess you're right."

It was the first time any of them had been able to really talk about the boys without crying…

Maybe it was because of the wedding tonight changing the atmosphere. Maybe they were getting a little bit better, even if they never got over it entirely. Or maybe it's Maybelline. (J/N I had to. XD Forgive me for ruining the moment)

_THE AKATSUKI BASE_

What had been two months for the girls was only one month for the shinobi that they were missing so deeply. Time moved half as fast in their world, it seemed, but it was still enough.

Actually, if anything, they were taking it worse.

Sasori had seemingly gone back to normal. He was cold, emotionless, and only seemed to take any focus at all on his puppets. But even then, he never really seemed interested anymore. There was one other major difference: He hadn't said a single word since they'd gotten back.

The only way he really communicated was by nodding, shaking his head, or shrugging his shoulders. He was even more difficult to understand that Itachi. Speaking of Itachi…

The Uchiha was similar to Sasori. He'd occasionally say "yes" or "no" or something like that, but he usually spoke in his little "hn's".

His goals of fighting his brother and dying in doing so had been utterly destroyed. He'd promised Kagami that he would stay alive, and he would. Even more interestingly was that he'd finally sucked up his pride and asked Kakuzu and Konan to use medical ninjutsu on him, to heal his failing eyes and the illness killing him.

His sickness was almost entirely gone-though his eyes were still damaged-and he would live. All for the girl who'd stolen his cold, black, criminal heart.

The base was much quieter too because of Tobi. He still managed to irritate the members on occasion, but not as often. He didn't shriek or act like a spazz as much. Deidara was still his Senpai, and he was still Tobi. But more often than not, he'd suddenly get sad, murmur something about "Haruka-chan" and slip back to his room.

The man behind the mask was also upset. Madara Uchiha would go into his room as Tobi, then sit down and place his head in his hands, taking off his mask. Sometimes he'd just be quiet and depressed like that. Other times he'd just be possessed by anger and run out of the base so that he didn't break his cover in destroying anything.

Deidara had also been hit very hard. He still talked, unlike his Danna, but it was his personality that changed drastically. He was a little more subdued, and didn't get angry as easily. He didn't argue with Sasori, he didn't chase Tobi, he didn't glare at Itachi…he didn't even take an interest in his own art.

Out of all the Akatsuki, he was both the youngest and the most emotional. There were times when he would lock himself in his room to hide the burning tears in his eyes that he refused to let anyone see, because of his pride.

He was very thankful that the walls in most of the rooms were soundproof.

In fact, all of the members had been affected, not just those four. They all kinda missed the girls.

Hidan and Kakuzu still fought, but it was usually half-hearted and over with quickly. They just weren't as "into it." And in all honesty, the sadistic-masochistic Jashinist sort of missed getting beaten with a skillet. (J/N He likes getting hurt. Regardless of getting knocked out, he probably enjoys Kagami beating on him.)

He and Kisame seemed to be the only ones who could really talk about the girls without getting awkward of depressed. They'd been pretty close to them-in a nonromantic way-and most of their thoughts of them involved the more humorous moments.

Zetsu and Kakuzu had never been particularly closed, but they still missed the antics of the four excitable otakus, even if just from watching them torment the others.

Konan, however, had been acting _very_ strange. She wasn't depressed or angry or anything, but she would just go into her room for hours, reading, and come back out later to go discuss things with Pain.

Today, she'd finally figured out enough. And she had some choice words for her partner.

"Nagato." She walked into his office, and he glanced up at her, frowning.

"Yes, Konan?"

"I think I know enough now for my idea to work," she said, her eyes showing a hint of excitement.

The pierced man sighed. "Konan, for the last time, this isn't your style of jutsu. This just isn't something you can do."

Konan narrowed her eyes. "Nagato, I'm not a weakling. I know enough to focus my chakra into that style of jutsu, and I've figured out the basics of how it works. It's just a matter of having the time to work out all the details and get it perfect."

"And how long will that take?"

"Two months, at the maximum." (J/N Four months for the girls.)

"…and you're positive that this will work."

Konan rolled her eyes. "For the millionth time, _yes. _I know that this jutsu will succeed if you just give me a chance at using it. So then…do I have your permission?"

"Yes…I supposed you do," Pain said with a pause, nodding.

Konan grinned and turned, walking out of the room.

"Where are you going, Konan?"

"My room. I want this to be secret." She smirked at him, turning to glance over at him with a glint in her eyes.

"And besides…I have a lot of work to do if I want to bring the girls here as soon as possible."

…**yes. You read that last part involving the jutsu right. Your wishes are true: THERE'S GONNA BE A SEQUEL. OH YEAH.**

**Final question: What do you think would be a good title for the sequel? Currently, my only idea is "Kitty Karma", but I'm not sure of it...so please, any ideas will be welcome! I seriously need them!**

**In all honesty, I think you guys deserve this sequel. A lot. :) Because really, this was just a spur-of-the-moment thing I decided would be fun to try, and here I am with over 300 reviews-almost 400-and many more people reading my fics than I ever could have hoped for.**

**I'm planning for the sequel to come out in February or March. Give myself time to work more on my other fanfic-which sorely needs it, before I just get tired of it-and get some ideas. I also want to have 400 reviews before I start it.**

**Take that as a hint. :)**

**Until next time, my lovelies~**

**_~Have a good 2012 :)~_  
**


End file.
